text ↪ torontonian

[hallowing]

so we gonna poke the big ol' eyeball w/a stick or what???

also: hal9000 would NEVER smh

so how does this voting shit usually go??

fisticuffs at dawn for the non-compliant or...

Comments

[hallowing]

girl u don't know my sticks

[bindsthedead]

How pointy are they? And how long?

[And how flammable?]

[hallowing]

in good conscience i have to ask

did u understand that i made that into a dick metaphor

like, are u continuing the bit

or is this the dulcet tone of a (whoosh)

[bindsthedead]

The latter, I'm afraid.

[And Sabriel's annoyance bleeds through her harassment.]

If you're saying you want to try seducing that thing, be my guest.

[hallowing]

i have hereby identified the straight man in the room. in case u want to take that literally that does not mean i am asserting that u are sexually straight OR male.

q:

do people hide the bong when you show up

[bindsthedead]

Actually, no. People can seek whatever form of relaxation they like, even if it involves intoxicants.

[hallowing]

okay u have earned back the tiniest mote of my wary regard

even if u totally have cop-vibes.

actually hold up

are u a cop

but like, a canadian one???

u are legally obligated to tell me if the answer is yes i know my rights

[bindsthedead]

I've never set foot in Canada.

Although you... could say my job at home was something like being a police officer.

[Or an executioner. Or a psychopomp for the restless Dead. Or a ratcatcher. But being a police officer is a more polite way of putting it.]

Although my concern was only with a handful of laws.

1/2

[hallowing]

A SINGLE THING TAKEN NON-LITERALLY I BEG OF YOU PLEASE

[hallowing]

but ok ill bite

which laws

[bindsthedead]

The ones forbidding necromancy and sorcery.

[hallowing]

ur really putting the 'fun' in necromaFUNcy

[bindsthedead]

[That pun is so bad, Sabriel lets out a strangled little laugh, despite the circumstances.]

What, no puns on necROMANCEy?

[hallowing]

time really is a circle and we've somehow come right back around to dicks

[bindsthedead]

Is that really the first thing to pop into your head when someone says 'romance'?

[hallowing]

sometimes there's handcuffs involved