Video | welcome, hallo, buenos días, ohayō, etc, etc! | UN: Newt

[groupiedrifter]

[Newt comes shuffling into view on the screen, holding a cup of coffee in his hand with a bag of what seems to be Sour Patch Kids harrowingly hanging out from beneath the pinky finger of the very same hand. Disheveled but more than happy to provide his services after dragging himself out of bed, he taps his knuckle on the chalkboard beside him — one that used to be Hermann Gottlieb's, may he rest in peace (in a not dead way — may he rest in peace on a beach or something while wholly alive and thriving).]

Noticed an influx of new and kinda-new faces over the last few days or weeks or whatever.

So here's my handy dandy welcome board! Recently updated, to keep with the times.

Read it over and get a feel for how this place goes; I'm gonna finish off this coffee before I take any questions.

[As he takes the world's most obnoxious-sounding sip and burns his tongue, here's the board in question:]



[And then, after a bit of time, he turns the board over to the other side:]



[No worries, current crew, if you can't get one of those introduction papers in person!

Because he's attached them in file format, too.]



[And in case you wanted a text format copy:

Name:
Age:
Birthday:
Favorite color:
Favorite food:
Favorite subject:
Favorite toy:
Favorite animal:
Favorite candy:
Favorite activity:
Favorite place:
Favorite book:
Favorite TV show:
Favorite movie:
I am good at:
I want to learn:
Least favorite subject:
Place I want to go:
If I could make one wish, it would be:
If I could have one superpower, it would be:
This is what I want my teacher to know about me:

(Have at it — threadjacking is encouraged).]

Comments

[groupiedrifter]

Of course I know Cat Stevens, my uncle LOVES Cat Stevens.
I think he has a tour T-Shirt still that's got more holes than a dish sponge.

I'd be disowned if I didn't have some of his best hits on my Apple Music, yknow?

Just like my dad would disown me if I didn't have any Bob Dylan.

[zune]

[ !!! ]

yeah! and man, he had a lot of hits too

so did bob dylan!!

[ talking about this stuff to someone who recognizes it all like it's no big deal is ... kind of amazing, actually. not that he minds teaching people about earth's music because he genuinely loves sharing that first-listen experience with them ... but it's so cool to have the familiarity already in place. ]

so okay i was thinking it'd be cool to learn some of the guitar to 'father and son' or 'moonshadow' ... what do you think? too ambitious? easy enough?

also ... i gotta ask, what's an apple music?

[ literally imagining music coming out of an apple rn, please save him newt ]

[groupiedrifter]

Don't worry my guy, I'll give you the full scoop on Apple Music and iPhones if you need it. But there's no such thing as too ambitious! There's just stress levels you gotta adapt to, depending on the skill you need. But we're gonna get you on the right track, my guy. That way you can totally serenade Gamora to your heart's content.

[... Oh. Right-]






... This is probably a good time to admit we were buddies before.

It happens a lot more than I like to admit.

[zune]

[ This is ........ A Lot. Apple Music, iPhones (???), and then there's the mention of Gamora ...

And that's got him ... yeah.

Confused and suddenly a little wary, like he could jump out of his skin at any second, he has to take a breath. He hasn't spoken to Mal Oretsev just yet, and that means ... ]

oh man, like we were buddies here? on this station?

and you're sure it was me?

you're not just yanking my chain?

[groupiedrifter]

Yeah, uhhh.
Yeah.
When you go home, you don't remember this place. Safety measure to avoid collapsing timelines or something? I guess. That, or the orbs are assholes and just do that to be petty because people cut the deal short.
But yeah, anyway, we were pretty good buddies.
Teammates, pals, whatever you wanna call it.
It's how I know you're a really good guy.

[Even after the precursors attempted to kill Peter... more than once... he had been there to support him and all that. But the last thing he wants to do is dump that kind of closeness on someone who is technically probably not the same Peter — timeline divergence and trillions of branching universes, right?

So he quickly adds:]

But it's ok to have a fresh slate, y'know?
I don't want you to think you gotta be my friend or anything.
It's just really cool to see you again.

[zune]

according to everything i've heard about these orb things so far, that kinda checks out i guess

[ it's hard to get too worked up over it otherwise, especially because he doesn't remember any of it.

so: fresh slate. just like newt says. ]

well for what it's worth you seem like a pretty cool guy too, i mean this whole post is happening right now

that counts for something, right?

and you're a guy who likes good music and has a real-life gibson, and you're willing to let me play on it, man, of course i wanna be friends

[groupiedrifter]

Yeah, they suck.
It's possible we can remember in some way, maybe??? ??? Citation needed??
But I dunno. Viv's a better source for anything orb-related than little ol' me.
And for the record, I AM a cool dude. I'm a 100% certified awesome guy.
Only awesome guys and cool dudes have rare guitars from music superstars.

So don't drag your feet getting here to learn how to rock properly!

[Read: he's a doofus and a dork and not as cool as he says.

But that's one of his many charms, you see.]

wrap here?

[zune]

yeah i may have a few questions for her, honestly

stuff about my memories and stuff about candy, you know the important stuff

but okay

you're right

i'm heading over right now 'cause i gotta see this guitar

and then they played sweet sweet guitar riffs

[groupiedrifter]

Absolutely, Viv's the best to go to for anything.
She's super friendly, you'll love her.
But that's for later! Right now, guitar time. See ya soon, spaceman.