( text | un: butcher )

[cheapbastard]

yeah, all right, i'm new here. please send your welcome wagon baskets of cookies to my room. i'm hungry.

( but that wasn't the reason he was putting himself out there now. he didn't really want to talk to this lot but seems like that was gonna have to be something he does.

so, he's making it happen. )

what i'm gettin from this place is that i can't go back to where i was, this place is in fuckin' space and those are actual fuckin' stars out there, and you lot like to get fucked up drunk sometimes.

( yes, he'd seen that post of yours, newton. seen it and he was going to remember it for the rest of his life. )

so, since you lot are so ready to offer up advice, i got two things:

one, where can i get a fuckin' good drink?
two, where can i punch the shit out of something? or someone. volunteers? i'm definitely taking volunteers. come on, everyone's so helpful here, right?

Comments

[cheapbastard]

everyone's got their coping mechanisms.
if you're gonna criticize mine, share yours.

[shadysided]

Mine is calling people will bad coping mechanisms cavemen.

It keeps my liver from pickling.

Anyway, there's no bar and pretty much no booze, sorry to break your spirits.

[cheapbastard]

i'm devastated.
guess i'll have to find something else to do
that or figure out how to make moonshine
that might be a fun creative project

[shadysided]

I'll bet you are.

Could always switch to medication abuse.
I'm sure Dr. McCoy would love to catch someone swiping pills so he can grill them.

[cheapbastard]

you know, that sounds like you're trying to set me up
get me in trouble with this place
i like that
if it weren't directed at me, i'd be encouraging you

[shadysided]

Me, getting someone in trouble?
I'd never.
Pretty sure you're someone who gets into trouble without any help anyway.

[Which she relates to, in her own way.

Not that she'd ever admit such a thing to a bozo like you.]

[cheapbastard]

well, yes.
don't tell me you're gonna be the fun police
getting in trouble's a good time
you just gotta know how to do it and not get caught

[shadysided]

I don't give a shit what you do, as long as you don't screw us over doing it.
Otherwise knock yourself out.
Don't expect any tips or hand-outs on where to find the trouble, though.

What's your regret even, not having enough booze?

[cheapbastard]

oh, my regret is not meeting you sooner
but i guess i've solved that, huh?

i can die happy now

[shadysided]

Pretty lame regret, honestly.

But in case you DON'T die:
If I see any booze, I'll barter you something for it. Maybe.
Try not to keel over from withdrawals before I can cash out.

[cheapbastard]

barter with me?
really now
what makes you think i wouldn't just take it?

[shadysided]

Because I'll more than happily smash it on the ground in front of you if you try.

It'd be cathartic, even.

[cheapbastard]

you're a little shit, ain't you?

[shadysided]

Sure am.

Guess that makes you a big shit, right?

[cheapbastard]

oh i'm definitely a big shit
the biggest.

[shadysided]

Well, hopefully you'll fit right in here.

I'm sure there's plenty of assholes around you can relate to.

[cheapbastard]

seems like i found one right here

[shadysided]

Wow, what a nice club.
SO happy to be a member.

[cheapbastard]

hey, you can even be the fuckin vice president if you want
i'm very giving

[shadysided]

Gee, thanks. Don't think that means any booze I find will be free, though old man.

Or I'm assuming your old.

Only old people and serial killers from movies use names like 'Butcher'.

[cheapbastard]

it's my fuckin' last name
legitimately
you makin' fun of my name?

[shadysided]

Depends, are you someone who gets super bent out of shape about that kind of thing?

[cheapbastard]

nah.
i'll just think you're very wrong.

[shadysided]

In that case, yes, I'm making fun of your name.

[cheapbastard]

and i think you're very wrong
extremely wrong
what's your name, then?