text ☀️ un: starkov ☀️ sedorum

[peasant]

[ it comes late in the night while she's slumped in a chair at a strategist's table, though time is meaningless in the hellish pits of an afterlife. sedorum's frenzied chaos is neverending, a constant clash of noise that isn't unlike alina's mind, as she stares at the tactical notes laid out in front of her without truly seeing them.

she should have control over what she transmits through the earpiece, now. but it's a malformed thought that shakes loose from some miserable and lonely part of her, broadcasted before she can help it — ]

do you feel like you deserve to be here

[ in some afterlife meant to punish them, or perhaps here. existing, chasing their chances to undo a regret. even alina herself doesn't quite know which one she means. ]

Comments

text; un: stargirl

[bossily]

What if it isn't about what we deserve? What if, in the end, our being sent here really was random selection?

[She knows that isn't what Alina is really asking here.

But she refuses to believe that this many people around her believe they deserve to be here. She wisely doesn't answer the question for herself, though. At least not right away.]

[peasant]

that's not what i meant
but even if it was, viveca has all of our files. she knows everything about us

[bossily]

Why do you think you deserve to be here, Alina?

[peasant]

because
i've made so many stupid mistakes
not small or harmless ones, either
and i'm not the only one who has ended up paying the price for them

[bossily]

you said it for yourself that they're mistakes

it's not the same as intentionally causing those people harm

[peasant]

it doesn't matter
intentions don't mean anything if it means someone still gets hurt because of them

[bossily]

Intentions always matter.

Someone with good intentions doesn't walk away from a mess that they've caused. If they hurt someone, they stay and they fix the problem. They help.

You stay and help. You try to make it better.

[peasant]

then none of us are truly good people with true intentions, are we?
none of us stayed. we all leaped at the opportunity to come here for an easier path to undoing our regrets.