[ text ] un: aragaki; like 4 am

[petsthedog]

[It comes on the network like an intrusive thought -- because it is. Because Shinjiro can't sleep, even with all the talk of distracting activities like movies and pumpkin carving and costume parties. (Where do you even get costumes on a spaceship, anyway?)

Because he can't stop thinking about what Olexa said in that building, at the end. Would you die trying to get that stone back? Cheri's motivations were selfish, but then, aren't theirs too? So-Yeon's hadn't been, and while she'd surrendered the orb, what if she hadn't? What about the next mission?]

do you think the orb is worth killing people for

Comments

[scarcastically]

[ immortal huh. erik carefully files it away. he had a feeling, but it's nice to have confirmation. ]

Neither do I. Doesn't mean you can't commit. S'not really about whether you'll succeed or not. It's about the doing.

[petsthedog]

[Neither do I. Shinjiro wonders if that means what he thinks it means. He'll circle back to it, perhaps.]

Is it? End result, someone's still dead.

[He's not sure throwing himself pointlessly at someone who can easily kill him is more than an empty gesture, either.]

[scarcastically]

[ he shrugs. ]

It's gonna be like that. But at least you'll own your agency and someone else doesn't own you.

[petsthedog]

[There's a silence. Erik is right. He knows Erik's right, but something still sits in his gut, churning with discomfort.

(It's the guilt.)

He stuffs his hands in his pockets again, his usual defensive gesture, and hunches just a bit further inwards than usual.]

...Doesn't feel like enough.

[scarcastically]

[ it would be very easy to point out the obvious. there's nothing that'll be enough for shinji. nothing but a perfect ending and those don't just drop out of the sky. even with all the power this place may promise, it certainly offers no guarantees.

consequence is a power beyond all others. ]

You have to start somewhere. If you never start, then it won't simply be enough.

It'll just be nothing.

[petsthedog]

[Another silence. Yeah, that's fair. As much as he'd like to, he can't argue that.]

...Thanks.

[Another pause, and he squirms a little awkwardly.]

Uh. See you tomorrow, I guess...?

[He almost sounds a little bit shy. Shinjiro had come out here expecting Erik to cut him out of his life, and the man had very specifically not done that. He's not sure what that means for them.]

[scarcastically]

[ erik huffs, amusement trickling in. ]

Yeah, buddy. Go sleep on it for a bit.