ximilia | voice - un: nightmoves

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voice - un: nightmoves

[ sorry, everyone - Dean is...very drunk. Very, very drunk. There's a lot of reasons for this, but most notably, it's a Monday and that's what matters, right? It's not like it's his birthday and no one gives a shit again, for the thirtieth? thirty-first? time...

does he even age, here? Is it even really January? Cause it was May for him when he got here, and then suddenly they've skipped months and it was Christmas and now it's January or some shit, he doesn't know. ]

Guys, is it just me or does anyone else just like...not give a shit anymore? Like this is crazy, right? Weeks and weeks of bullshit, mission after mission, same story different folks, more investigating these damn people who just parrot the same friggin' story over and over, like we're eating snakes, man, that's just--

[ a breath, steadying; ]

That's just not right. And all for what? Cause we might get to undo a regret? Cause we fucked up so monumentally in our own worlds that we gotta sign some weird sleep paralysis contract that's probably gonna backfire in our faces - cause lemme tell you from firsthand experience, deals always have a price - and feed friggin' alien orbs our goddamn souls? Or whatever the hell it is you magic people have I dunno, I'm useless there.

Man, fuck this. I'm out. I don't care anymore.

Threaded | Flat

No. You don't get to get drunk and then come here and make an ass out of yourself.

[She would leave it there, but this is Dean and he's a good friend. So she presses.]

Tell me what's really going on, Dean.

[Wow, this is a lot.]

Dean Winchester, do you need a hug or something?

Maybe your goal here isn't that important to you, but mine is and I know all too well what the price of magic fixes can be.

[ Zari huffs, offended and a little pissed about his implications here. ]

You know what? I'm not even trying to fix my own fuck up here, anyway, but I guess you'd rather throw a pity party for yourself than consider that some of us are trying to save whole planets and magic mushroom alien protectors and stupid ex boyfriends!

[ She's fine and definitely not projecting here. Nope. ]

Not to split hairs, but it was only two sources of living energy hitherto volunteered at the time. [ Not helping, but attempts at levity rarely did. ]

Dean. What's the catalyst here? I know this dark night of the soul you're having isn't because you had to eat barbecued reptile.

Where're you stayin', Dean?

( He's not gonna give him sass or upbraid him for freaking out, c'mon. )

[ there's a quiet moment, then gently: ] Well, that's certainly not true. About you not caring anymore. You care an awful lot about a lot of things and a lot of people, maybe even when you'd really rather not.

So, just go. Pack up your shit if you don't care. Not much use to us if you're just gonna throw around a toddler tantrum.

( what in the world )

because complaining always solves the problems
a shame your regret isnt important enough
but it isnt fair to everyone else who thinks theirs is to have to listen to your complaining to a bond you made

Why would I have less of a soul, as a concept, than you, just because I have what you might call magic?

[That's a very strange thing to accuse people of, Dean. A step away from claiming that they might not even be human at all.]

Some sacrifices are worth making, even if it does end up being at a very steep price.

been feeling a mite like this myself.

don't know if this place is supposed to make me a better person
or teach me something
but it ain't working.

Please ensure you are adequately hydrated before you sleep.

If the sentiment lingers after you have rested, the orbs are apparently amenable to sending home those who change their minds.

（ #helping. also he's not going to touch the rest of that, but he's glad to see clara fielding this one because he has neither idea nor desire about how to navigate... any of this. ）

Edited 2022-01-25 15:08 (UTC)

You are correct in that the situation is positively maddening. It's bizarre in the extreme and I often find myself asking myself the same questions. The wisdom of expressing them in a drunken ramble is questionable, however, Nightmoves. I believe that the combination of lack of real sustenance and large amounts of intoxicants is unhealthy.

[ He sounds a little stern, but sympathetic. He wishes humans had FIM chips because then he could just go solve this problem.

God, no. He doesn't want to think about Trailbreaker. Even if Nightmoves does remind him of the other mech at times. ]

Would you believe me if I said it's not the strangest situation I've ever been in, however?

Edited 2022-01-25 18:09 (UTC)

When I first arrived at the station... someone told me we always had the choice to go back home. That some have before.

Are you really leaving?

[ Gosh, what a mood. WHAT A MOOD. ]

Do you have more of whatever you're drinking? I can probably find some whiskey or something to share.

[ Just call him Mr. Good Decisions. ]

If your regret is not worth it to you, then by all means, renege on your agreement and return to whatever booze-filled oasis it is that you come from. Some of us are here for a reason that's bigger than ourselves, and are willing to endure a little pain and tediousness to get it.

[ Yeah, sorry Dean. She's not in the mood to coddle anyone tonight. ]

Usually, it's those that make a show of not caring that truly care the most.

[he's definitely worried here, given his own experience with panic on the network. even if it was more direct and less... this.]

There is likely a wise philosopher from a time you would consider ancient and that would be my contemporary, that would say that penance for a regret is not meant to be easy.

To be fair, I never gave a shit. All these things are is a means to an end. Quid pro quo. We do our part and they're supposed to do theirs.

But something tells me this is a lot more personal for you. For me, it's just a bomb in my noggin. I could die either way, technically, but as fun as being sloppy drunk is it's never as fun for the sober party. Which this time is me.

Need some company?

Threaded | Flat

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