Video | welcome, hallo, buenos días, ohayō, etc, etc! | UN: Newt

[groupiedrifter]

[Newt comes shuffling into view on the screen, holding a cup of coffee in his hand with a bag of what seems to be Sour Patch Kids harrowingly hanging out from beneath the pinky finger of the very same hand. Disheveled but more than happy to provide his services after dragging himself out of bed, he taps his knuckle on the chalkboard beside him — one that used to be Hermann Gottlieb's, may he rest in peace (in a not dead way — may he rest in peace on a beach or something while wholly alive and thriving).]

Noticed an influx of new and kinda-new faces over the last few days or weeks or whatever.

So here's my handy dandy welcome board! Recently updated, to keep with the times.

Read it over and get a feel for how this place goes; I'm gonna finish off this coffee before I take any questions.

[As he takes the world's most obnoxious-sounding sip and burns his tongue, here's the board in question:]



[And then, after a bit of time, he turns the board over to the other side:]



[No worries, current crew, if you can't get one of those introduction papers in person!

Because he's attached them in file format, too.]



[And in case you wanted a text format copy:

Name:
Age:
Birthday:
Favorite color:
Favorite food:
Favorite subject:
Favorite toy:
Favorite animal:
Favorite candy:
Favorite activity:
Favorite place:
Favorite book:
Favorite TV show:
Favorite movie:
I am good at:
I want to learn:
Least favorite subject:
Place I want to go:
If I could make one wish, it would be:
If I could have one superpower, it would be:
This is what I want my teacher to know about me:

(Have at it — threadjacking is encouraged).]

Comments

[groupiedrifter]

Oh, right. Knowhere! Like where Peter's from.
What's it like? Lots of species you said, right? I'm so jealous.
Traveling around and cataloguing new species or cultures has been one of the best things that's ever happened ever to me ever.

[yes he wrote it that way on purpose.]

[godslain]

You mean with the Ximilia?

[groupiedrifter]

Eeeeh. Little bit of both?
With the Ximilia, yeah, but I also did some cataloguing back home!
We had a giant monster race invade our planet and try to kill us all.
My job was learning about them and looking awesome while doing it. ;)

[godslain]

And what was it you learned?

（ maybe her blood has run a little cold at the idea of giant monster race trying to kill us. ）

[groupiedrifter]

[He smiles weakly, leaning into his palm where he settles at his desk and considers the question.]

About the giant monster race?
Hmmmmm. I learned...
That sometimes, there's real, irredeemable evil out there who want you dead.
And that sometimes they create and weaponize giant monsters who deserved better.
And that the whole universe can be really unfair sometimes.

Also, they have two brains and acidic fluids in their bodies you gotta detoxify so you don't get cancer.

So, y'know. I learned in lots of ways.

[godslain]

（ mmmm, no, Too Much.

gamora, notably, just leaves this on read. sry newt, you hit too close to home there. ）

[groupiedrifter]

[Oh god did he insult someone new again.

After, like, 30 minutes, he mind-taps out a brow-furrowed little:]

Sorry if I said something rude.
Too heavy??? Too heavy for a first talk.
Superly my bad.

[And miraculously leaves it at that.

Growth?

... Well, he could probably learn how to say it a little more eloquently.

But it's sincere!!!!]