video; un: toxicodendron

[greenpower]

[The woman who appears on the video feed is new, and notable for a couple of reasons. First and most obvious, she is fairly notably green. Not just a little green, either. Her skin, eyes, even her lips are clearly and distinctly chlorophyll green. The second, and somewhat less remarkable, is her expression which falls somewhere between irked and uneasy.

If you guessed she's not much of a public speaker, you'd be right. A fact which becomes abundantly clear when she addresses her audience.

Don't you feel smart.]

Hello. Hi. I know there's a bunch of us who just showed up and started filling up your network with, I don't know, I'd call them introductions but I'm not really sure what some of these assholes are doing. Anyway, I'll try to keep this short and no more awkward than necessary.

[Her tone is dry, and the words clearly enunciated and a little louder than natural. As though she's worried the people watching will have a hard time following and she doesn't want to repeat herself.]

I am Dr. Pamela Isley, a.k.a Poison Ivy. You can call me Ivy. I'm not here to stand on formality or wave around my degrees.

[Time to find out if anyone has heard of her. There's no way they'll be lucky enough that no one has heard of her, right?

Deep breath, and:]

I bring it up because I'm a botanist and a biochemist. Trying not to step on any toes here, but I'd like to find out a few things.

One—who can I talk to about using the lab? Are we like assigned space, or is it a free-for-all in there? I don't want to touch anyone's ongoing projects, because I know how I'd feel if someone started poking through mine without checking with me first.

Two—similar question, this time substitute "hydroponic garden" for "lab." You might have noticed... plant theme. Botanist. Like, my thumbs are literally green. It's sort of my brand. If I could get in on that, it would be aces.

[She is trying very, very hard to play nice where the garden is concerned. Ivy is smart enough to know she's not going to get very far making enemies on her first day. So sort of the opposite of prison. Or boarding school.]

And speaking of plants, three—if anyone has any seeds or any cuttings or starts I could persuade them to part with, then I would owe you a favor.

[Each of those last words is drawn out deliberately, her voice growing quieter as she hesitates between words. When she follows up, it's light in contrast:]

I would kill for a spider fern for my room.

[She's joking, but like, is she joking?]

And that about covers it. Just, reach out to me here with any answers. Thaaaanks.

Comments

[dispassioned]

I wouldn’t know how to do that. I’m not a botanist.

[That is not an area of science he knows a lot about. He was faking it hardcore on the mushroom planet. He also wasn’t one of the ones who brought back samples. He just knows Zhao put some in a pot in the sunlight room.]

[greenpower]

[Yeah, that's why she can't expect it. She stops on saying that though, because it reminds her she probably ought to ask something else—]

Just who are you, anyway?

[dispassioned]

Chishiya.

[His name is right there, though.

In kanji but still.]

[greenpower]

Chishiya.

[Sorry. She knows scientific latin. She can't read kanji.

Also it doesn't seem to satisfy her.]

And you do... what?

[dispassioned]

[To be fair, he put his network name in kanji specifically to make things difficult for the westerners on board.]

Well, that depends on the day. Right now, I’m talking to newcomers on the network.

[greenpower]

Let me guess. Comcast customer service rep?

[Deadpan.]

[dispassioned]

I’m pretty sure our network isn’t provided by Comcast.

[greenpower]

So you're just annoying and unhelpful for fun.

[Not a question.]

All right, sport, what are your relevant skills?

[That is a question.]

[dispassioned]

I told you where to find your plants.

[What more do you want from him, sis.]

I made a taser out of a Walkman once.

[greenpower]

They're not my plants.

[Yet.]

Did that come up on a mission?

[dispassioned]

Are you saying they won’t be?

[Because he gets the vibe they might be, you know, once she gets her hands on them.]

Not yet.

[Tasers weren’t necessary on the last mission, but who knows what the future holds.]

[greenpower]

I'll know for sure when I meet them.

[The plants might have their own opinions. Plants sometimes do.]

[dispassioned]

[Considering he was just on a planet full of sentient mushrooms, you know what:]

Ah, well, I guess that’s fair.

[greenpower]

[That seems to be enough to calm her down. At least some. Ivy huffs. Okay, so they're talking. Talk about something productive then.]

So the last mission, right? You were on it. Was it really all giant trees and glowing flowers?

You know, before the asteroid obliterated it.

[dispassioned]

Mm. And sentient mushrooms and toad sages.

But most of the planet was plant life. There were only a few settlements.

[And the people also tended to be plants, so.]

[greenpower]

Sounds like a paradise.

[Not everyone would agree, but she isn't everyone.]