[ A majority of the things he cared about most here are gone now. Ripped from him despite how much he wanted to or actually tried to hang on to them. And the yearning he had - has to get them back so badly, somehow ... was something like this what he wanted?
Maybe this is just another stinging slap to the face to mock him, show him yet again that he shouldn't have wished for something like that at all for himself, because look what happens. He doesn't want a redo, he doesn't want to start from the very beginning. He wants what he had so he simultaneously wants to reject this but there's that part of him that knows none of this is Peter's fault, knows how much a rejection would hurt for something like that. Knows how much rejection tears at someone in general.
It's true. There is no reason they can't be friends now. Except for Yzak himself and the fear that begins to bubble back up inside of him that he can tentatively reach for this and only have it end the same way, all over again. And yet like a moth (and such a stupid moth, he thinks) drawn to a flame and the warmth and light that it offers he wants to move toward it, despite the burns he already carries. ]
I guess there is that.
I'm not going to tell you to fuck off or anything, if that's what you're afraid of.
[ It's not a no by a long shot, but not exactly a warm, enthusiastic yes. Which is probably the best thing possible at the moment. ]
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Maybe this is just another stinging slap to the face to mock him, show him yet again that he shouldn't have wished for something like that at all for himself, because look what happens. He doesn't want a redo, he doesn't want to start from the very beginning. He wants what he had so he simultaneously wants to reject this but there's that part of him that knows none of this is Peter's fault, knows how much a rejection would hurt for something like that. Knows how much rejection tears at someone in general.
It's true. There is no reason they can't be friends now. Except for Yzak himself and the fear that begins to bubble back up inside of him that he can tentatively reach for this and only have it end the same way, all over again. And yet like a moth (and such a stupid moth, he thinks) drawn to a flame and the warmth and light that it offers he wants to move toward it, despite the burns he already carries. ]
I guess there is that.
I'm not going to tell you to fuck off or anything, if that's what you're afraid of.
[ It's not a no by a long shot, but not exactly a warm, enthusiastic yes. Which is probably the best thing possible at the moment. ]