Video | UN: Newt | birthdays and piano lessons, baby

[groupiedrifter]

Hey howdy hey, this is a load of bullshit!

[A triumphant return to the network! One that does not involve being in a hospital bed! He's instead sitting at an old piano in the saloon and is mindlessly running his fingers along the keys, just before he starts playing something he's perfected as 'old timey rapscallion music'.]

Important note 1.A: it is — in fact — my birthday. [He starts playing 'happy birthday', of course.] I refuse to tell you my age now, it's officially one year too old. I'm gonna be one of those sugar daddies that never reveals his age, even when he's old and gray and has enough wrinkles to transform Cybertronian-style into a Shar-Pei — "你好!" to one of my favorite dog breeds.

Important note 1.B: Please don't make me a cake out of snake. I don't want a snake cake. I will throw up on you if you try to feed me a snake cake. I'm about to cry just thinking about the amount of tiny bones I would be pulling out of that abomination. I won't allow it. [A pause.] It's an interesting concept, though. [Another pause.] No, no, I won't allow it.

Important note 2!

[He touches the lip of the piano lid.]

Lemme teach some of you how to play piano! We're stuck here regardless, so if you guys wanna learn something new with your downtime, I'm more than happy to teach it. My dad taught it to me, but I'm not sure I'd ever have kids, so you guys have to be the kids I pass it on to. Honorary Geiszler child! Who wouldn't want such a prestigious surname?

[As the feed ends, Newt's voice quietly whines:]

... I miss real food...

Comments

Video | Un: Yeehaw

[spacedisaster]

If anybody gets you a Snake B-day cake, I vote that you burn it on the spot.

[ GROSSSSSS, as anything involving snakes always is. ]

Congrats on your big day, Newt, you don't look a day over fifteen. I could get you a b-day hooker? Less bones to deal with.

[ Get it? Since the townsfolk here might be made of ash or something. Eyyyy. ]

Video

[groupiedrifter]

You know... as much as I had a great time with the gals earlier this month, I think I'm all tapped out on weird spaced-out citizens.

[He's also kind of tired, but that probably has to do with the fact that they're, like... slowly starving? Somehow? He's trying to wrap his mind around the fact that they can consume food here and still completely lack in calories. Super sucks.]

But I appreciate it, man! Maybe just a beer and a game of poker would be nicer tonight.

voice; un: finn

[hatejakku]

Absolutely no one mentioned snake cake.

[ Why is that image in his head now? Oh, WOW, he hates it. ]

Want me to tie two together? Make it look like a bow or something?

[ Okay, now he's just fucking with you for revenge. ]

voice;

[groupiedrifter]

Oh, hardy har! Very funny.

I thought I was supposed to be the jokester around here?

...

I mean, but the snake cake, though. It's an interesting visual.

Maybe we could use the empty calorie food to make a cool looking snake-shaped cake.

video (un: major.yzak.jule)

[coordination]

A cake... out of snake...

[ ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING. It's even worse that it rhymes.

After that distaste leaves his voice, he's only on video because he wishes to be polite and do this right. ]

Happy birthday. Circumstances as fucking strange as they are.

video

[groupiedrifter]

Snake cake.

[He corrects it promptly.]

And thanks man, that's really all I need. A nice 'happy birthday' said by a friend! And maybe someone telling me I'm really smart and cool and handsome and talented.

Voice; un: belova

[laviny]

What if the cake just looks like a snake. Like on those baking contest shows?

voice;

[groupiedrifter]

... Yelena, do you think for even one second I would trust any of you to not lie to my beautiful face and say the snake-shaped cake isn't really made out of snake?

text; un: mafioso

[essenceofdeadlybeasts]

Re: 1.B. I mean, I could... if you're curious enough. :)

text;

[groupiedrifter]

Nooooo NOOOOOO!!!!

Stop trying to lure me into eating snakes for my birthday!
I won't stand for it!!




But a snake-shaped cake, though.

Young me would have SCREAMED in unbridled joy.

audio: un: goodvibes

[aurable]

If you had an alt-mode it'd be a Geiger counter, not an animal.

[ a beat ]

And happy birthday.

audio

[groupiedrifter]

... You really won't give me a cooler form, huh?

But thanks, you funky little cyber-man. Does your species go for birthdays?

You're all so elderly and cranky, I imagine it gets old after a while.

voice | un: m.cabrera

[naloxone]

[ while she can definitely commiserate with his first sentiment, she's glad to still see him in good spirits. she's glad to see anyone in good spirits, honestly. ]

Happy Birthday, conejito. I don't know if I'd be a very good student, especially now, but do you have any other birthday wish?

voice

[groupiedrifter]

... Does conejito mean 'cool and popular and smart'?

[He knows it can't possibly be that, of course, but it's worth a try.]

I don't know, man. If I'm honest, I haven't really celebrated a birthday in years. I think I'm really rusty at it now.

audio; un: doctor.disco

[attackbrows]

[For a message so non-errant in nature, this still manages to feel like a personal attack.]

Is that all for you, sugar daddy? I thought an old codger like yourself would have a little more party in you.

audio;

[groupiedrifter]

Hey, there's not even any decent cake around, doc! How am I supposed to party without cake? Don't even get me started on the lack of streamers and animal-themed gift-wrap paper.

... Besides, everyone seems stressed out.

A birthday is the last thing on anyone's mind right now.

video - un: fullmetal

[chrysology]

Happy birthday, old man!

[Newt is not all that old. But that is comparable to the likes of Ed at fifteen, soon to be sixteen though. So to Ed, yeah. This is his birthday greeting, as Ed chuckles about the idea of a snake cake and makes a face.]

You rather I make you a cake from my leather boot? But really. I know this place is. Maybe not ideal to celebrate, but maybe once we get back to the station? No idea on how good I would be with piano.

video

[groupiedrifter]

[ ]

Hey hey hey, I'm young in spirit! You can't call someone old if they're young in spirit!

You ever try your hand at piano, kid?

Or is there some other instrument that calls to you?

[droide]

Wonderful. You've found yet another way to make the discordant noise you call "music."

[ She says, as if she hasn't enabled his musical pursuits before. ]

Happy life day, Newt, you noisy little man. I don't see why your cake can't be made of the local stuff. It's not as though cake is traditionally nutritious. Then again, I'm no expert on food.

[groupiedrifter]

Aw, life day. That's actually super cute sounding; maybe I'll start adopting that myself. It's great to be alive and totally not dead! Evaded 'Death Day' yet again! [He's very much excited by this, thank you.] The whole point of eating bad food is that it's one benefit is tasting delicious. Nobody likes sweets that tastes like cardboard!

And hey, you know piano sounds nice. It's super pleasant!

video; un: stargirl

[bossily]

[Birthdays are always strange things. Hers had come and passed so shortly after her arriving back from living out the rest of her life back home. But she isn't sure if that birthday even counts. Or how time here really works.

But still, she's always up for celebrating any aspect of Newt. He deserves to have a wonderful day. So she's wearing a genuine little smile.]

I always wanted to learn how to play.

video;

[groupiedrifter]

[He brightens immediately; you can practically see his eyes twinkling.

A cartoon character in a past life, right here.]

You mean it? You better not be pulling my leg!

[The thought of teaching not just anyone one of his passions, but a dear friend? He's over the moon if he can get even just one person to hop on the bench and learn some notes.]

vid; un: ACE

[doze]

( even though it's video, it's just the sky. very obviously being shown from the perspective of someone laying down. occasionally dust blows across. )

Don't talk about food.

( he's so hungry. )

Happy birthday, though. Cookie pizza on me when we get back on the ship.

vid;

[groupiedrifter]

Ugh, don't remind me! I'm yearning for cookie pizza like crazy.

... You okay? You're not, like, dying from heatstroke somewhere, are you?

#justninjathings

[blackfire]

（ he doesn't especially care about birthdays. they were not much of a celebratory event for him in his youth, save the deal he made of sasuke's — his own he preferred pass largely unremarked (though he could count on his mother making his favourite food, and his father clapping him warmly on the shoulder in what passed for a hug in their household) but the people here are not the people of konoha.

finding out where newt is spending his time is easy enough. finding out which room he's staying in is equally as simple — and from there it's just a matter of leaving a plate of dango on his desk.

hey, it's mostly just rice flour and water — the former of which he'd troubled himself to bring a few cups along, the latter is in rich supply here. he'd already cut the sugar into the flour, so while they aren't perfect, they're at least sweet and edible.

is he going to stick around to Endure Gratitude, though? absolutely the fuck not, goodbye. ）

gracias itachi-chwan

[groupiedrifter]

audio; un: nightmoves

[ruinously]

You can teach me. I've got nothing but time.

audio;

[groupiedrifter]

What a coincidence, I've got oodles and oodles of time!

And someone like me, that's a dangerous thing. I get all wound up! So get that lily white ass over here and lemme teach you some piano, dude.

voice; un: clarke

[romancekiller]

You know, that's probably just going to encourage people to attempt making a snake cake, right? But anyway, happy birthday.

I've never really tried doing anything musical before but I wouldn't mind learning to play the piano since you're offering.

voice;

[groupiedrifter]

Thanks. And... yeah, I fully admit, it'll probably be my fault now if a snake cake happens.

You never thought about it before?