ximilia | MASS ANONYMOUS TEXT

Greetings, Orbers! I must thank you for having awoken me — me, the Gossip Ghost! 👻 (Not related to that other ghost going around, the spooky one? Another guy totally, no affiliation, different departments. ) Who am I? Nothing more than the all-seeing, all-empowered being of absolute nightmares who lives in your deepest, darkest dreams. 💅 It's the all-seeing part worthy of note today, though. And wouldn't you like to know what my ghoulish eyes have seen, as of late? None can escape the penetrating gaze of me, the Gossip Ghost! Mwahahahahha‼️

Among you sits a diamond like no other. ☁️ Angelic, some might name him. And yet — have you heard your resident LAN XICHEN is, in fact, newly 42 years of age ⁉️ And he didn't tell anyone! Wish him a happy birthday all, and see if you can convince him to drop his skincare routine. We ghosts are deeply into retinal treatments. Don't forget a present for the most stunning birthday boy!

Surely you've taken note of the Gorgeous Goddess of the Ximilia — YENNEFER. Her beauty is without compare and yet, did you know, she is an actual goddess? Of the moon, in fact. 🌛 If you watch her carefully, you can catch her every full moon howling to her celestial body, waiting to be reunited on her heavenly plane. 😭 Careful, though — if you hear her song you'll turn so sorrowful, you'll cry pearls for a month. Sounds nice and possibly economic, but actually very painful!!

Orbers, I shudder to announce this next one. You are all familiar with the dark as night, edgy punker named SABRIEL. Well, upon reviewing the tapes, I've taken to notice that she who you all thought was so goth, was actually spotted listening to an album called thank u, next by 😱 ARIANA GRANDE 😱 Her reputation is in shambles!!!

But we aren't done just yet! I cast out my ghostly tendrils in the search of gossip, and what I find ... 👻

You'd have to be blind not to have noticed resident man of muscles, hunk extraordinaire, MALYEN ORETSEV donning a new disguise for your monthly mission, yet what no one knows is that he's a natural blonde. In fact, you might say the disguise is the one he wears on deck and is, erm, "letting his hair down" on this mission, as it were. Don't believe me? Next time you see him buzzed and blackened, give his head a little rub — your hand will come away stained by dye! 🤫 You might have to be a little rough with it, though. He uses the good stuff.

Now, now. What can be said about everyone's favorite brooding gentleman, the man constructed halfway to shadow kingdom-come, blessed by the night sky and looks to make the gods of love and beauty weep? That's right, GENERAL KIRGIAN, your dark highness, has his own secrets. You may have heard some of them in the past, and I'm here to confirm, like a crystal ball of truth-seeing — yes, it's true! He's not a General at all but part of the noble line, royalty by station and name. Let us all hail our Prince Consort of Shadow and Sand. 🫡 Be sure to give him offerings of sand and ash next time you see him, it's only respectful! In a pinch, pocket lint will work.

We've started on a brother, why not end on one too? It shouldn't come as any surprise that these two share a bloodline, but LAN WANGJI is the new arrival from the Cloud Recess, and I simply must know — what are they putting in the water up there? 🤍 Anyway, if you've spoken to him, you will probably note he isn't a man of many words, although it isn't by choice! In my ghostly form I have seen a magic aura to him — a curse that was placed on his tongue by pixie sprites, spelling him to evermore speak in short, abrupt words! There is a work around, though. Place a gold coin in each of his hands and kiss him, one, two, on either of his cheeks, and he'll be free of the binding for as long as you hold the gold to his hands! Only problem, is you'll both speak in rhymes ... oh well! Fun, if you ever get bored while on board the S.S. Ximilia! 🚀

Well, Orbers. It has come time for me to part ways from you. And I —

Wait, I'm getting something else. Ah ... yes ... it's coming to me ... one last bit of drama ...!!!!

There's been some accusations thrown on the network about one ALINA STARKOV as of late, but I'm here to give you the full truth. Is it true that she eats snacks out of her pocket like a small, feral raccoon? Yes. I've even noticed her hoarding the goods like a chipmunk tucking chocolates into her cheeks. What you didn't know is she only does it because she loves to share! Next time you see her, ask for a piece of her hoard. You know, from her it's a blessing, and will come with all the holy energy of a good luck charm. What an exceptionally gorgeous talent she has! Praise be. 🙏

I can hear you all shouting now — Gossip Ghost! Don't leave us! Well, darlings, it's been a blast, but all good things must eventually come to an end. Worry not, though! I'll never been too far out of reach that I won't notice all your most salacious secrets. Pray you never seen me again, but celebrate me if you do! We ghosts are fickle and fine and love attention.

only one color, but not one size. stuck at the bottom, yet i easily fly. present in sun, but not in rain. doing no harm, and feeling no pain. what am i?

👻💅

( ooc: the mods made a mistake giving me this personal goal 🥲 anyway these are all varying degrees of truth — feel free to hop around, anonymously post your own rumors, or what have you! we are making a ✨ toxic forum ✨. until next time!! )

MASS ANONYMOUS TEXT — THE GOSSIP GHOST

text; un: castiel