text ↪ un: torontonian

[hallowing]

important q


if u were a dnd character


what class would u be



if u dont know wat dnd is (wow sorry for ur life) a class will be assigned for u randomly. no i dont make the rules.

Comments

[hallowing]

coward

shape of water was a masterpiece for THIS REASON

[groupiedrifter]

Like, I was trying not to come off as IMMEDIATELY weird to the new blood, but since you've made yourself very transparent: I would absolutely have gotten hot and heavy with the fishpeople as a human, too.

BUT I WAS THAT FISHMAN.
Practically! I was super HOT, dude, trust me.
I miss being a lean mean swimming machine sometimes.
... The raw meat diet, not so much.
GOD I had the coolest spinous and soft dorsal spine.

[hallowing]

im so transparent im basically a scifi aluminum. u'n'me: 🤝 certified monsterfucking.

and hey wow i know u aren't dissing the raw meat diet

p sure gwynnie paltrow swears by it or smth these days

u eat it by the dulcet light of a vagina candle

[groupiedrifter]

GOD, I would love to dissect that candle under a microscope; I wanna figure out the secret ingredients and then sell bootleg vagina candles. I love a vagina as much as the next mess, but our world was literally on the brink of complete destruction by aliens, and she was selling candles based on her orgasms.

[hallowing]

hold up, what's this abt aliens?

[groupiedrifter]

Yeeeep, aliens.
This place isn't my first brush with them. My planet was being attacked by murderous aliens who cloned giant monsters and sent them through a portal to try and destroy humanity. Luckily we had giant robots to fight them back -- really COOL robots. And of course, really smart scientists who helped improve them and the success rate of their attacks.

(Me, I was one of the really smart scientists.)