( text | un: butcher )

[cheapbastard]

yeah, all right, i'm new here. please send your welcome wagon baskets of cookies to my room. i'm hungry.

( but that wasn't the reason he was putting himself out there now. he didn't really want to talk to this lot but seems like that was gonna have to be something he does.

so, he's making it happen. )

what i'm gettin from this place is that i can't go back to where i was, this place is in fuckin' space and those are actual fuckin' stars out there, and you lot like to get fucked up drunk sometimes.

( yes, he'd seen that post of yours, newton. seen it and he was going to remember it for the rest of his life. )

so, since you lot are so ready to offer up advice, i got two things:

one, where can i get a fuckin' good drink?
two, where can i punch the shit out of something? or someone. volunteers? i'm definitely taking volunteers. come on, everyone's so helpful here, right?

Comments

[cheapbastard]

you're here to fix it?
that's the whole deal thing right?

[catchatting]

Part of it. Not the breakup part, but the rest of it.

[cheapbastard]

what all did you break that wasn't just your relationship?

[catchatting]

A weird little mushroom entity that was keeping the Earth safe from alien invasion. Also we got stranded in 1920s America. Not a real fun time to be a woman or not white BTW.

Oh, I didn't break the mushroom guy, though. It was my ex and this mad scientist clone who tricked him, because it turns out the male ego is the greatest force in the galaxy.

I'd say no offense, but like if you can't take that concept you might need a little.

[cheapbastard]

weird little mushroom guy?
you sure you didn't snort some of those, huh?

[catchatting]

Drugs are really more my brother's purview. I think he ate some of the mushroom that my boyfriend became.

[cheapbastard]

and people think i'm fucked up
you've got a mushroom boyfriend

[catchatting]

Excuse you. Mushroom ex.
Why do people think you're fucked up?

[cheapbastard]

well.
that's a very long fuckin list
i don't know if you have the time to listen.

[catchatting]

You're right. I have a very important appointment with sitting alone and thinking about my ex boyfriend the magic mushroom man and how my leaving him alone for five freaking minutes almost destroyed the whole planet.
Tell me. I could use the distraction.

[cheapbastard]

well, i tend to enjoy violence
a lot
it's fun.

[catchatting]

Are you an adrenaline junkie or do you just like hurting people?

[cheapbastard]

depends on the day
makes me sound kinda unhinged don't it?

[catchatting]

I literally told you that you need therapy, dumbass.

[cheapbastard]

yeah but everyone says that
just think of it as an endearment these days.

[catchatting]

Dumbass might be, but suggesting therapy is more life advice than anything else.

[cheapbastard]

can't really get any therapy while i'm here can i
moot point

[catchatting]

Just don't go around hurting people who don't deserve it, okay?

[cheapbastard]

i'll do my best.