text; un: newt

[groupiedrifter]

Important message, beep, beep, incoming!

[He adds a few vocalized beeps for emphasis.]

That mission was a load of anxiety and bullshit, but we managed by the skin of our asses, huh? I, for one, hated it, 0/10, would prefer fluffy marshmallow planets with 0 conflict and less post-mission guilt and depression. Which, if anyone needs a really good hug, I promise I give some of the best ones. I'm talking 5-star hugs. Or, I don't know. Someone to not talk about it to but just ignore it while we hang out. That too.

Anyway! I've ordered like 50 pizzas from Viv, so we're gonna have a pizza party in a couple days. Fuck it, we're gonna do this like we're in grade 5 and we've just earned a thousand reading points. I've got a bottle of hard stuff, I've got a speaker that works, and I even promise I'll turn it down. Sounds good? Mess hall??? Mess hall! Awesome! Great! Someone request lots of booze, we need booze. Well, not for the kids. How many kids do we even have? No beer for you!!

Did I have beer at your age? Of COURSE but I'm an adult now and I see all the times I couldve died in my youth.

What was I thinking again? Right. Party. Mess hall. We'll have tons of cold pizza left over for the night after, in case anyone (me) overdrinks again. I'm in desperate need of a deck of cards too if anyone wants to do some poker. Rosi!!! You said we'd do poker!!! I didn't just imagine that, did I???

Also, everyone under the age of like 25, turn away.

You turned away?

Too bad if you didn't, I'm gonna lock this from you.

[LOCKED TO 25+ HA!!!]

Also for the record, if anyone needs no strings attached hook-ups, feel free to hit me up; I seriously haven't done anything since the last ~year my planet started getting into 'oh fuck we might really all die' mode except for that one fun time in the broom closet at new years that was cool. I mean, if anyone wants! But no pressure, obvs! I dont really have any preferences or anything and maybe it's weird to craigslist my body here, just figured sexual beings gonna need sexual interaction and whatnot and why not offer it if anyone's cool with that or FWB or whatever, or heck if you just want to hang out and listen to some tunes in a bed, I've got 0 requirements - sorry anyway if you're interested hit me up thanks bye

[And then, because he can't seem to post without accidentally trailing off into accidental brain-barf:]

god that was probably weird, wasn't it? good job newton you sound like a creep

[OOC: Anything relating to sexual activity can absolutely be FTB or handwaved into a morning after thread after the fact! I don't have any stake in anything sexy being threaded out, I'm more invested in the CR formed by it. I linked my current log, and a closed starter or wildcard option there works for me! But feel free to take it to my inbox if you prefer, or even yours, we'll just mark appropriately in the subject lines.

And of course, if you wanna square away anything for those threads and plot out handwaved stuff, shoot me a PP on plurk at simpledog or via PM!

EDIT: The Pizza Party Mingle is also posted now!]

Comments

Text | UN: Syrlya

[chronosynthesis]

[Syr has no idea what's behind the mysterious age lock and, actually, he thinks he doesn't want to know.]

Do YOU need to talk about it?

Text

[groupiedrifter]

... Need to talk about what? Pizza? I could talk about pizza for hours if you'd let me. Pizza and alien biology, but I think both together might gross people out.

[Is he being obtuse or is he genuinely oblivious?

Honestly, it could go either way.]

text; un: s.wilson

[unclesam]

dude we're in space
you had the opportunity for a great joke and still only gave your hugs 5 stars

as for your party, I got some drinks from new orleans on order, good liquor included. good people, good grub and good drinks sounds like just the thing now.

I personally don't do casual, but hey man - good on you for communicating your needs. anytime you want a friend without those benefits, you feel free to hit me up, alright?

text

[groupiedrifter]

Hey now, five stars is a lot of hydrogen and helium and nuclear power, I doubt anyone can handle more than that. But I appreciate it, dude. The being a friend without those benefits. It's cool to have a surplus of you guys around for that, I mean. Not used to it. Which is shocking, I know. I have such a glowing personality. ;)

You know what sucks? After we all saved the planet back home, we had a party planned that night, but I went and got sucked into outer space before I could properly celebrate. What a load of crap, right? I should've been dancing around with mardi gras beads and beer cans in my hands!

text | un: Finn

[hatejakku]

I don't know what a pizza party is but it sounds like it involves pizza. I'm in.

[ Also, reading points? And why was he locked out of half of this message?? ]

I'm pretty good at hugs, too, if you need one.

text

[groupiedrifter]

Of course, pizza makes any situation better.
If I ever die on a mission, make sure everyone eats a shitload of pizza at my wake, okay?
Shoot me out into space with my own box of pizza.

You're a hug champion, though. Excellent. I'll cash in when I see you next. Might as well! In the meanwhile - you been taking care of the Jiminy Cricket bracelet I gave you in all that madness?

text; un: kaspbrak

[respirations]

I don't know if I'm much for parties these days. The last time I had a get together with my friends it turned into a real shit show so I might have to pass depending.

And, well

I don't have anything to offer for your other request since I
Well, I have someone.

( Which still felt weird to say not because he was embarrassed or wanted to hide Richie away but because it was still wild to consider. Besides with things still new for them and he wanted to take things well... easy and slow. )

But if you ever wanna hang out then I'm here for that.

text; private

[groupiedrifter]

Hey! Your get together wasn't a Newton Geiszler get together!
Totally different vibe. I'll make sure it's not a shit show. Pinky swear.

Either way, I'm down to hang out. I'll even bring a private bottle, if you end up avoiding the party. We've got that nailed down to a T.

But oh, what a coinky-diiink that you have someone!
Someone else said something pretty similar, just after you commented!
That's what we call 'drift synchronization' in action, amigo~ ;)

text (un: major.yzak.jule)

[coordination]

Of course you were serious about the pizza party.

text

[groupiedrifter]

Is there a reason you'd have thought otherwise, my good man????

text; un: trashmouth

[longoverdue]

did you seriously just use a parental lock??

hanging out’s fine by me. can’t offer you anything else tho, I happen to be with someone now. plus you’re not my type so. [Liar, he is your type. But this is a public setting and Richie hasn’t come out to these people, so.]

if you don’t manage to get anyone on the hook tho you can probably just jerk off to good old porn. gotta be some porn on this ship.

text;

[groupiedrifter]

You got something against my parental lock, Trashmouth???

Dude, you think I haven't at least fell back on porn the last year of my life? I'd be dead right now if I didn't have pornhub on my phone. But that's beside the point!!! Sex is boring by yourself!

[And Newton has a lot of issues with craving any form of attention and intimacy, because he's desperate to have some kind of touch in his life, but that's — y'know. Not appropriate 'ha-ha funny' conversations to have with people you don't know super well. Or... even with people who know you inside and out.]

But hey, congrats on having that someone!
Sorry about the loss of your bachelor lifestyle, but the law of equivalent exchange exists for a reason, right?

[He might... have a theory of who that 'someone' is Richie has.

Just maaaaybe.

But blabbing theories out loud is just poor manners, even for him, okay!]

text, un: silent

[callada]

It's Rosinante.

And no, you didn't imagine. I'm sure there must be cards stashed around this place somewhere, I'll see if I can scrounge them up.

text, un: silent

[groupiedrifter]

Dude I've been dreaming of a nice pleasant card game for WEEKS.

Why not Rosi? Not into nicknames? (●'◡'●)

[petsthedog]

[Okay so a pizza party is all very well and good (minus the 'party' part), but this teenager has to be Offended about something first:]

your definition of adult is over 25???

[this is so bogus hdu. sure he's technically a minor in Japan until he's 20 but sTILL. it's the principle of the thing]

[groupiedrifter]

My idea of an adult I'm open to getting frisky with is over 25.

I'm not big on age gaps, not really my schtick, no thanks.

So you get the parental lock, sorry champ!!! KIDDIE TABLE FOR YOU!

[you brought this upon yourself]

un: qishan

[silverneedles]

What are pizza parties?

[groupiedrifter]

oh my god you poor thing

How could you not know the wonderful world of pizza parties? Please tell me you've had pizza.

Pizza is so good. It's a crime to be deprived of it.

Text. UN: Kirigan

[cruelyethuman]

Why would you solicit strangers like this?

Text.

[groupiedrifter]

To get down and clown, sexually? How else do you solicit strangers?

1/2, private, text, un; dustywolf

[softmouth]

I can help make snacks and drinks and stuff. just volunteering in case things are harder than they seem or whatever. that sounds weird

I'm also used to babysitting intoxicated kids. sadly

2/2, private, text, un; dustywolf

[softmouth]

[It takes a few minutes to send this, but he manages it after a while.]

you didn't sound creepy. in the second part. even though I barely made the cut, age wise

text; un: k (sorry sorry sorry sorry)

[knived]

there's no way someone like you could give an enjoyable hug

text

[groupiedrifter]

Screw you, Kellogs, I give great hugs!

I bet you ten bucks I could give you an enjoyable hug!!

un: zee | text

[directrix]

How refreshingly direct.

[ A little desperate for her taste, maybe, but she likes forthright.

She has absolutely no comment on the rest of whatever that is. ]

text

[groupiedrifter]

Might as well be, right?
It's important to be honest about yourself!
It'll help you find people who feel the same.

un: song | text

[spoilers]

[ Does he know how young he sounds? Says the woman married to a 1000-year-old child. She finds it charming, though. ]

Well, I try never to miss a party.

I wouldn't worry too much, dear. You don't make it a very flattering offer, but I'd give you points for honesty.

text

[groupiedrifter]

Not very flattering, but hopefully a little flattering? 😤 A milliliters of flattering!!!

But I think I'd rather be honest than flattering.
Never really been my style to lie through my teeth about that kinda stuff, I guess.
Or maybe I did when I was younger, but you get tired of it

text; private

[bossily]

Congratulations, I think that might be the bluntest proposition I've ever received. I'm not sure how I feel having that and an invitation to a pizza party floating around in the same space.

I could use at least ten proper distractions after that mission though. So count me in on both accounts.

text; private

[groupiedrifter]

Sex + pizza is only the best beginning to a mathematical equation ever.

For real? You mean it? Don't you go teasing me!! I won't forgive it! 😳
And I'll revoke your hand-holding privileges!

[no he wont]