The reasons don't matter in the long run. It's what you do that will be remembered. If you want to blame guilt, well, someone who carries a lot of guilt could turn that just as easily into anger, spite, cruelty. You're not doing that.
Besides, nobody's pure and perfect. Don't judge yourself too harshly for being human.
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Besides, nobody's pure and perfect. Don't judge yourself too harshly for being human.