Video | welcome, hallo, buenos días, ohayō, etc, etc! | UN: Newt

[groupiedrifter]

[Newt comes shuffling into view on the screen, holding a cup of coffee in his hand with a bag of what seems to be Sour Patch Kids harrowingly hanging out from beneath the pinky finger of the very same hand. Disheveled but more than happy to provide his services after dragging himself out of bed, he taps his knuckle on the chalkboard beside him — one that used to be Hermann Gottlieb's, may he rest in peace (in a not dead way — may he rest in peace on a beach or something while wholly alive and thriving).]

Noticed an influx of new and kinda-new faces over the last few days or weeks or whatever.

So here's my handy dandy welcome board! Recently updated, to keep with the times.

Read it over and get a feel for how this place goes; I'm gonna finish off this coffee before I take any questions.

[As he takes the world's most obnoxious-sounding sip and burns his tongue, here's the board in question:]



[And then, after a bit of time, he turns the board over to the other side:]



[No worries, current crew, if you can't get one of those introduction papers in person!

Because he's attached them in file format, too.]



[And in case you wanted a text format copy:

Name:
Age:
Birthday:
Favorite color:
Favorite food:
Favorite subject:
Favorite toy:
Favorite animal:
Favorite candy:
Favorite activity:
Favorite place:
Favorite book:
Favorite TV show:
Favorite movie:
I am good at:
I want to learn:
Least favorite subject:
Place I want to go:
If I could make one wish, it would be:
If I could have one superpower, it would be:
This is what I want my teacher to know about me:

(Have at it — threadjacking is encouraged).]

Comments

[buckkeep]

( through gritted teeth — ) The pleasure is mine, Nikolai Lantsov.

Is that self-pity, or are you attempting to be funny again? You don't have the knowledge to make such claims about me.

[ravkas]

[ (─‿‿─) ]

don't i? you attacked me in broad daylight while i was peacefully enjoying my solitude. those aren't the actions of a righteous man. now that i know i can't trust a word you say, i might be inclined to believe you knew i was a king all along.
but no matter. i'll call on you for a favor when i need you, and trust that you'll be handsomely rewarded.

[buckkeep]

( after a too long wait, )

Do you really have a piebald pony, or did you say it to get a rise out of me?

[ravkas]

why would a piebald pony get a rise out of you?
punchline is very real. i'm always being told to ride something more regal but he has the steady disposition of a lump of rock and there aren't many reliable things in my life right now.

[buckkeep]

It wouldn't.

( it's better for nikolai to think that, at least, and fitz has already been obvious enough with the truth of himself to stop shearing off more and more layers. the truth? the piebalds are political radicals in the six duchies who seek revenge for the unfairly murdered witted ones. fitz might've joined them, if their attitude wasn't so if you aren't with us, you're against us, and if they didn't turn their pitchforks on their fellow man if a witted one refused the join the cause.

the piebald prince was an ancient ancestor of the farseer line, detailing the taint of wit magic within the royal bloodline. this was proven, when an idiot of a bastard let himself be found out as witted and thus murdered for it by stones and beatings. so — then. the real piebald prince is chivalry's bastard, fitzchivalry farseer, the man who was killed by the crown for the ugliness of his magic. an important historical figure, on the wrong side of history. )

You're smart not to bother with the sight of regality. Looks only get you so far, and not very far, at that. A steed that is loyal to you is far more important when the raiders come.
Til you need me, King Nikolai.