audio; un: Sabriel.Abhorsen

[bindsthedead]

This is Sabriel. Xichen, Alina, Rhys and I did some investigating, and I'd like to share what we found, along with my own thoughts.

We know that Entr'i has an orb, and wishes to merge Taeum and Sedorum... and frankly, I think that really is the best course of action. My suggestion is that we offer our assistance in that goal, in exchange for the orb. It's a strategy we've employed successfully in the past, and to be honest- I want to help Entr'i anyway. Unlike everyone else in charge, she seems to care about people, regardless of whether they're in Taeum or Sedorum.

[Entr'i has the cause that Sabriel sees as the most just, and is the person most concerned with justice that she's met in this world. The Highest One seems most concerned with their own sanctimony, and as for 'Him', well...]

There is a problem though. Xichen, Alina, Rhys and myself worked together- Xichen and I spoke to Entr'i, and Alina and Rhys tailed V'rizz. We wanted to learn more of Him and the Highest One.

What we found is that the oldest memory of either of them dates back to little over a hundred years ago- there are no souls who have been in either realm longer than that, and any older souls have since moved on. There is no memory or record extending past that, and it's possible that neither realm is as ancient as they seem- orbs are involved, after all.

But what's worse- V'rizz and He are planning to betray Entr'i. From what was overheard... Entr'i and the Highest Ones both have orbs, though they called them 'amulets'. The reason Entr'i was forbidden from killing the Highest One was because He didn't want her to have the entire orb and become too powerful. So they're planning on waiting until Entr'i kills the highest one and collects- and then kill her while she's weakened, so He can have both. Obviously, we warned her about this- Entr'i's the only person in this world who I'd trust to hold an Orb- the Highest One is a hypocrite who doesn't care about people suffering, and 'He' is no better.

Let me repeat- we have warned Entr'i about this and offered our help. Let's trust her to act as she deems best with that information.

[And oocly, see what the mods say in response to the followup search request.]

Of course, that also raises the question of how to collect both orbs and get back to the station. If we side with Entr'i, given her plan seems to involve obtaining both orbs, we could request both in exchange for helping her, taking them back with us after her bargain is concluded.

However, we don't know what Entr'i's bargain is- Entr'i does not seem the sort to use innocents as collateral, and she's not displaying any of the symptoms So'Yeon did in Gyeonje, so I don't think she's using herself as a sacrifice either. I suspect her wish is to merge Taeum and Sedorum, I just don't know how how she's planning to pay for it.

[Sabriel actually has her own theory about Entr'i's bargain- one she'll supply if asked, but it's too optimistic to voice. Besides, there's still another person with an orb- one far less benevolent than Entr'i

There's a long moment of silent hesitation, as Sabriel remembers the previous mission, the way everything had fallen apart, the town dissolving to nothing but ruins and death, pervaded by a cold that stuck to her bones, even in the heat of the day. And she thinks of Gyeonje, of people twisted into monsters, slowly losing their minds because of one man's selfishness.]

I have no evidence either way, so what follows is purely speculation, but if this 'Highest One' made a bargain with the orb to create Taeum's present state, it is possible that there was a condition that souls from Sedorum, or perhaps simply that 'sinners' not be allowed in.

[This could explain the absolute refusal to compromise, in any way. Or they're just a bunch of hypocritical snobs. Really, Sabriel could believe either, given everything she's heard.]

It is also possible that the Highest One is somehow using Taeum's inhabitants as payment- as the ruler of that realm, the orb would consider the denizens theirs to bargain with. The problem with that theory is that there's no clear sign of that happening- no crewmember in Taeum has reported people disappearing, unless Taeum's 'quick return to the Giva' is really a cover for something more sinister.

But regardless of what bargain the Highest One made, we need to get that orb, along with Entr'i's, and there are multiple ways we might do so.

Simply stealing it is off the table, as we learned in Braccia that physical possession of the orb is not enough, unless we want to play keep-away while they chase us until they give up, or hope that the Highest one is actually far more reasonable than we've been led to believe and we can reason with them.

[So not really an option, unless the crew is feeling either wildly optimistic or incredibly masochistic.]

We might also try to understand the bargain made, and use some clause in it to end it- this is what we did during the last mission, albeit unintentionally. Except we don't know for sure what bargain was made with the orb, or what the cost was, so this method is also unlikely to work.

The final possibility is we help Entr'i do what she wants, and kill the Highest One. One problem with this, as seen from the mission in Braccia, is that owners of the orbs can be incredibly powerful- we would need to send our strongest, and it might not be enough. And I know some of you object to killing, but this isn't someone like Welford Branson, an innocent who made a bargain he didn't fully understand out of grief- this is someone even worse than Cheruvia, someone who's been maintaining an unjust system even when given the chance to reform it. We just need to keep Entr'i safe in the aftermath, and make sure V'rizz and his master don't lay their hands on the orb. I think this option has the best chance of success, and is the one I support.

[Mostly because Sabriel likes Entr'i, and has little love for the powers of both Sedorum and Taeum. The fact that it also seems the most likely to result in mission success is a happy bonus.]

So, to summarize all that, I think we should help Entr'i kill the Highest One, collect both orbs and merge Taeum and Sedorum, and make sure the forces on either side don't try to stop or sabotage her.

[ooc: feel free to threadjack, if you want!]

Comments

[cruelyethuman]

[He keeps to sending his voice through the network, instead of hiding the calm neutrality of short written messages. His soft exhales are all take comes through for a minute.

A wait, as her words work themselves through him.

Wouldn't he? Wouldn't it be just want he always wanted, to find one just like him to rule with, to have her see what he sees and agree. To hold the hand of another, and know that he would not be rejected, was not risking a rock to the head or the freezing waters?

Someone with her own ideas, her own promises tattooed to her heart, her own secrets that he will never be allowed to know. Someone hidden, someone strong.]

Sabriel thinks that killing is the only way. I've already volunteered to bind the Highest One, to trap him and find a solution that does not require our judgement nor our interference.

Because it will not be one murder. V'rizz and Him will not stand for this, and now we're killing three people. How many more before the scales tip?

[Circular arguments, and circular words. Boiling down to - why were you ready to kill yourself for a girl you didn't know, why are you willing to murder for stranger, when our people are still suffering?

Why them?]

I can't stop you, any of you, if this is the stand you take. I cannot judge you, Alina, and I would never look away. But be sure that your trust isn't misplaced, because we would be handing a very powerful weapon to a woman who already made a deal.

[peasant]

[ deliberately, she doesn't make the same shift to voice, yet. there's something safer in sharing her truths behind the shield of a written word — vulnerable, without twisting the knife in completely. even then, a pause ticks by, half-tempted to insist he hasn't fully denied her claim.

finally, after a handful of minutes: ]

how many of us were in the room with cheruvia on braccia? and she was still stronger than all of us combined.
we wouldn't have a group imprisoned if binding the highest one was all it took.
that's a suicide mission. it won't work. are you trying to add your death onto the pile?
i know you're used to being the most powerful person in a room, but that's not the case anymore.

[ — that feels safer, too. skirting around the scars and scabs she's drawn too much attention to, brushing past what feels personal and vulnerable as long as she can. but, eventually, she wears herself down to the heart of the matter. ]

i'm tired
of doubting myself. of questioning whether people try to grow close to me only because they see someone they can use
of expecting that everyone must have an ulterior motive, and never knowing if i can trust someone including myself
especially myself, sometimes

i want to be able to believe that people can be good
i want to be able to trust she is as good as the people of sedorum believe she is
i'm putting my trust in that.

if i'm wrong about her, then you can give me a lecture when the time comes
i'll even limit myself to one eyeroll during it

[cruelyethuman]

I won't know if I am or not, if I don't try. Worried about me, Alina?

[A dig, unnecessary and childish, but he finds that he wants to know anyway. Wants to know if she's really worried for his safety, when she had been so willing to kill him herself not that long ago. If the tether that pulls so insistingly at him, is hooked as deeply inside her, as it is in him.

That he isn't alone.]

Only one eye-roll? How very generous of you. [He's long past telling her that this too will pass. That she will work through being tired, to being bored. With war, with killings, with watching everyone she meets die, turning to dust while they alone keep going.

In the world that awaits him, she might not be born. She will never be this, unless the Making is feeling generous. He snorts, exhausted and numb, the whole mission hanging on the words of the people he would sacrifice in the blink of an eye. And on Alina, who could have been everything, but she made a different choice.

One he hadn't contemplated in centuries.] For you, I will hope for the same.

[And prepare for the eventual outcome of betrayal and broken bodies on the ground.]

[peasant]

more worried than you are about yourself, apparently.

[ it's hardly a direct answer. but something in his tone, the phrasing of it — it makes her feel childishly foolish for being concerned for him at all. like a stinging slap delivered to her, for daring to care.

unseen, she steels her jaw, grits her teeth. it's too late now to wish and will the words back to her, rather than leave them in his hands to do as he will (mock her, alina assumes, readying herself for it. isn't he already? for you, i will hope for the same. some part of her thinks he would only take pleausre in finding that her choice might prove misguided enough to blow up in her face). ]

did you reply to me just to berate me and make me feel like horseshit?
because i've had quite enough of that lately from other people, thank you. i don't need it from you too.

[cruelyethuman]

Apparently.

[I know what you need, but he keeps it to himself. Locks the words behind his lips, swallowing past the want. To ask, to plead for an explanation. To hear it from her, but he doesn't want to read it.

He wants - and wants, and wants, something sick and twisted that spirals through every one of his words. Behind every action, or inaction. Behind the plots and plans that he makes, it twists.]

Maybe I was worried about you.

[peasant]

[ tentative silence radiates from her end, staggered into speechlessness. because you don't believe in me, some wounded, frothing part of her wants to spit. because you never have believed in me. he'd possessed so little faith in her that he had pushed her onto a path of his own making, after all, without ever wanting her to stray from his plans. his ideas. his strategies.

so little room left for her own. so little opportunity for her voice to be heard.

but there's a vulnerable part of her that pauses, perhaps more hopeful than it should be that his worrying over her is born from something else. something more. hadn't he said it before? there is no me without you.

it's split-second impulsiveness that has her moving to match him, flipping on the voice function. when her words filter through, she does sound as she'd claimed: exhausted, worn close to the bone. ]

Fine. I am more than apparently worried about you. Is that a crime, you upryamyy staryy kozel?

[ it should be. a crime against mal, against ravka, for her inability to stay away from aleksander. some selfish sin she's committed, time and time again. she swallows around the lump of guilt that begins forming in her throat. ]

You're worried because you think Entr'i is taking advantage of my trust. [ a heartbeat drums by, before she dares to ask: ] Or is it because you think something terrible will happen to me?

[cruelyethuman]

Would it stop you, even if it was, sladost.

[Petty, another dig because she was too right all too often these days. The parts of him that she could see, that no one else had ever seen - not in context. She had looked at him while he looked back with the eyes and the understanding of a small child and she had held his hand.

She had seen him strangle a city of thousands and she had seen him weep, frozen and shivering, as hope died in his veins. And past that, to the too-human heart that still beat inside his chest, she had seen it. Had felt it, in his passionate embrace and in the lingering kisses he had trailed down her back while she slept.

She had been the greatest weapon he had ever seen and somewhere between watching her watch the world and her first kiss, he had slipped up and let her in. Or perhaps fate was to blame, for the worry, for the warmth and for the clinging way his fingers founds hers in the dark.]

Don't leave me alone.

[peasant]

[ she snorts, a mixture of annoyance — and the slightest hint of fondness she can't fully hide. ]

No, it wouldn't. [ headstrong as always, something stubborn lacquers her voice. ] If you called it a crime, it would do even less to stop me.

[ it's no secret, really, that his orders only ever make her want to dig her heels in. but there's too much vulnerability in the one that follows, ringing too close to a little boy's loneliness in the middle of the woods. a shared fear that lives inside the murky depths of her, too: don't leave me.

some of her irritation abates, softens into something she doesn't know how to explain. doesn't know the name for. ]

If I promise to come back to you in one piece, will you choose to believe me?

[cruelyethuman]

I am not surprised.

[That any order would have her run, not walk, in to defiance. That his words would spark another rebellion in her. It seems to be the way of things between them, he asks and she refuses when it suits her.

What ends she might seek, when his station and his Small Science had done nothing to entice her in Ravka, he doesn't know. Doesn't want to guess at what ends she sees when she looks at him in the low lights of the barracks.

His voice is warm, and he hates how it intimate it sounds through this network.]

Yes.

[As foolish as it is, he does. Believe. In her promise and in her, in the power that hums underneath her skin and the destiny she still carries. And he has no other choice...]

Don't make me regret it, Alina.

[peasant]

[ she doesn't have to speak for her surprise to make itself known, to reveal she had been bracing for another answer altogether. her silence echoes between them like an empty corridor, suddenly bereft and barren of the anger she had sharpened in preparation for his inevitable no.

only for a yes to rest in its place instead, warmly given without a fight. truthfully, she doesn't know what to do with his belief in her — not when she has grown so used to it not existing. not when his faith has always seemed so lacking. ]

It sounds like you're expecting to regret it.

[ there's a small bite to it that can't be helped. like she doesn't quite know what to do with all of the defensiveness she had gathered, only to be proven wrong in her own assumption.

she sucks in a wobbling breath to steady herself. misplaced or not, it doesn't change the truth. don't make me regret it. why else track that on, if he was not expecting her to? if anyone should be speaking that warning — don't make me regret it — alina sourly thinks to herself that it should be her. ]

You won't. [ a stubborn conviction forges itself into those two words, iron-wrought. sturdy. solid. a declaration that sounds defiant of his expectations, some rebellious determination that swells inside of her. ] It's a promise, then. I will come back to you, and when I do, I'll make sure to say I told you so.

[cruelyethuman]

I am braced for the possibility.

[Too used to relying on only himself, to let his trust slip too easily. Too used to being alone, and liking it, to let her in. Despite all of his nightmares, the betrayals she's already leveled at him months and months ago, and despite the gnawing thoughts of resentment that lingers in the connection between them - he does trust her.

He doesn't want to.

She should be nothing, now. Just an insignificant reminder of a life not lived, but she isn't. She's managed to worm her way in, far deeper than any who came before her and his exhale echoes down the network.]

Come back, Alina, and tell me to my face.

[She kept her promise, once. She stayed in Scorpion's Bend, all of their nights and all of their mornings, with her face being the first sight he saw every day as the suns rose across the distant horizon. With his arms wrapped around her waist, she kept it.

He leans in to that promise now, eyes growing distant as he watches the preparations taking place in the barracks.]

Goodbye.