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video; un: lanxichen | after everything crashes around them
[there's a few beats of silence before he speaks on the network, a steadying breath can be heard before lan xichen speaks. he looks down as he speaks, brows furrowed and his normal gentle smile is nowhere to be seen. if someone were to say he looks haunted, theyโre not far off.] I -- What has happened is my responsibility. The sudden collapse of what we were experiencing here.
I spoke with Ford Branson to try to learn more about the town and pressed too far. He spoke about his family mostly and how much he loved this town. Speaking to him, I do not think he made a deal with the Orb... [a pause, a deep breath and when he speaks, his voice is a little more hollow and frayed.]. Not knowingly.
But I think what happened here is tied to his love for his family.
While we were talking, he clutched a locket which contained photos of his family and called it his most prized treasure. That the locket kept them safe, even when he spent all his time in the mines.
Perhaps the locket is the Orb itself or it is otherwise with him. Andโ and I donโt know if it was merely nervousness or self-soothing, but as he grew more distressed he spoke to himself. Almost a conversation where the other side kept telling him nothing happened and that it would be alrightโฆ Until the end when he called for it to stop and ran.
Then everything froze.
What triggered him was asking about pulsefire. He told me that pulsefire is used to clean out towns by bandits, who are looking for treasure. It leaves nothing living behind. [he visibly shudders here, pausing as if pulled into a memory before shaking his head to clear it. when he speaks again, his voice is steadier, barely, but lacks its normal air of calm.] Bandits use to clear trouble, leave treasures. But Fordโs treasures were livingโฆ
I spoke with Ford Branson to try to learn more about the town and pressed too far. He spoke about his family mostly and how much he loved this town. Speaking to him, I do not think he made a deal with the Orb... [a pause, a deep breath and when he speaks, his voice is a little more hollow and frayed.]. Not knowingly.
But I think what happened here is tied to his love for his family.
While we were talking, he clutched a locket which contained photos of his family and called it his most prized treasure. That the locket kept them safe, even when he spent all his time in the mines.
Perhaps the locket is the Orb itself or it is otherwise with him. Andโ and I donโt know if it was merely nervousness or self-soothing, but as he grew more distressed he spoke to himself. Almost a conversation where the other side kept telling him nothing happened and that it would be alrightโฆ Until the end when he called for it to stop and ran.
Then everything froze.
What triggered him was asking about pulsefire. He told me that pulsefire is used to clean out towns by bandits, who are looking for treasure. It leaves nothing living behind. [he visibly shudders here, pausing as if pulled into a memory before shaking his head to clear it. when he speaks again, his voice is steadier, barely, but lacks its normal air of calm.] Bandits use to clear trouble, leave treasures. But Fordโs treasures were livingโฆ
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[ Actually doing something about a situation is better than any kind words can dish out. But kind words aren't all that bad either. ]
I'm coming to you.
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[ Ugh. He switches to private. ]
This isn't your fault. You know that, right? This was always going to happen.
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[it's all too close to home.]
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[ But he can see how this has become a personal matter, and there aren't many words that can ease that sort of thing. ]
I'm sorry... about the past. And I'm sorry about now. But just because you tried to fix it doesn't mean it's your fault for it getting broken.
You're one of the calmest, most collected people I've met. If you couldn't ease him down, I'm not sure it could have been done.
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so xichen keeps quiet on the first point.
and actually as finn speaks because this all hits too close to wounds torn open but unrelated to this matter altogether.] If we were not undercover, perhaps I could have done something. Played Clarity to calm him down.
[does he sound more panicked? yep. but he takes a deep breath, then another. when he speaks again his voice is more even but that's probably not a good thing either.] I know it is not logical.
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It's okay that it's not. It doesn't need to be. [ Logical, that is. Emotions aren't logical most of the time. ]
But focusing on what could have been won't help. All we can do is deal with what is.
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You are right, Finn. [he doesn't sound like he fully believes it still, but hey! he'd joked. that's progress, right?]
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It is. [ Bullshit. This mission. It blows. ] Do you... still want to be alone?
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while the other cannot see it, he does shake his head.] No. Company would be appreciated. [there. honesty, not side-stepping the truth has he usually does.]
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I'll be right there.
[ With a hug in tow. ]
> action
true to his word, xichen stands leaning against the frame of the remnants of the barn; a shoulder pressed firmly against it, arms crossed over his chest. earlier in the mission, he may have stood more relaxed against the frame but his spine is straight an filled with tensions.
he's kept his eyes closed but when he hears finn approach, he opens them and offers him a soft smile that does not reach his them.] You were swift.
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[ His friend's in need. He's going to be swift.
Once Finn's close enough, he crosses his arms in front of himself, almost like they're wrapping around him against the cold air. And now that he's here, he doesn't know how to help other than just being here. ]
I, uh-... I don't suppose you want a hug?
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oh.
a hug.] I--- [he cannot remember the last hug he received that was not a result of someone comforting him over nightmares. which is awful for someone who does truly appreciate the comfort of touch, despite what the precepts teach.
he chuckles softly, pushing himself a little awkwardly away from the wall.] I would like a hug.
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His smile becomes warming and more relieved when Xichen accepts his offer. Finn steps forward and, without any further ado, immediately wraps him in a tight hug.
Sorry, Xichen. Finn's a little on the short side compared to you. ]
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finn's smile is warm and so xichen cannot help the way his own lips turn upward. he has missed this, the warmth and easy sort of touch between friends. hugs are a rarity in most situations back home.
so his arms wrap around finn as well, quick to do so. perhaps surprisingly so. finn is smaller than meng yao, yes, but that means the hug doesn't do much to remind him of him. his mind doesn't linger on the comparison.] I-- thank you. I have not been hugged in a while. [but he needed this.]
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Any time.
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