text ↪ un: torontonian

[hallowing]

important q


if u were a dnd character


what class would u be



if u dont know wat dnd is (wow sorry for ur life) a class will be assigned for u randomly. no i dont make the rules.

Comments

[choicely]

Are we even talking about musical instruments anymore?

[hallowing]

oh i know when i'm beat

i would never think to ingratiate myself with a beautiful woman by implying such fey things of her

[choicely]

You're that certain I'm beautiful? I could be downright hideous.

[hallowing]

well, first of all, u have no idea what i find beautiful or hideous so jot that down.

second of all, i'm a personality guy anyway. to paraphrase a quote from a shitty author, i'm beautiful enough for 2.

besides i kinda go in for the remote ice queen thing ja feel?

[choicely]

Fair enough. Taste is subjective.

What sort of feedback have you been given about your own personality, out of curiosity?

[ and she's not even going to comment on that last part. ]

[hallowing]

u asking me to use such sordid words in such charming company???

[choicely]

I think I can handle it.

[hallowing]

（ give him a second he had to go find a banjo. yes, a banjo for this particular and specific ditty he has composed on the spot.

he switches over to audio, gives a twangy little strum of the banjo, and then launches into the world's dumbest self-diss track: ）

Oh, I've been told I'm a useless reprobate
That daddy should have bought a doll to masturbate
That mama should have swallowed her own weight
(in cum, to be clear, there's a point I'm making here)

I've been asked how many times I've been dropped on my head
How I survived to adulthood when I'm better off dead
How I make everyone who's ever met me see shades of red
(I prefer to imagine I bring colour to everyone's life)

I've been called a pastiche of schoolyard insults
And threatened with dismemberment by a variety of bad cults
Somehow these putdowns have gotten no results?
(I guess I'm just lucky that way)

（ well.

she asked. ）

[choicely]

[ she switches over to audio just for the long pause that she can give him when the last of those notes rings out, and then, after that, a quiet sigh. ]

... I can't say that's at all what I expected, but simultaneously, it seems bard was a correct judgment on my part.