ximilia | The Rumor Mill, Featuring Serious Talk | Video

[Hello, it's me, Newt!

With a black eye. Don't ask, it's fine. Totally fine. He rocks a shiner like no other.]

Sooo.... I may or may not have spread some rumors about you guys.

Nothing too extreme, okay? I swear they're all relatively harmless personal goal stuff! Some of it is... from some gossiping housewives that got a little too excitable; you know how it is. Rita's little gaggle comes over, and then it's suddenly total drama central about who's with who and what's happening where. I kinda got super into it. Maybe I'm housewife material, is all I'm saying. But I guess I'll settle for high school teacher again, since that's my bread and butter.

And who knows? Maybe there are some answers we can find there.

Since the personal goal's out of the way. Which I guess... won't be a thing pretty soon, huh? We're getting closer and closer to the end of this gig... Looking for orbs, I mean. I know for the new blood, that probably can be a mixed bag. Some people wanna get it over with ASAP, and some people are mortified to go back already. Right? I know I, uh. I'm struggling a little. Honestly.

[Oh, shit, are we talking real, genuine feelings right now? Yeah, we sure are.

He wrings his hands together a little bit, looking concerned as he bites his lip.]

I don't know, man. I don't know. Is it weird that I don't wanna go? Once it's all said and done, the idea of changing up my life to something more normal... I miss my dad, and I miss my uncle. I miss my old friends, back in the states. Like, of course I do. But life's gonna be so fucking different when I go back — if the orbs fulfill their side of the bargain, then I'll have people I'll never met. Things I'll have never done... changes in how the timeline flows. A lot changes when there's no war for the survival of the planet, right? Especially when you were right in the middle of that war, trying to stop it... Now I'm just, like. Wondering. If it'd be better if I stayed out here longer... tried to do more good out here? If it's even possible. Maybe that's just...

Um. Shit. This got way too serious.

Scratch that last few minutes of rambling.

What're you guys up to here? What's your covers? And on a scale of one to ten, how bad would it be if I hit one of those weird creepy figures in the knee with a little rubber plexor?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Is it your fault people are accusing me of not liking pie and saying they'll never bring me another? 'Cause as much as I like you I kinda wanna kick your ass a little.

[DANGER, NEWTON GEISZLER.]

... In fairness to me, someone else in the housewife group gave me the idea.

I just ran with it! A little bit.

[ his expression is somewhere between disgruntled and vaguely amused. ]

Uh huh. You owe me some pie, dude.

Okay, okay! Sheesh. What pie am I getting you, you addict?

Apple. Nice and hot. Oh, and I want the criss cross crust.

... Geez, you had that one in the chamber from the jump, huh.

Side of ice cream, or nah?

I mean, obviously, dude. Vanilla. Real vanilla, not the imitation stuff.

Alright, alright. Sounds good.

Before I let you go to fetch this elusive pie --

How've you been doing? Find anything interesting out there?

Other than chasing pies.

[ This is audio. But are you hearing it through your earpiece or is his voice carrying throughout the entire town?

Yes. ]

I AM NOT BALD!!

[OW OW OW OW-]

STOP YELLING IN MY EAR, BALDY!

DO YOU WANT A MATCHING BLACK EYE TO GO WITH THE ONE YOU'VE ALREADY GOT?

BECAUSE I CAN PROVIDE THAT FOR YOU!

You'd never! You like me way too much!

[ He hates that he's right.

And he hates that Newton KNOWS that he knows that he's right.

So he'll stop screaming for now. Wait a few minutes. And then when his voice returns it's not yelling but it's still grouchy. ]

I've already got enough stupid bullshit floating around about me! Now I've got to have people staring at my head!

Hey! Don't just blame me!

Maybe they're staring because you're totally handsome.

I know I am! But there's a difference between staring at my face and my head like they're puzzling something out!

Man, Yzak... You gotta have more faith in yourself.

...

Just because you're bald doesn't mean you've lost your rizz.

[ rita listens in on newt's little broadcast right from inside the same home, though for her, it's done from inside the kitchen where she's pulling out an ice tray from the fridge to pluck those cubes out and place into a cluster on top of a hand towel. bundling it up, she twists the towel to keep the ice inside before she works her way back out in the living room. ]

Now, now, I know you can't resist a good chat with the audience, but take about five minutes, at least — [ she takes a seat next to him, nudging him at the shoulder. ] Rest your head back and let me hold this on you before that bruise spreads. If you don't, I'll chase the mongrel that did this to you and choke him out myself.

[Newt puts his hands up, waggling them placatingly toward Rita. His tie has been all but abandoned to hang, unmade, around his neck. Sloppy post-workday husband material if there ever was any; Rita knows how to pick the fake husbands for missions (... if you ask him).]

C'mon, Ri, I told you I'm totally fine! The guy didn't even have a chance at getting another hit in on me, he was so sloppy. So you shouldn't even have to worry about it, alright? It's barely even showing.

[It's such an obvious black eye. 100%.]

I suppose that means I have you to thank for my... lovely gifts.

Hey, you said you like horses!
I'm just doing a buddy a favor while I'm fulfilling my personal goals.
Two birds, one horse house!

How could I ever thank you for this.

A big SMOOCH. 💋💋💋💋

Or cookies. That's what neighbors make for each other in places like this, right?
Cookies or casseroles.

So you're the reason people have been asking me about geology despite their clear lack of interest.

[ No, Sherlock. They're attempting to ask politely why you flunked out of school to join a rock band despite playing a violin. The fact that you left Cambridge University because you got bored but also have a Bachelor of Geology from Miskatonic University is complete coincidental.

Being from 1882 is hard.

But perhaps feel sorry for the townsfolk who have to listen to Sherlock talk about the different soils he's found in Amaryllis Grove. ]

Geolog...

Wait, you mean the rock band thing?
Dude... I gotta introduce you to rock music ASAP.

🤘😲🎸🎶

[ Are those little pictures at the bottom of his message? Is it decorative? Some sort of code? ]

Judging by this new context, I doubt the music is produced using actual rocks. Is it percussion related?

[ Funny enough, one of Sherlock's favorite violin composers has a bit of a rock star reputation. ]

No man, it's made with guitars and drums and bass! Man, you oldtimers really missed out when it comes to music. Remind me to give you my playlist when we get back to the Ximilia, huh?

We have our own masterpieces, but I look forward to an introduction all the same.

[ Funny how Sherlock's the oldtimer when Newt is 14 years older than him. ]

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