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Entry tags:
- altered carbon: takeshi kovacs,
- doctor who: clara oswald,
- knives out: marta cabrera,
- mcu: erik stevens,
- mcu: peter quill,
- one piece: rosinante donquixote,
- pacific rim: newton geiszler,
- pacific rim: raleigh becket,
- star trek aos: leonard mccoy,
- the 100: clarke griffin,
- the old guard: andromache,
- transformers: megatron
text | un: m.cabrera
[ turns out? space doesn't give a single fuck about your circadian rhythm. or maybe insomnia is just that attached to her that even the absence of a sun dictating her internal clock doesn't faze it, like an old friend you wish would just forget you already.
one night (?) late into the early hours (???) marta finds herself drifting out of the room she's come to assume will be hers for the indefinite future, passing through stark white walls with all the sterility of a hospital, but none of its familiar chaos.
she's still getting used to the earpiece. still getting used to hearing other people's voices in her head. she doesn't mean to add another in the void, but one of her own thoughts blares out too vividly as she stares out into an actual void: ]
—but where are the stars?
one night (?) late into the early hours (???) marta finds herself drifting out of the room she's come to assume will be hers for the indefinite future, passing through stark white walls with all the sterility of a hospital, but none of its familiar chaos.
she's still getting used to the earpiece. still getting used to hearing other people's voices in her head. she doesn't mean to add another in the void, but one of her own thoughts blares out too vividly as she stares out into an actual void: ]
—but where are the stars?
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It was just starting to be winter, back home.
[ which is to say, ]
I have a sweater, thank you.
I probably couldn't tell either. But somehow just knowing they're fake... suddenly I think I'm an expert.
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i figured some people might appreciate having a piece of home with them here, if we're going to be festive and all that.
oh. well, in that case, i said nothing. 😶
the stars are completely natural and real.
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[ IS IT THOUGH? she's more trying to convince herself with that. ]
You mentioned sunshine as your expertise?
Is that what you did in your home?
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a pretty lie does more damage once you discover the ugly truth it was hiding.
[ ... not the most encouraging words, alina. thankfully, she sweeps right by the pain that wants to unearth inside of her ribcage, and back into good-humored sarcasm. ]
in a way.
i have many flattering titles. "human flashlight" and "glow-worm" are top contenders aboard the station.
before that, i was a mapmaker, but that sounds less exciting to say.
no subject
she's thankful alina moves on. ]
Mapmaker means you're good at details.
Human flashlight means...? You're good at light?
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[ — likely not, but it eases some of the nerves that always come with being seen. there's hardly a point in concealing it, after her power has shone glaringly bright during missions; if she had wanted to hide, it's too late now that she's drawn a beacon to herself.
it helps, still, that she isn't so singularly special or placed on a pedestal here, as she had been in ravka. certainly not enough to invite another assassination attempt. ]
you're close. i'm what's called a sun summoner, back home.
i can make maps and sunlight with my hands.
[ after skimming through the network, she volleys back: ]
you're a nurse, so you must want to help people.
luckily for us, you're in the right place for it.
no subject
[ so far, marta has met more otherworldly beings on this ship than she has regular humans like herself, but no matter how many she hears about, each one still sounds just as fantastical and awe-inspiring as the last.
less inspiring, however, is having the conversation shift towards her. ]
I do what I can.
But I've only ever worked with humans, so I don't know how much help I'll really be.
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then i might be especially majestic. 🌞
[ not that impressive, says the actual living saint. but her titles — the sun summoner, sankta alina — aren't what she wants to be known by, here. left to wonder, for a second time, who orbits her simply for the prestige — when they might have spat at her feet otherwise. ]
you will be. helpful, i mean. every contribution is an important one.
most of us are human, if that eases your mind. so you won't need to toss me into the sunlight room like a finicky rosebush and hope for the best.
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[ you said it yourself, alina... every contribution counts! ]
Speaking of, are you okay? I heard the last one really affected a lot of people...
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i spent most of our first mission holed up in a dungeon.
[ please ... don't use her own logic against her ... it hurts. ]
well, i survived, so i'm fine enough.
nothing a little bedrest in the infirmary won't fix. it's as dull as i expected it to be, though.
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Bedrest isn't really meant to be exciting. That's sort of the point, sorry.
But if you'd like some company sometime, I plan on dropping in when I can to help where I can.
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third mission, most of my energy got fed to a hungry orb, and now i'm here.
trouble and misfortune and i are well-acquainted. close bedfellows and all that.
only if you'd like to. i don't want to force you to spend time with me.
[ what could be more tragically pathetic than foisting her presence onto someone who would tolerate her out of pity? ]
i have books and art supplies you could use.
whenever you want to drop by. or ... if you want to drop by.
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Sorry. For what it's worth, even with all that, you still got up to fight. You still offered your help with the orb.
Maybe the outcome isn't always as important as the intent.
[ marta has to wonder if she'd even be brave enough to do that much... ]
It's not a problem. You've probably got plenty of visitors as it is, and you should be resting for the most part. But if the nights get too silent for you, I'm around.
I'm not much of an artist, but I love to read, too.
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it had less to do with the orb, at that point, and more to do with what they were being used for. i'm not fond of bullies.
[ or leaving princesses to a lonely fate of suffering, for that matter. ]
plenty of visitors makes me sound like a popular commodity. that's flattering.
you're not much of an artist, and i'm not much of a patient. 😋
fortunately for us i don't mind sharing my books with a non-artist.
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[ nothing selfless, it seems. apparently greed for power is multi-universal. ]
I wouldn't call you a commodity, but a good friend. You're not feeling well, yet here you are answering my questions and offering me your books.
Who wouldn't want to be around someone like that?
cw references to racism
but not everyone falls victim to it. so-yeon surrendered the orb at the cost of her life in our first mission.
she only wanted to find peace.
[ but it had shaken alina, all the same, to witness how so-yeon had made herself a martyr. serenely, too — willingly accepting the fate that might wait for alina, herself, one day. that mirror is too unnerving to force herself to look into it. ]
more people than you would think. you might be surprised.
[ zoya's whisper is still a venomous hiss in her ear, so similar to the same poisonous insults she's faced in ravka. you stink of the orphanage, halfbreed. but it doesn't seem to matter here, she's found — and isn't that its own sense of poetic tragedy? finally finding that place where no one cares where she's from, only to realize she'll have to return to ravka one day.
in a quick attempt to recover from those thoughts: ]
what kind of books are your favorite?
hopefully not history. i didn't take many of those.
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[ but marta gets it. or, an aspect of it anyway. it's hard to ignore the voices of those who have grown far too loud in the comfort of always being heard and listened to. ]
I've enjoyed a little bit of everything. History would actually be pretty interesting, if they're of other places.
But I'll take whatever you can spare. Fiction's always been a go to. Anything with a happy ending is always nice.
no subject
she doesn't want to send herself spiraling into the question of whether she's next, of how soon it will be before she counts herself among that number — if she survives at all. she skims past the sentiment in agreement, for focus on something much more easily answered. much more capable of having a happy end to it. ]
i hate to be the bearer of bad news, but some of the other orbers ripped out pages from kilnan's history books.
but i have other stories i can tell you. worlds with magic and unicorns, if you like fairytales.
most of the books i took were ... you'll find out when i show them to you.
whenever you're ready to borrow them, you'll know where to find me.
mostly because, well, i can't really go anywhere else.
no subject
Visiting hours probably don't exist here anyway, so there's that.
And since you're up now... If you don't mind, I'd love to hear a story.
no subject
i'm in the bed. near the corner of the door? come by and i'll fish out my best stories for you.
well. they're not my stories, exactly, but ... i don't think my resident storyteller will mind me passing them on.