Video | welcome, hallo, buenos días, ohayō, etc, etc! | UN: Newt

[groupiedrifter]

[Newt comes shuffling into view on the screen, holding a cup of coffee in his hand with a bag of what seems to be Sour Patch Kids harrowingly hanging out from beneath the pinky finger of the very same hand. Disheveled but more than happy to provide his services after dragging himself out of bed, he taps his knuckle on the chalkboard beside him — one that used to be Hermann Gottlieb's, may he rest in peace (in a not dead way — may he rest in peace on a beach or something while wholly alive and thriving).]

Noticed an influx of new and kinda-new faces over the last few days or weeks or whatever.

So here's my handy dandy welcome board! Recently updated, to keep with the times.

Read it over and get a feel for how this place goes; I'm gonna finish off this coffee before I take any questions.

[As he takes the world's most obnoxious-sounding sip and burns his tongue, here's the board in question:]



[And then, after a bit of time, he turns the board over to the other side:]



[No worries, current crew, if you can't get one of those introduction papers in person!

Because he's attached them in file format, too.]



[And in case you wanted a text format copy:

Name:
Age:
Birthday:
Favorite color:
Favorite food:
Favorite subject:
Favorite toy:
Favorite animal:
Favorite candy:
Favorite activity:
Favorite place:
Favorite book:
Favorite TV show:
Favorite movie:
I am good at:
I want to learn:
Least favorite subject:
Place I want to go:
If I could make one wish, it would be:
If I could have one superpower, it would be:
This is what I want my teacher to know about me:

(Have at it — threadjacking is encouraged).]

Comments

[locumstudentesquire]

Um... Aren't magnets usually used to make things stick together, though?

[heroooic]

yeah, but…they push things apart too. Like…an airplane, into the sky. If you have a magnet on the airplane, and like, a magnet underneath it on a. Truck or something!

[locumstudentesquire]

OH! That's right! They do, don't they!

...Wait, remind me... A truck is a type of steam carriage, yes? Because then I think I see what you're saying. Someone would drive the carriage beneath the plane, and the repelling effect would make the plane fly?

[heroooic]

YES, exactly! It’s gotta be something like that…

[locumstudentesquire]

That makes some amount of sense, but... What if the aeroplane needs to go over some kind of obstacle that a carriage wouldn't be able to traverse? Like a large body of water, or... Any area without accessible roads, really.

[heroooic]

im not an engineer, dude. They’ll figure it out

[servesyouwright]

[ Bro, what even is this conversation. ]

Guys planes fly like birds fly. It's not that hard.

[heroooic]

that’s NOT true, birds flap their wings!!

[servesyouwright]

Have you watched a bird fly? They don't flap their while wings in the air. They just do that to lift. When they're flying they just glide through the air with their wings open.

[heroooic]

dude i dont know that much about how a bird works either

[servesyouwright]

[ And he sort of deflates. ]

Okay, fair enough. I mean, I don't really either. But they flap to lift, then they glide, if I understand correctly. Planes just go very fast to lift, then they glide.

[locumstudentesquire]

O-oh? Hm. I never considered that they might be able to move their wings like a bird can...

[servesyouwright]

No that's not it. You just need big enough wings and a plane can glide like a bird.

[locumstudentesquire]

But... But birds have to flap their wings to get up INTO the air before they can glide! They can't just glide straight from the ground!

[servesyouwright]

Yeah okay let me back up.

A plane needs the right size of wing and the right speed. With enough speed and the right angle on the wings it can lift off the ground and then it can glide like a bird. Or sort of like a bird. It still needs engines.

[locumstudentesquire]

...Alright, that... Makes a LITTLE more sense...

[Sort of. He'll admit. RELUCTANTLY.]

I've had the immense displeasure of experiencing first hand that there are civilizations out there in the universe which are advanced enough to create engines so powerful, they can launch a tin capsule full of unfortunate passengers from the surface of a planet into the cold void of space. So. I suppose it's not entirely unbelievable... That one could also make an engine fast enough to keep a hunk of properly angled metal suspended in the air.

[servesyouwright]

[ Wow, reluctantly? He's being a bro, here! ]

Oh yeah we can do that too. But by firsthand do you mean YOU actually got to fly in a rocket? Yeah no thank you.

[locumstudentesquire]

[The stubbornness runs in the family too, alas.]

You mean to tell me we have those abominations in the future in our world, too?

Glad to see we're at least on the same page about that. Yes, the last official mission we went on was around a federation encompassing multiple planets. We had to endure space travel in order to get between locations, and it was completely wretched, and I thought for sure I was going to die.

[servesyouwright]

[ Oh boy. ]

Okay, I'm really glad I missed that one. If I never have to experience that I'll be happy.

[locumstudentesquire]

If we're lucky, you won't have to.

[But don't count on it, maybe.]