Video | welcome, hallo, buenos días, ohayō, etc, etc! | UN: Newt

[groupiedrifter]

[Newt comes shuffling into view on the screen, holding a cup of coffee in his hand with a bag of what seems to be Sour Patch Kids harrowingly hanging out from beneath the pinky finger of the very same hand. Disheveled but more than happy to provide his services after dragging himself out of bed, he taps his knuckle on the chalkboard beside him — one that used to be Hermann Gottlieb's, may he rest in peace (in a not dead way — may he rest in peace on a beach or something while wholly alive and thriving).]

Noticed an influx of new and kinda-new faces over the last few days or weeks or whatever.

So here's my handy dandy welcome board! Recently updated, to keep with the times.

Read it over and get a feel for how this place goes; I'm gonna finish off this coffee before I take any questions.

[As he takes the world's most obnoxious-sounding sip and burns his tongue, here's the board in question:]



[And then, after a bit of time, he turns the board over to the other side:]



[No worries, current crew, if you can't get one of those introduction papers in person!

Because he's attached them in file format, too.]



[And in case you wanted a text format copy:

Name:
Age:
Birthday:
Favorite color:
Favorite food:
Favorite subject:
Favorite toy:
Favorite animal:
Favorite candy:
Favorite activity:
Favorite place:
Favorite book:
Favorite TV show:
Favorite movie:
I am good at:
I want to learn:
Least favorite subject:
Place I want to go:
If I could make one wish, it would be:
If I could have one superpower, it would be:
This is what I want my teacher to know about me:

(Have at it — threadjacking is encouraged).]

Comments

[drawsblood]

Is that what scientists do? I'm unfamiliar.

[oiorpata]

[ wait. ]

Do you know what science is?

[drawsblood]

Yes. It's that thing people say something is when I call it magic.

[oiorpata]

Magic's not real in my world the same way it is here, but science is, though there's probably some overlap for some places.

A lot of shit humans think of as magic turned out to be science we didn't understand yet. But a scientist wants to figure out how the shit we think is magic actually works, especially in a place where magic doesn't exist.

[ the immortal lady continues to say magic isn't real, even though her healing functions very magically. ]

[drawsblood]

Okay.

[ That would be a troll response if he just left it at that. ]

So when I say something is magic and they say it's science, it's because they understand it.

[oiorpata]

No. I think it's pretty world dependent. Your world sounds like the magic is real.

I used to think it was all bullshit, but I was biased from my own universe.

[drawsblood]

It's real.

[ Far too real for his liking. ]

So things can be science or magic but if they can't detect magic they figure out how something works and that's science. Right?

[oiorpata]

Let's go with close enough.

I'm definitely not a scientist, and I hate magic, so you might be better off asking someone else if you want a clearer picture.

[drawsblood]

I don't doubt a scientist would want to explain it to me. We'll see. For now I'll just keep calling the things I don't understand "magic shit."

[oiorpata]

You never know, it could end up staying magic shit in the end too.

[drawsblood]

If it does, I've covered all my bases: being right or being wrong and a scientist explaining the truth of it to me.

[oiorpata]

Looks like you're all set for the mysteries of science.

[drawsblood]

Guess so.

[ Will he understand even half of what's explained to him? Probably not. ]