Is that so bad? Plus I don’t run the risk of getting sued into oblivion.

[He has some Italian blood inside him, it’s practically the same thing as being made of pizzas.

He plants the tip of the sword on the ground, leans on the hilt.] What do you want me to do to prove it’s real, stab myself with it? [Because he actually will do it if dared. It wouldn’t even be the first time, he has been impaled so many times by now it barely even registers anymore.]