Voice; un: newt

[groupiedrifter]

Oh man, we have new blood again? Welcome aboard!

I've been saving these stickers for the occasion.

[He sends a snapshot of the stickers in question:]



If you're not a newbie and you really want one, I barter in any of the following: snacks, shiny rocks, manga, monster movies, cool figurines, cigarettes, conversations about tattoos, spaghetti or any type of noodle, cute dimples, cheek kisses, compliments about my boots, neat pictures of any manner of phyla, a tall can of pringles, pens with blue or red ink, caffeine patches, 80's or 90's band shirts, things that hover that shouldn't, fancy scissors, dinosaur stickers, or coffee.

Just come on down to the lab and get your very special prize!

If I'm bumping into tables and jumping six feet in the air because you so much as sneezed in my direction, it's because I'm temporarily blind and literally can't see my own hand in front of my face.

Ciao!

Comments

[deaddrop]

Isn't it fair as long as none of us are allowed to have pets? It'd be unfair if someone got to have a cat and no one else got one.

It is kind of a bummer though.

[groupiedrifter]

It isn't fair that you're all crushingly good-looking, but you don't see me forcing everyone to put bags on their heads!

[TOTALLY THE SAME THING]

I used to have so many cool pets. I've had turtles and geckos and spiders and — a newt! Ha! Of course I did. My next pet is totally gonna be an iguana.

[deaddrop]

Oh, yeah, you're really slacking on that aren't you.

[Deadpan. C'mon Newt, really?]

Keeping one of the otters for a pet wouldn't be fair to them, but it doesn't seem like a gecko would be in the way around here.

Maybe a fish.

[groupiedrifter]

Absolutely am.

[Your deadpan does nothing to me!]

A really cool fish, though! something super unique! Maybe a Flowerhorn or Green Terror Cichlid. Or a Rainbow Kribensis!

[You're familiar with the random names of fish species, right???]

[deaddrop]

Is this something you think about a lot?

[Because it's not something Natasha thinks of often. She has no idea what any of those fish are.

But she's glad they seem to bring Newt joy.]

If you could have a fish tank right now, you sound like you know what you'd put in it.

[groupiedrifter]

Of course it's something I think about a lot!

[DUH]

I have a degree in marine biology, I'd be totally lame if I couldn't list a long line of super-awesome fish for a fish tank. Granted, the ones I listed are all freshwater-safe... If you wanna get really spicy, we can consider saltwater tanks.

[ew a marine biologist nerd]

[deaddrop]

I wasn't aware marine biology could get spicy.

I suppose maybe if the fish were poisonous.

[groupiedrifter]

As if Viv and Degar would even let us have life-threatening fish.

[He sounds a little disappointed about it, negl.]

[deaddrop]

Newt.

[Look, she has to ask.]

Do you want to have toxic fish as pets?

[groupiedrifter]

... Maaaaybe...

[He sure does draw that word out long. ]

[deaddrop]

Maybe your next tattoo should be a lionfish. We did have that whole underwater mission—that'd be one way to commemorate it.