voice - un: nightmoves
[ sorry, everyone - Dean is...very drunk. Very, very drunk. There's a lot of reasons for this, but most notably, it's a Monday and that's what matters, right? It's not like it's his birthday and no one gives a shit again, for the thirtieth? thirty-first? time...
does he even age, here? Is it even really January? Cause it was May for him when he got here, and then suddenly they've skipped months and it was Christmas and now it's January or some shit, he doesn't know. ]
Guys, is it just me or does anyone else just like...not give a shit anymore? Like this is crazy, right? Weeks and weeks of bullshit, mission after mission, same story different folks, more investigating these damn people who just parrot the same friggin' story over and over, like we're eating snakes, man, that's just--
[ a breath, steadying; ]
That's just not right. And all for what? Cause we might get to undo a regret? Cause we fucked up so monumentally in our own worlds that we gotta sign some weird sleep paralysis contract that's probably gonna backfire in our faces - cause lemme tell you from firsthand experience, deals always have a price - and feed friggin' alien orbs our goddamn souls? Or whatever the hell it is you magic people have I dunno, I'm useless there.
Man, fuck this. I'm out. I don't care anymore.
does he even age, here? Is it even really January? Cause it was May for him when he got here, and then suddenly they've skipped months and it was Christmas and now it's January or some shit, he doesn't know. ]
Guys, is it just me or does anyone else just like...not give a shit anymore? Like this is crazy, right? Weeks and weeks of bullshit, mission after mission, same story different folks, more investigating these damn people who just parrot the same friggin' story over and over, like we're eating snakes, man, that's just--
[ a breath, steadying; ]
That's just not right. And all for what? Cause we might get to undo a regret? Cause we fucked up so monumentally in our own worlds that we gotta sign some weird sleep paralysis contract that's probably gonna backfire in our faces - cause lemme tell you from firsthand experience, deals always have a price - and feed friggin' alien orbs our goddamn souls? Or whatever the hell it is you magic people have I dunno, I'm useless there.
Man, fuck this. I'm out. I don't care anymore.
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[ Then she groans, loud and incredibly dramatic. ]
What the hell is your apocalypse, anyway? Because unless it involves literal hell, I don't want to hear about it!
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[ Godammit, Sammy. Listen to him, for once. ]
Uh, yeah actually. It's all the real deal, Revelations -- heaven, hell. Angels, demons. The whole damn lot. Word to the wise, though?
Angels are dicks.
[ and hell sucks, he'd rather the planet not burn. ]
no subject
[ A very long, awkward pause seems to take some of the wind out of her sails. ]
Okay, you and I might need to compare notes, because my ex was addicted to like some weird magic juice and he and another of my teammates do have some ties to hell, but I have never met any angels. That's new.
And... terrifying.
no subject
[ cause that's magic juice, right? ]
Trust me, you don't wanna meet 'em. Unless it's Cas, Cas is cool. But the rest are douchebags.
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[ And cue the gagging noises on her end. ]
Gross I kissed that mouth. There is not enough therapy on every Earth that could possibly exist to process that! Thank you for the new nightmare fuel, mister!
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So wait... you're staring down the barrel of an actual Biblical apocalypse? And you're questioning if playing cowboys for a couple of months is worth it? Are you like... okay?
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Course I'm not okay. Is anyone on this friggin' crew okay?
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[ Which is probably the closest she's come since she got here to admitting that she is not, in fact, okay herself. ]
But--and I'm not a therapist myself, but I have paid a lot of them over the years--it does seem like maybe you're putting a lot of responsibility on your own shoulders for this whole apocalypse thing. Like, there's no way it's really all on you. Maybe you need to like unpack that or whatever.
no subject
[ he can't think of a single person on this damn ship that's okay, so he wouldn't be surprised if this chick isn't, either. ]
I guess in the essence of fairness, it was half on my, half on my stupid brother. I kicked it off, he made sure it happened.
Does that count as unpacking?
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[ She sighs and there's the sound of fabric rustling as she gets comfortable. She's completely forgotten that she started off this conversation being hostile, especially because he hasn't cut contact yet. ]
Listen, did you mean to start the whole apocalypse thing? And be honest. Unaccredited Doctor Tarazi will know if you're lying.
private.
Are you like an infomercial doctor, here? Like the late night QVC brand?
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[ And she still does... ]
Are you looking for my resume here? I mean I've had therapy and several of my CatChat videos have been sponsored by Better Help, so I'd say I'm the closest thing to a therapist you've got here right now and my price is that you tuck away your pity party, because I've had enough white man pity parties in my life lately.
Sooooooo I'll just ask again: Did you intend to cause the apocalypse with whatever you did? Was that on purpose? You know I already know the answer, but I wanna hear you say it.
no subject
You--wait, hold on a second, back up. What the hell is CatChat and Better Help?
[ At the very least, his pity party is being tucked away - mostly by sheer confusion at the entire way this conversation has gone. ]
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[ She might be laughing a little. ]
I can give you a social media crash course another time, but for now, you really need to stop deflecting and answer the question. I can do this all day and I will come find you if I have to. You're welcome.
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Uh. What-- was the question again?
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Did you mean to start the apocalypse?
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No, God no. Of course not.
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Thanks. Sorry about the outburst.
>Video
Water under the bridge. Are you okay? Relatively, I mean, obviously, because none of us are actually okay-okay or we wouldn't be here, right?
Re: >Video
I’m…okay enough, I guess.
Good as anyone can be in this mess.
no subject
[ She smiles knowingly. ]
Have you had sex recently? It's really been helping me. Way better for you than drinking, too.
I REALIZED THIS MORNING HIS PREVIOUS STATEMENT WAS A LIE
Do the alien hookers count?
LOL