Video | welcome, hallo, buenos días, ohayō, etc, etc! | UN: Newt

[groupiedrifter]

[Newt comes shuffling into view on the screen, holding a cup of coffee in his hand with a bag of what seems to be Sour Patch Kids harrowingly hanging out from beneath the pinky finger of the very same hand. Disheveled but more than happy to provide his services after dragging himself out of bed, he taps his knuckle on the chalkboard beside him — one that used to be Hermann Gottlieb's, may he rest in peace (in a not dead way — may he rest in peace on a beach or something while wholly alive and thriving).]

Noticed an influx of new and kinda-new faces over the last few days or weeks or whatever.

So here's my handy dandy welcome board! Recently updated, to keep with the times.

Read it over and get a feel for how this place goes; I'm gonna finish off this coffee before I take any questions.

[As he takes the world's most obnoxious-sounding sip and burns his tongue, here's the board in question:]



[And then, after a bit of time, he turns the board over to the other side:]



[No worries, current crew, if you can't get one of those introduction papers in person!

Because he's attached them in file format, too.]



[And in case you wanted a text format copy:

Name:
Age:
Birthday:
Favorite color:
Favorite food:
Favorite subject:
Favorite toy:
Favorite animal:
Favorite candy:
Favorite activity:
Favorite place:
Favorite book:
Favorite TV show:
Favorite movie:
I am good at:
I want to learn:
Least favorite subject:
Place I want to go:
If I could make one wish, it would be:
If I could have one superpower, it would be:
This is what I want my teacher to know about me:

(Have at it — threadjacking is encouraged).]

Comments

text.

[groupiedrifter]

I think there's totally a healthy level of derangement.

It's the key to great discovery!

[nO!]

[ananym]

For whom?

[groupiedrifter]

For everyone, Mr. ✨Fancy Pants✨.
All data is good data, might as well collect it just in case.
The worst you'll get out of it is someone giving you cake or helping you find something to do around the station before mission time.

[ananym]

So you've never committed a crime in the name of data?

[groupiedrifter]

Dude, I hate to break it to you, but we'll all be committing some form of crime almost every mission we go on.

We, like, break into places and ignore local laws and lie out of our assholes ALL the time to officials.

[ananym]

I have nothing against crime itself.

But I do not feel comfortable with data collection of any kind. I can see the logic in it, but I am also aware of its abuses.

[groupiedrifter]

Maaaan, if I were abusing my data, this crew would have shot me out of the airlock FOREVER ago instead of hanging out with me for snacks and movies. But you could always ask Viveca if I'm cool or not. She knows everything about me.

I don't think a basic activity form you'd find in children's schooling can be that insidious, tho.

[ananym]

I'm from the 1400s. And I can't imagine everyone hails from the same paths of life as you do.

[groupiedrifter]

Hey, you're the one who started this off on assumptions, pal.

Aren't you judging me based off the fact that this kinda stuff is totally normal where I hail from?

[ananym]

If you are the norm, then I am concerned for civilisation.

[groupiedrifter]

HA! Jokes on you, me and my pals back home saved our civilization!
I know my worth, dude, you can't bring me down.
And don't be surprised if I help save your ass later on one of these missions, you ol' sourpuss!

[ananym]

I find that highly unlikely.

[groupiedrifter]

Whatever you saaaaay. ♪