ximilia | ( text | un: butcher )

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( text | un: butcher )

i ain't here to commiserate or shit like that
you wanna feel like shit, feel like shit
no one's gonna baby you

but i've had a little to drink, the stars all look the same so i'm curious
tell me your biggest sin
come on, i was the fuckin' preacher back in that shitty town
i listened to all kinds of shit from those people
none of you shits came to visit so

cleanse yourself
get it off your chest
or make something up to entertain me.

( he doesn't expect anyone to actually go confessing their sins but hey, maybe they'll get creative and he'll have his fun for the night. )

come on, i'll tell you mine if you tell me yours.
if you don't wanna share, tell me, you think the end justifies the means?
would you be willing to do some nasty shit to get the best result in the end?

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fine fine
where are you?
in your decadent, luxurious room?

yes, billy.

i'm in my palace of a bedroom

do you want me to come there or would that be weird?

why would it be weird? you're one of my close friends. i invited you here. you're always welcome.

i don't know. i was trying to be polite or some shit.

the effort is noted and appreciated

but now i'm insisting you come by. there's cookies involved, if you play your cards right

what kind of cookies?
i'm on the way.

i made three different kinds

chocolate chip, peanut butter, and plain sugar

surely one of those must be something you like

you're really stressed if you made that many cookies goddamn

After the last mission?

I've got a lot of stress to work out.

that's when i like to punch shit.

I think with how you had to repeatedly save me back in Scorpion's Bend, it's not exactly a secret that punching isn't something I'm good at doing.

you could be good at it
but your talents might just lay elsewhere

i'm coming down the hall now

[and in about two seconds her door opens and her head pops out. the second she spots him, there's a smile on her face. it isn't until she's ushered him inside that he gets a hug. she gets he has an image to uphold.]

What made you want to know about everyone's biggest sins, anyway?

Curiosity.

( he doesn't shove her away when she hugs him, appreciative that she'd done it behind closed doors. )

I wanted to see just how many people might be honest about it too.

How many do you think were honest?

[She's totally forgotten that she hasn't told him her answer yet.]

A few of them. Honestly, more than I thought.

( maybe some people were fuckin' exaggerating but he guessed that a lot of people were telling the truth. )

Pretty sure that they might have been holding back on some of the juiciest stuff but hey, at least there was some honesty.

[Somehow, she's surprised to hear that. Clara generally thinks most people are honest, but she knows that trust issues also run deep among their crew. So she nods in appreciation of his assessment, making note to use her earpiece to go back and read or listen to the responses later.]

Do you feel comfortable telling me the entire story now?

[he hadn't wanted to give details to his answer over the network. but maybe he'll feel comfortable enough now. she gestures over to her bed, so they can sit and talk about it.]

What, my biggest sin?

( was that what he'd agreed to tell her? he doesn't say anything after that, moving to take a seat on her bed. he leans back, arms behind him and sighs. )

Is that what I agreed to talk about? Or was it something else? Can't quite remember. Gettin' old.

The woman you watched die. The one you let die. How could you forget?

[Clara's sitting right at his side, enough so that she can elbow him in the side.]

I'm not gonna tell you my answer unless you explain yours first.

Ah, that one. Stillwell.

( he rubs a hand over his face and then flops back onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. )

She worked for this company called Vought and they...well, they fuckin' manufactured superheroes. I know that might sound like a good idea but it's fuckin' not. It's not.

[She stays sitting up while he talks, but winds up laying down beside him, turning so her head can rest on his chest. He makes a pretty decent pillow. If he wants to shove her off though, she won't be offended.]

It sounds like a terrible idea. Why would they want to manufacture superheroes?

( he doesn't shove her of. it's kind of nice. reminds him of better times. )

Easiest answer? Money. You manufacture superheroes, you're in charge of them, you can make them do whatever the fuck you want.

So she was one of the bad guys.

[in some ways, it's easier to think of it like that. In terms of bad vs good, of bad deserving punishment. She knows it's not as simple as that, and her mind doesn't work in such concrete terms. She knows there's shades of grey in between the black and the white, and nothing is ever as simple as it seems.]

Did she try doing anything to you?

[She asks, sitting up just enough that she can look him in the eye. There's an edge of protectiveness in her tone, like she might go back in time and punch the woman for daring to try harming him.]

Not directly.

( still well probably wasn't responsible for homelander's creation but she'd certainly encouraged it. she hadn't stopped the fucker.

billy sighs and rubs a hand over his face. )

Once found myself inside a hospital where the newborns had been...dosed with this shit. You ever seen a baby with fuckin' glowing eyes? I have. It's fuckin' horrible.

( and kind of cool. )

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