Video | UN: Newt | cw: talk of technical self-harm (to stop a possession)

[groupiedrifter]

... For the record, I'm claiming this infirmary bed officially. Like, I'm gonna put my name on it.

'Reserved: Newton Geiszler'. I'm gonna live in it. I'm gonna visit it for vacations.

[Okay, yes, Newton is slumped in an infirmary bed, propped up by pillows and looking a little guilty.]

So, like. I think a lot of us were under the influence of... whatever the fuck that orb was up to. Evil little bastard, huh? The whole... 'tormenting us with our own fears' thing? Not a fan. Hated it. Hated how easily it screwed with all of us. The point is, uh — take it from someone who knows what it's like to hurt people against your will: it's not... um. It's not all your fault. If you didn't choose to do it, it wasn't you.

I'm still trying to come to terms with that, so I'm, like... a massive hypocrite. I know I'm a massive hypocrite, so you'd be preaching to the choir if you said any different. But it's true, right? We don't deserve to be manipulated against our will like puppets. It's screwed up to trigger us into things we wouldn't normally do.

These orbs, they're just... I don't know if there are any out there that are actually good.

Freaks me out about where anyone here ends up, dealing with them.

[He sighs.]

Um! Anyway.

I'm kind of stabbed right now. I did it to myself, technically, which is actually nice if you think about it, because that means nobody has to feel bad about being the one who stabbed me. I'll be here moping in this bed for a coupla days, maybe even more than necessary to bless the staff with my handsome face and impeccable manners. Hell, maybe eat some hospital Jell-O and annoy the hell out of my pals that're stuck in here with me... After a nap, 'cause I'm pooped.

[VOICE MESSAGES SENT TO ROSINANTE, LAN WANGJI, AND HERMANN

(... or spoken aloud and in person iiiif they're in the infirmary, too):]

... I'm really fucking sorry. It wasn't me.

I know I use that excuse a lot these days, but I swear, it wasn't.

[Sometimes you just turn to a fellow stab victim and apologize for being the one who caused the stabbing between all of y'all.]

Comments

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[groupiedrifter]

They can, yeah. They can influence all kinds of stuff.

[He's still, even months later, too sore to bring up what happened aboard the train to pretty much anyone new, but...]

Little pricks are totally spiteful. They feed off chaos and aren't ever actually that fair in anything they do... The only reason I even remotely trust their use around the ship is 'cause they're maintained. But I don't doubt they're still feeding on us every mission anyway, y'know?

It's what the stupid personal goals are for.

[drawsblood]

What do you mean? The goals are to feed them or to stop them feeding?

[groupiedrifter]

Honestly, I'm not 100% sure. No confirmation exactly. But based on what I've seen personally, it's my theory that in order for the orbs to maintain themselves in their technical contracts with us, they enforce goals that can be super fucking uncomfortable in order to be, like. Sated.

Sure, completing the goals are part of our deal to strengthen the power they're giving us, in order for us to undo our regrets... but I don't think that's all they're asking from us. The first mission I ever had, the goal given to me was to kill a monster.

Only, the monsters on that planet were actually just sick people who meant no harm.

... It's only by luck I failed at it by being a shitty combatant.

[drawsblood]

[ He lets out a brief grunt that at first seems like the only answer he'll give. To him, it seems more than enough. It's a displeased sound and he's terrible at expressing himself, so this is usually as good as it gets. But after a moment he does add more. ]

This deal is less straightforward than I thought. What happens if we fail our goals? Are we set back, or does the amount of power we have remain unchanged until the next time we complete our goals?

[groupiedrifter]

I wish I knew for sure. They've been known to be kind of vague or tricky about some of the shit they pull out on missions. I'm pretty sure they follow a more uniformed, fair way of working aboard the station when they're combined, though.

['Pretty sure'.]

If we fail, it just means we'll get a little less power from them, I think.

But Viv and Degar probably know better than me. I'd be lying if I said I didn't kinda have a grudge against the thing powering our regret reversals.

[drawsblood]

Perhaps at this point, I shouldn't be surprised that things are never as simple as they sound.

[ Really, he just sounds accepting at this point. Defeated, but accepting. ]

So you stabbed yourself in order to prevent doing it to another. That sounds decently brave.

[groupiedrifter]

It'd be nice though, huh? If things were simple for once.

[Even the Kaiju War was so fucking complicated. Being in the heads of those monsters? Seeing that other world, with those genocidal maniacs? It had changed his perceptions in a startling, awful way.

He blinks, looking caught off-guard. It didn't really feel all that brave at the time; he was scared as shit, but.]

Yeah, well. Wish I'd been braver a little sooner...

I just know what it's like, to hurt people against your will.

Whatever I could do to avoid that, I'd do it.

[drawsblood]

[ Joric knows what that's like too, but he's not about to tell people about what's lurking inside him. It's being held back with medication at the moment, but he's thinking that the orb's power might be greater than medicine. He'll cross that bridge when he comes to it. ]

Should the same happen to me, I would hope I was in my right mind long enough to make a similar choice.

[ Normally he's not in his right mind so... it's wishful thinking on his part. ]

Will you make a full recovery?

[groupiedrifter]

[Newt waves a hand.]

Oh, yeah! Totally missed any internal organs or anything.

Turns out, being a pro at biological anatomy really came in clutch. You tend to know the right places to avoid fatally knicking your innards, which is cool. [He grins, looking a little loopy; maaaaybe he failed to mention he's got some rockin' pain meds handy right now.] I'm Newt, by the way! Dr. Newton Geiszler, resident xenobiologist rock star and total catch.

[Maybe he's being a little corny and dumb, but cut him some slack! He just stabbed himself!]

[drawsblood]

I was wondering if you knew not to strike a vital area or if you just guessed.

[ Beyond that, he has no idea what a xenobiologist is, nor a rock star. He knows what the latter words mean separately, but not together. ]

I am Joric.

[ Which is also his username. He's not very creative. ]

[groupiedrifter]

Joric! Nice to meet you, dude.

You can just call me Newt, the rest of it's whatever. I'd offer you some of my stash of rum, but I'm, y'know. Stuck in a bed with nurses and doctors who'd disapprove of liquor in the medical ward.

[... Mostly Marta. Marta would totally pull him by the ear.]

[drawsblood]

Seems backwards. It's good to get drunk when you're in pain.

[groupiedrifter]

I think so, too! See, we're on the same page.

... If you ever feel like practicing your smuggling skills...

[drawsblood]

[ He snorts. ]

I am far too large to be stealthy.

[groupiedrifter]

That's no way to think, man! So you're gonna have to hone those stealth skills; the missions sometimes call for that kinda thing.

[drawsblood]

I suppose I will need to train to be better. But don't expect much. I know my strengths and being quiet isn't one of them.

[groupiedrifter]

Oh boy. Is one of your talents smacking skulls together?

Because that's a big plus in this crew, from experience.

[drawsblood]

That would be an accurate description, yes.

At least I can contribute something. I take it your skills lie with science?

[groupiedrifter]

You got it! Which means I'm practically no good when it comes to fighting.

But I'm the guy you go to if you want upgrades to any tech or weaponry. Or if you've got some kind of weird sickness or infection... or if you need to figure out the anatomy of some weird monster. All kinds of stuff, really! I can make tools to disarm alarms, hack cameras, all that fun stuff.

[drawsblood]

I come from a place without this "technology" thing, so I don't know how much I would need your help there.

[ His condition is already being treated with medication and it's not something he wants to reveal to people anyway, so that's out too. ]

But you sound useful to others.

[groupiedrifter]

I try to be, yeah.

Being on a team means offering everything you can to that team, right?

For me, it's my big, beautiful brain.

[drawsblood]

[ Kind of weird to call a brain beautiful, but okay. ]

Yes. If you are dedicated to a cause, you would do all you can.

[ A pause. ]

I suppose I will turn to you if there is something I don't understand. The mission brief didn't take into account that I am still unused to all this technology.

[groupiedrifter]

Well, hey! If you ever need any help with that, my door's always open.

Just lay any questions you got on me, and I'll put my teaching credentials to the test.

[drawsblood]

I'll be sure to. For now, I shall let you rest.