Video | un: HELP (ft.ng Yzak, Ryu, and Newt)

[groupiedrifter]

[There's a little fuzzy interference, with choppy dialogue that seemingly devolves into panic; perhaps someone had broadcasted snippets of an unfortunate situation by mistake? Newt's obvious voice bleeds through: "Grab my hand!" and middles with a voice that sounds like Yzak definitely saying "You're stuck, too, you idiot!", followed ceremoniously by what appears to be Ryunosuke's voice, which ends with, "Dr. Geiszler, I've got you - oh."

Or something to that effect. It's a little hard to make out. But what does finally come through is the view of Newton, Yzak, and Ryunosuke, enjoying some quality time stuck together. Quality time of the unsexy stuck together kind, Newt will admit. But kind of interesting, in a 'this is really bad' kind of way.

Ryu, take the floor.

High pitched, clearly trying not to panic and failing:]

[Ryu:] So, um, if anyone’s listening–! oh god please let there be someone listening– It seems like we’ve maybe gotten ourselves a bit stuck here?

[Nailed it. Indeed, all three are up to their waists. Newton's short fidgety ass is up to his ribs in quicksand, because of course he is. And he is also in the middle of trying to survey this sand that they're in, as Ryunosuke frets and Yzak speaks in frustration on either side of him—]

[Newt:] It's fine, guys, quicksand is denser than water; we'll be able to get out!

[Yzak, ignoring Newt, practically pushes Newt's head forward to get a better look at Ryu as he huffs:]

[Yzak:] I don't live on Earth! How the fuck would I have known what quicksand looks like?!

[Ryu:] Do you seriously think the average Earthgoer knows what quicksand looks like?! It’s not exactly a common threat on the streets of Tokyo!

[Newt wiggles a little, and proceeds to sink another few inches. He really should be panicking more than this, and yet — all he can manage, tapping his finger on his lips, is a puzzled:]

[Newt:] ... I think the quicksand here is not dense enough to get out, actually. Could someone out there bring us a rope, or something? I'll shoot you guys some... landmarks... or something. Or maybe just find me like the Find My Phone App.

[Ryu:] Eh–?

[The rest doesn't seem to actually be directed at the rest of the team (not that much before that seemed directed at the network, either, but...); it seems the network has decided you all needed to be subjected to more bickering, and so it goes:]

[Newt:] Man. If I had my suitcase with me, I could totally study what it's formed with; usually quicksand's just a mixture of clay -- sand or silt, y'know -- and mostly water. [The other two men make noises that imply if they were lesser people, they would have probably attempted to drown Newton by this point. Yzak's expression seems to say that it's not off the table entirely and he still very well might drown him if this goes on for much longer. Newton pulls his cracked iPhone out of his shirt pocket.] I gotta write about this in my journal—

[Ryu and Yzak:] We're sinking!

[Newt:] That doesn't mean documentation isn't important! And we're not any less stuck until someone else comes along to help. This definitely isn't like getting stuck under an orc. You remember that, Ryu? When a orc stole us to be his brides because he wanted our young, nubile bodies.

[Ryu:] Please never use the word nubile around me ever again—

[Yzak:] CAN YOU TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP?! This is all your faults!!

[Ryu:] How is this my fault?!

[Newt:] I tried to save you, Yzak!

[Yzak:] And?! If I die here it'll be even worse now since I'll die listening to this shit!!

[Newt:] Okay, okay, okay, cool down... uh...! Uh! ... Oh! I'll play us some tunes to relax—

[Yzak:] Don't you dare-

[Newt:] Until someone picks up the SOS. [Newt scrolls through the same busted up iPhone, stopping on his music and shuffling randomly onto Bon Jovi's Living on a Prayer.] Oh, shit! This is a good one; a classic glam hair metal song. If you need a theme song for being stuck in quicksand, this is the one.

[He seems to vibe for a few lines of the song, before being unable to help himself:]

[Newt:] ♪ Ohh, we're halfway there! Who-oa, livin' on a pra-yer! ♪

[Yzak, halfway there:] I think I'd rather be under the sand at this point.

[Newt, more than halfway there:] ♪ Take my hand and we'll make it, I swear! ♪

[Ryu, just as halfway there:] ... Taking your hand is the entire reason I’m here in the first place...

[Finally, blissfully, it's the end of the entry.]

Comments

voice;

[softshoes]

[YOU'RE KILLING HIM RYUNOSUKE. YOU'RE KILLING YOUR FATHER-IN-LAW.]

All of you, please stop arguing and moving! One of us will come to help you as soon as we can-- where is this quicksand?

audio (un: major.yzak.jule)

[coordination]

[ Spoken very quickly: ]

Sending the location to you start heading southwest of where we spent the night—

Audio;

[locumstudentesquire]

Professor Mikotoba!

[He's just, extremely distressed about his present predicament, and extremely relieved to hear Dad-in-Law's voice.]

I'm so sorry, I just reached out and tried to grab Dr Geiszler without thinking--!

voice;

[groupiedrifter]

[Yzak is handling the actual answer, so Newt supplies:]

All around and under us.

( video | un: alucard )

[ananym]

For fuck's sake.

audio (un: major.yzak.jule)

[coordination]

They made this so much worse.

[ Citation needed. ]

( video )

[groupiedrifter]

I know, right? Stuck in this mess with these two loudmouths!

Audio; un: 苣屋

[dispassioned]

Isn't at least one of you supposed to be smart?

[Chishiya, that's not helpful.]

audio (un: major.yzak.jule)

[coordination]

[ WOW THE SLANDER. ]

I'M EXTREMELY SMART!! [ Hm, ]

I could have figured this out myself!! [ HM, ]

audio; un: naruhodo

[locumstudentesquire]

Thank you, now do you actually have anything HELPFUL to contribute to the situation?

[VERY, VERY MUCH PANICKING RIGHT NOW.]

Audio; un: Wei Wuxian

[singlelogbridge]

[Okay but the way he laughs]

Audio;

[groupiedrifter]

There's a lot of different criteria for smarts, F-Y-I!

... But yes, I'm a genius.

My heart was just clearly too big, watching my buddy Yzak struggle in there.

[Bon Jovi continues to blare loudly.]

video | un: andy

[oiorpata]

Stop moving.

Try and get more horizontal if you can, until someone comes along to help pull you out.

audio (un: major.yzak.jule)

[coordination]

I hope whoever that 'someone' is is hurrying their ass up!!

video

[groupiedrifter]

Working on it!

Man, who knew an alien planet separate from Earth would have a totally unique composition to their natural elements?

[Newt knew. Newt absolutely knew this could be a possibility. 100%.

... Also, he is trying not to squirm and end up the first to drown in sand.

Because that would be top tier embarrassing on the final mission.]

[Video] UN: Wei Wuxian 1/3

[singlelogbridge]

[singlelogbridge]

[singlelogbridge]

Is someone on their way?

video | un: S.H.

[astudyinviolet]

[ This isn't meddling when there is a call for help. Also why is drowning in sand a thing here?! Sherlock is now on alert for additional quicksand. ]

I'm looking for something to use to pull you out, but materials in this place are few.

video

[groupiedrifter]

You're a saint, Homie. [yes this is a nickname he literally conjured for holmes out of thin air in the middle of a predicament] If you help us out of here, I'll give you a handwritten coupon for a neck massage and a martini.

audio; un: shinn.asuka

[lostdestiny]

-- give me a break!

[ Come on Yzak he was just starting to respect you.

The other two of you, seems on-brand. ]

audio (un: major.yzak.jule)

[coordination]

Give me a break!

[ I'M THE ONE IN THE QUICKSAND! ]

audio;

[edraith]

That's a very... lively song.

[ a pause. this seems like — not the greatest of situations to be singing, even to someone who, generally, thinks singing in all situations is warranted. ]

Will you be alright? I must assume someone is coming to save you.

audio (un: major.yzak.jule)

[coordination]

The player of it may not be so 'lively' if he keeps it up—!

And I would certainly hope so, by now!!

{ video } un: joric

[drawsblood]

[ He can in no way help while being stuck in this godsforsaken city, but he can't just not say anything to people who are filming their imminent demise. ]

Perhaps you shouldn't be squirming around so much. It seems like that makes you sink faster.

[ Look, this man has zero knowledge of quicksand, but he's trying! ]

{ video }

[groupiedrifter]

You tell them that! I don't squirm.

[He says, squirming.]

[Action]

[locumstudentesquire]

[In the midst of all the chaos, Ryunosuke has started standing, or... floating? As rigid as a buckingham palace guard, too terrified to move an inch. But that doesn't mean he's not thinking frantically of ways to get out of this mess, in case no one shows up in time. He's trying to think of what he has on his person at this very second that they might use to their advantage, when it hits him:]

Ha-- Hachimaki, HACHIMAKI--!

[Action]

[groupiedrifter]

[.................................................

Well, that gets Newt to stop fidgeting. For, like, two seconds.

He has indeed sunk a few more inches, and his elbows sit atop the layer of sand awkwardly.]

Pardon me, buddy?

voice - un; nightmoves

[ruinously]

[ s15 daddy! dean voice ]

Dude, haven't you seen The Princess Bride? Stop squirming.

voice

[groupiedrifter]

You know I've seen it, I ran all of the movie nights.

[SO PETULANTLY SPOKEN.

More importantly:]

... Did your voice get deeper?

You didn't get hit with COVID in your timeline yet, did you?