Video | welcome, hallo, buenos días, ohayō, etc, etc! | UN: Newt

[groupiedrifter]

[Newt comes shuffling into view on the screen, holding a cup of coffee in his hand with a bag of what seems to be Sour Patch Kids harrowingly hanging out from beneath the pinky finger of the very same hand. Disheveled but more than happy to provide his services after dragging himself out of bed, he taps his knuckle on the chalkboard beside him — one that used to be Hermann Gottlieb's, may he rest in peace (in a not dead way — may he rest in peace on a beach or something while wholly alive and thriving).]

Noticed an influx of new and kinda-new faces over the last few days or weeks or whatever.

So here's my handy dandy welcome board! Recently updated, to keep with the times.

Read it over and get a feel for how this place goes; I'm gonna finish off this coffee before I take any questions.

[As he takes the world's most obnoxious-sounding sip and burns his tongue, here's the board in question:]



[And then, after a bit of time, he turns the board over to the other side:]



[No worries, current crew, if you can't get one of those introduction papers in person!

Because he's attached them in file format, too.]



[And in case you wanted a text format copy:

Name:
Age:
Birthday:
Favorite color:
Favorite food:
Favorite subject:
Favorite toy:
Favorite animal:
Favorite candy:
Favorite activity:
Favorite place:
Favorite book:
Favorite TV show:
Favorite movie:
I am good at:
I want to learn:
Least favorite subject:
Place I want to go:
If I could make one wish, it would be:
If I could have one superpower, it would be:
This is what I want my teacher to know about me:

(Have at it — threadjacking is encouraged).]

Comments

[facultative]

The worst thing that could happen is I don't like how it tastes. That's not very exciting.

[groupiedrifter]

[groupiedrifter]

No no, I can safely say it'd kill you.

[facultative]

Are we not talking about food?

[groupiedrifter]

We're talking tik-tok famous laundry detergent, actually.

They look delicious, though. Some people ate them as a challenge years back.

But unless you want esophageal mucosal burns and ulcers, I wouldn't recommend it.

... Unless you're immortal. If I were immortal, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

[facultative]

[Should he know what a 'tik-tok' is?]

So you took my answer on what food I like to ask about something that isn't food?

[groupiedrifter]

[It's best you never know, sir.]

Oh, I was just goofing.
You said you'd eat anything, so I had to see your commitment.

You don't have a fave food though?

[facultative]

I've eaten live bugs. Is that committed enough?

I guess there's things I like a little more, but nothing I'd pick over anything else.

[He absolutely has a favourite, but he's never ever going to mention it.]

[groupiedrifter]

That's pretty committed. I haven't eaten bugs.

Yet.

What bug do you recommend?

[facultative]

Depends on what you prefer. Crunchy or juicy?

[groupiedrifter]

Oh, I love a good crunch. Crunchy all the way.

Besides, if I eat a juicy bug, I'll vom everywhere, guar-an-teed.

[facultative]

Then if you can catch one scorpions are pretty good.