( video | un: alucard )

[ananym]

[ the feed starts with a very tall man with long blond hair, dressed in archaic clothing and a long black cloak. a large scar is visible on his chest. ]

Greetings.

My name is Alucard. I am a new arrival. No, I did not fill up the "form" as I found the criteria to be quite baffling and useless.

I do need to state that I am a half-vampire. Yes, I have fangs. No, I will not bite you. I do not require blood and you can go about your day in peace.

And no, I will not bite you if you have a kink for vampires. Find a sharp fork instead.

Comments

[eyeronically]

sounds rough. being named after dracula but being anti him.

[ananym]

Rough is certainly the extent of it.

[eyeronically]

so, what do you do then if you don't eat blood? ...drink blood?

[ananym]

Neither. I manage fine on human food.

[eyeronically]

really? huh. books and stuff make it seem like vampires can't. would a stake kill you?

[ananym]

A stake would kill anyone. Vampires are hardly exempt there.

And vampires can consume human food. It simply does not slake the thirst.

[eyeronically]

fair enough.

so is it like that for you, then? will you eventually need it?

[ananym]

I have never needed it before. It's unlikely that will change.

[eyeronically]

what if it does? is there a way to stop you?

[ananym]

If it does, I suggest you take up prayer. It's better than nothing.

[eyeronically]

i mean, a prayer isn't gonna help me or anyone against a vampire.

[ananym]

Then perhaps I'll consider sharing my weakness when you share yours.

It's only fair.

[eyeronically]

i'm just a fleshy human, so i can go down pretty quick. but, if you're serious, i'll consider it.

[ananym]

[ hm. maybe this person hasn't realized their faux-pas. ]

Generally, I don't think it's very polite to ask someone publicly about the best ways to kill them.

[eyeronically]

( or he has and just doesn't care. )

no offense, man. normally i'd say you're right. but vampires are kind of a special case. i'd ask a werewolf the same thing if one of those existed. or any other supernatural being, really. even just a regular guy that might hulk out and go berserk.

vamps are known for being crazy strong, according to movies and stuff. knowing how to protect the rest of the crew isn't a bad thing. not like i want you to get messed up or anything, either. and i don't need to know, but someone should know how to at least slow you down or whatever.

[ananym]

Except you asked for a way to "stop" me. I think I'm allowed to be skeptical.

But I will consider it.

[eyeronically]

i mean, whatever works.

[ananym]

We shall see.