text. » un: rhysand

[business]

Of course we're all terribly busy, but I would like to announce that I am now accepting suggestions on how best to celebrate a 537th birthday. As no one I know from home is here and we are currently on mission, I realized I cannot possibly expect a surprise party, much to my own disappointment — though, if someone should feel inclined to gift me something with milk and honey, or otherwise assaulted with sugar and sweet things, I would be surprised, and I wouldn't turn it down.

Something to think about, as a celebration of me. Carry on.
🦇

Comments

[peasant]

yet. preparations must be made.
i'm not taking my chances.

but which birthday is it now? your 534th?
if it was your 537th, i might be more obliging. 🤔

[business]

I think you like listening to my voice too much for all that. And why shouldn’t you? I’m a delight. My voice is comparable to songbirds and bells. Don’t ask me to sing, or my voice shall break your heart from its beauty. I’ve been told I have the range of a symphony.

I knew you had a thing for older males.

[peasant]

break my heart, or break glass?
i would encourage your performances if i didn't think you would just serenade yourself for hours.

shut up.

[ fortunately, she raises her mental walls to shield against the device plucking out her embarrassed echoes of shut up shut up shut up shut up. no need to give him more reason to tease her. ]

you know what? you're right. the more wrinkled the better.
which makes you a top contender, flying mouse. have you ever heard the phrase "old bat"?

[business]

No, no. I'll serenade you.

( the thing about shielding, alina, is that when you always have your shields down and out, it makes it obvious you're hiding something when suddenly they're up. struck a nerve then, did he?

in hindsight — yeah. kind of a dick move. )

I have.
You know, suddenly wrinkles don't sound so bad, if it means I'm yours. Call me a raisin, shriveled up in your light. I will be content.

[peasant]

do a little jig with it, too.
the court of alina starkov demands proper entertainment.

🦇 you are mine, wrinkles and all.
i'll be gentle wth your old, brittle bones.

[business]

Most Night Court dances require a partner. In which case, very well.

You are endlessly generous, my Sankta. 🙏

[peasant]

i'll find you a suitable dance partner. how do you feel about mops?

only to the faithful. 😊

[business]

Dancing with you might be like dancing with a mop, if you're as awful as you say.

I say my prayers every night. I am very pious.

[peasant]

a mop doesn't cause nearly as much damage.
we've danced together before. well, a little. you came out of it with only minimal bruises.
but i can't make any promises this time.

oh, yes. you are the most sinless picture of pure piety that i have ever known.

[business]

That hardly counted.
You didn't bruise me. And even if you did, I don't mind. I want to dance with you.

From a holy being such as yourself, that is the highest form of praise I can imagine.

[peasant]

it counted to me. you're by far the best dancing partner i've ever had.
we are in a castle. 🏰 maybe you can politely ask it to lead us to a ballroom?

now you're just mocking me.

[business]

( heh. he does not miss the slam dunk she's just delivered on the darkling's doorstep. )

Such flattery. I must admit, I like spinning you around in circles, too.
I will beg on hand and knee. For a ballroom, and for a pretty gown to dress you in.

I would never.

[peasant]

i think there's only one room for a princess in this castle. maybe something more simple than a gown.
unless you want me to trip and fall on my face this time.

really? 🤔
i have a long list of memories that say otherwise, mischief maker

[business]

Do you dislike wearing them?
You looked quite beautiful in the dresses Braccia had for you. Of course, I think you look beautiful in most everything.

( and especially in nothing. but. )

Your memory must be failing you, my love. I am so angelic, the saints weep at my virtue. 😇

[peasant]

they would suit me better if i was a princess. should the peasantry really be wearing beautiful gowns?
how about potato sacks instead? i think those are my finest, most suitable garments.

my memory is not the one endangered by old age, my love.
does "angelic" mean what i think it means?

[business]

You are a little potato.
I'm sure you'd make even potato sacks look like threads from the gods.
Do saints not have a suitable uniform?

Like an angel. The opposite of the devil.
Chaste and virtuous and pure. Terms you'd use to describe me, yes?

[peasant]

if saints do have uniforms, they're probably ugly and excessive.
and more chaste than whatever you would choose for me.

hang on, i think i'm losing my eyesight.
those definitely can't be the actual words you just used to describe yourself.

[business]

Then as my partner, you are deserving of dresses.
And lacier things. I’ll try hard not to think about it. Wouldn’t want to accidentally send an image.

Death incarnate, Night triumphant.
Such soft words to describe me.
How would you?

[peasant]

you mean the lacier things you keep stealing
at this rate i'm going to run out

i saw you with chubby wings. i can't call you death incarnate with a straight face
hmmm what words would i choose
fluffy flying mouse. needy kitten. troublemaker
my moon and all my stars.
how are those?

[business]

I fail to see the issue.

My wings were not chubby.

( how unimaginably rude. he does imagine continual rudeness, as is alina’s general taken path, and yet — somehow, he is rewarded instead. maybe wounds are still too raw between them to permit their usual teasing, or maybe alina is always going to be the one to catch him off guard with her words, her actions. rhys smiles at her, warm and too soft, her moon and every star. )

Too kind for me to deserve them.
I love when you look at me that way.

[peasant]

the issue is that you won't be able to appreciate them for what they were made for 😔

so chubby. a chubby sphere with chubby wings.
must have been all those fig pastries.

[ dimples divot the sides of her face, framing the silly grin that stretches across it. ]

who decides you're deserving? you? i don't think so.
do you? that's conveneint, then, because i love you.

[business]

I’ll fetch you more.

What a wicked, cruel woman.
I’ll have you know, these wings are very heavy.

( and sweet figs are very, very good. )

You decide where to put your love. I’m just the humble man who gets to wonder how he ever deserved it.
I love you, too.
🍑

[peasant]

we're in a castle. how are you going to fetch more?
should i wear a tablecloth? i'm sure that would be incredibly sexy.

hmmm. i don't think wings cause blushing on chubby cheeks, though.
🤔

"humble" and "rhysand" are words that don't work together.
(also, it was the chocolates, really. that's what sealed the deal.)
🍊

[business]

Only if you intend for me to eat dinner off your lap.

What do you expect? You were one of the prettiest girls I had ever seen. And you smiled at me.
I’d never even seen a human, at that point. My father liberated them all long before I was born.

Then may your sweet tooth never sour, and your love for me live eternal.

[peasant]

hmmm. no, you're too messy for that.
we would need more than a tablecloth to clean up.

you don't blush when i smile now. did i lose my shine once you became an old man?
i didn't know your world had humans at all. only fae and ... deer-like creatures.
peryton?

may your pockets run so deep there's always room for my pastries.
though — my love could be sweetened with a bribe.