[Half vampire. ALRIGHT. SURE! Why wouldn't that be a thing, after everything else he's seen? He is decidedly NOT going to panic about it, not going to panic about it, NOT going to panic--]

You know, if I'd seen this message a few months back... I probably would have assumed you were just some crazy fan of that Stoker fellow.

[Ha. Hahah. Wavering attempt at some humor??? Hoo-boy.]