( imagine it. and the helplessness. but she prefers to rail against it, anyway. and she's not sure why it's the same thing as them feeling impotent: surely, none of them thought they were gods, did they? it was a rock. none of them told the rock to go, did they? pulled it off course. this wasn't a conjuction, as far as she knew. )
Surviving what was supposed to kill you feels something similar. Especially if you're the only one. Only the regrets don't end. The words you didn't say enough don't get said. The pain doesn't stop because you survived. You keep going until the next thing tries to kill you, and they're all there. Still with you. And nothing can ever change it.
no subject
( imagine it. and the helplessness. but she prefers to rail against it, anyway. and she's not sure why it's the same thing as them feeling impotent: surely, none of them thought they were gods, did they? it was a rock. none of them told the rock to go, did they? pulled it off course. this wasn't a conjuction, as far as she knew. )
Surviving what was supposed to kill you feels something similar. Especially if you're the only one. Only the regrets don't end. The words you didn't say enough don't get said. The pain doesn't stop because you survived. You keep going until the next thing tries to kill you, and they're all there. Still with you. And nothing can ever change it.