Video | welcome, hallo, buenos días, ohayō, etc, etc! | UN: Newt

[groupiedrifter]

[Newt comes shuffling into view on the screen, holding a cup of coffee in his hand with a bag of what seems to be Sour Patch Kids harrowingly hanging out from beneath the pinky finger of the very same hand. Disheveled but more than happy to provide his services after dragging himself out of bed, he taps his knuckle on the chalkboard beside him — one that used to be Hermann Gottlieb's, may he rest in peace (in a not dead way — may he rest in peace on a beach or something while wholly alive and thriving).]

Noticed an influx of new and kinda-new faces over the last few days or weeks or whatever.

So here's my handy dandy welcome board! Recently updated, to keep with the times.

Read it over and get a feel for how this place goes; I'm gonna finish off this coffee before I take any questions.

[As he takes the world's most obnoxious-sounding sip and burns his tongue, here's the board in question:]



[And then, after a bit of time, he turns the board over to the other side:]



[No worries, current crew, if you can't get one of those introduction papers in person!

Because he's attached them in file format, too.]



[And in case you wanted a text format copy:

Name:
Age:
Birthday:
Favorite color:
Favorite food:
Favorite subject:
Favorite toy:
Favorite animal:
Favorite candy:
Favorite activity:
Favorite place:
Favorite book:
Favorite TV show:
Favorite movie:
I am good at:
I want to learn:
Least favorite subject:
Place I want to go:
If I could make one wish, it would be:
If I could have one superpower, it would be:
This is what I want my teacher to know about me:

(Have at it — threadjacking is encouraged).]

Comments

[dispassioned]

[It's too bad amusement doesn't translate over text because he's definitely amused.]

No, I'm the one that owes you a meal.

[peasant]

that's true
i'm still waiting on you to deliver
🍳 🥘 🍲 🫕 🥣

[dispassioned]

Don't worry, it will be worth the wait.

[He's just a perfectionist, don't mind him.]

[peasant]

that's a bold claim to make from mister "i'm good at anything i want to be good at"

[dispassioned]

Is it? I would say it's being honest.

[Obviously if he's good at anything he wants to be, and wants to be good at cooking, then the cooking will be worth waiting for.]

[peasant]

[ reeking of humbleness, here. ]

oh, so you're mysteriously good at everything you try?

[dispassioned]

[Did she truly expect anything else?]

Not immediately. But I’m dedicated to getting good.

[peasant]

no one is good at ANYTHING and EVERYTHING
i think your ego is greatly exaggerating

[dispassioned]

But when did I say I was good at anything and everything?

[peasant]

now you're just trying fancy wordplay on me

[dispassioned]

Ah, maybe, but it's true. I know you're aware of some of the things I'm not good at.

[He has, in fact, even admitted some weaknesses to her.

However, he has also noticed her answers to the survey.]

I didn't realize our birthdays were so close together.

[Because it's never come up before, but guess who's filing away that bit of information now.]

[peasant]

you're not good at not being good at something.

[ nailed it. ]

It never had reason to come up, really.

[dispassioned]

[She has a point, though.]

Well, you're not wrong.

[It does bother him when he's not good at something he wants to be good at.]

Ah, that's true. I don't think about mine often.

[peasant]

you have months to start thinking about it now. newt likes to make a big deal out of them all.

[ rest in fucking pieces in that case, chishiya. you fell for newton's trap card. ]

[dispassioned]

Well, that’ll be a new experience.

[Which is to say he doesn’t think about it because no one else tends to. Newt can do what he wants with that information, how Chishiya reacts will depend on his mood when it happens.]

[peasant]

where's your excitement? it's free cake

[ priorities ... ]

[dispassioned]

[Hmm.]

What kind of cake?

[peasant]

[ what is the absurdity of this question. cake is cake. still: ]

any kind you want, i'd imagine.

[dispassioned]

[Look Newt seems to be American and Chishiya doesn't necessarily trust the American flavor palate in general.]

Hm. I'll think about it.

[peasant]

see to it that you do, or someone will pick a cake for you.

[dispassioned]

Oh? Someone like you?

[peasant]

i do have excellent taste in cakes, as you know.

[dispassioned]

Well, then it wouldn't be such a bad fate, would it?

[peasant]

[ he has a valid point. on the other hand, he's being annoyingly clever by throwing her words back at her. all she can muster is, ]

😠

[dispassioned]

[He can't help it that's just how he is.

And also this is what she's getting in response,]

😼