ximilia | {voice, un: fullmetal}

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{voice, un: fullmetal}

[The date, 3rd of October, has him feeling rather pensive again. Just as he thought he would figure dealing with Father, getting Al his body back, he is yanked back here again. It's.....frustrating, to put it lightly. As much as he wants to scream at Viv to send him back. He knows he must have been pulled back here to help. That they need him. That Ed maybe hasn't done enough. Gathered enough orbs to earn that reward yet of getting Al back. Yet.

He sits in the sunlight room, pocket watch open at his lap if anyone approaches but he does turn on the feed.]

You think this will work? Gathering the orbs? To fix things? Is it worth it? I just feel like I've been trying to fix things for so long, not just here, but back home too. I feel like I was so close, and I got pulled back here again. And I can't help wondering. With some of the missions. The goals they give us. If at some point I might get something, some line I won't want to cross. For as much as I do want to fix things.

[He sighs, shaking his head as he isn't sure what more to say in his musings. In his worries. He figures even that much might be too much. That he might end up regretting even that. So he ends it there.]

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[Clayton doesn't know this guy, and he hasn't been a part of this group long enough to have the slightest grasp of how intense these missions are, the stakes they're given, or the plausibility of any of it amounting to anything in the end. But he does hear the hurt in his voice. Nothing else is necessary for Clayton to want to step in.]

I can't speak for what you were up to back where you came from. But it sounds like you did the best you could, and you still are. Folks notice and appreciate that.

I think, no matter what happens on whatever mission, you should keep doin' that. You'll make a difference.

I did, I am doing the best I can with what I can figure. And I know Al knows that. I just -- I know it's already taken so long. And I don't want to be too late in fixing things for him. I can't allow that. I just hope I make a difference in time.

[Ed wants to try and figure keeping at it. It isn't that he has lost the motivation. He is all the more determined if anything given how close things are back home. How he is right in the thick of things. Whatever it takes.]

I reckon you will. Even if you can't do it yourself, I'm sure there's folks here who'll support you through whatever troubles you have getting there. I figure, that's why we've been hired, right? 'Cause we're all set on fixin' stuff like this?

[And Clayton believes that. Earnestly. He is very optimistic.]

I know people here have been pretty good about encouraging me, yeah. I just. I guess I can't help thinking on how long it has been. I know we are on a time limit back home.

[At the least, he knows things won't be missed back home. He'll be right back where he last recalls. The Promised Day. He gives a nod though, not that the other might necessarily be able to see that but still. Ed has always had that guilt. That it had been his idea and he should have been the one to take on that burden. He wants Al to sleep, to eat again. To feel again.]

We're trying though. To fix whatever messes we have back home to deal with. I just keep waiting on the catch.

I wouldn't worry too much 'bout the timing. If we were dropped here with...I dunno. [Imagine Clayton vaguely waving his hands around his head.] 'Space magic'--I figure they've got a way to drop us back off where we oughta be, yeah? Or, least where they found us if we don't match our end of the bargain. They got the power to do it.

[Clayton lets the implied, But are they willing to? question hang unspoken afterwards. To Ed's point, this contract feels like one that has a catch. Fixing his regret, only to drop him back at the time and place where he can't fully enjoy the consequences...that feels like almost too much of a cliché to believe.]

[Not wanting to fixate on the negatives of what he just said, Clayton instead tries to change the subject.]

So--Al. Friend? Family? Relationship?

Al's my younger brother. Family.

[Ed could care less on his own situation. Al has always been the priority, to him. Even before they figured it was something of a limit on how long his soul could remain bonded to that suit of armor. But still, he has to at least try. And presumably, given he figured Al's soul for the cost of his arm. Once that was returned, he might get it back.]

Ah. I got a brother, too--Gary. We're twins, but I always kinda looked at him like a little brother. Always runnin' around, stickin' his nose where he knows it shouldn't, bein' a pest.

[Clayton huffs an affectionate chuckle.]

What's Al like?

Gary, huh? Al and I have a year between us. Not sure how much different it'd be as twins. I do remember initially, I was all jealous since our mother gave him all the attention. Hohenheim, he told me to hold a bucket of water, saying that was how heavy I was in her stomach. That she carried me for months. That of course she cared about me too. She made me promise to look after him.

[And Ed was. Doing his best to keep to that. Even if it put Ed himself in reckless, dangerous situations such as with Scar.]

Al's great though. We still fight, and I've never beaten him. He loves cats and keeps picking up strays all the time even though I tell him we can't have pets while traveling so much. He's the bleeding heart of the two of us that wants to always stop and help. That wants to believe in others. I guess out of us, I'm more the cynic.

[Clayton's a patient listener, humming understanding and rumbling a laugh where appropriate.]

You, a cynic? I never would've guessed, hearin' how you talk about your brother.

Compared to him, I mean. I'm trying to be the responsible one, more realistic, is all. I'm the older one so I gotta look out for him.

[Not to say Ed himself isn't optimistic, isn't idealistic and naïve at times given he too is just a kid, only a year older than Alphonse. But just in comparison to how Al could be, how Al sees the world. Sees others. Their situation.]

Oh no, I get it! And it sounds like you are 'bout a lot of things. But I don't hear nothin' but hopes and sentiment when you talk about Al. Seems he brings that out in you, eh?

He's my little brother. I kind of have to look out for him.

[But it isn't wrong. That Ed does hope to fix thing for Al's sake. That he may be fine with his situation but not accept Alphonse's. He can't help but to focus more on his brother. As he figures any older brother would do as well. He gives a shrug, unsure he is all that. But it might be he is not seeing himself the same way, not reading into things so much.]

Alright, alright--I gotcha. All business, no sentiment.

[Ed can probably hear the eyeroll in Clayton's voice, but it's clearly coming from a place of gentle teasing rather than exasperation. He chuckles, trails off and sighs.]

...I miss 'em. My brother, I mean. Only been a couple weeks, but damn if I wasn't watchin' my phone the other night, just waitin'. Like he might just break all the rules and give me a call after work. Feels weird.

Yeah. I still sometimes find myself turning to tell or show or ask Al something. Not as often as when I first ended up here but. It still catches me off guard sometimes. Not hearing his clanking behind, following me.

[Ed admits. It's a rarer thing now in comparison to when he first ended up here. But it does still happen. Does still form something of a habit for him to take Al's presence for granted.]

[Clayton lets out a confused sort of chuckle.]

What, did he wear heavy boots or somethin'?

No. Armor. One of Hohenheim's old suits of armor.

[Ed's regret. In fixing things for Al. Getting his body back. He hasn't been quiet on that, not bothering to try keep it secret here. But he is aware it is a lot for most others.]

[Clayton...doesn't interpret that description the way he should. It just sounds like Al likes wearing armor, or perhaps feels like he has to all the time.]

Oh--that's kinda neat. Is he like a, uh...reenactment guy? [Then, recognizing that people on the station could come from all kinds of different planets with different scales of technology: ] Actual knight?

No. I mean. I bound his soul to the armor. After he lost his body when we tried to bring our mother back. How I lost my leg. Paid for his soul with my arm.

[Human Transmutation is not recommended. Forbidden for a reason. Now Ed just wants to fix things. Even if that doesn't mean getting her back. Seeing her smile again. He wants to at least ensure Al is back in his original body, even if that might take some time to recover from the malnutrition and all over the last few years at the Gate.]

[Oh]

[There's a long silence.]

That's...a lot. I can't imagine what kind of suffering you've been through from all that. I'm sorry for remindin' you of it.

It's okay. We all have stuff we are trying to fix, that we are here to try fix, change, for others or for ourselves. For me, it's fixing things for Al, is all. It's no secret. Not here.

[Ed still has kept quiet on some things but not on that. It isn't like Al is here for anyone to try anything with. To use Al against him in trying to blackmail Ed into behaving or something. Yet. So it's fine.]

[Clayton hums in understanding as he finally grasps the context of this whole post. His regret. No wonder.]

I'm sorry all the same. If somethin' like that happened to Gary, that'd be why I'm here, too - no question about it.

[A beat.]

I mean, it...kinda is. I guess. [Clayton shakes his head to clear it.] --Point is, I get where you're comin' from. It's rough, but...it'll be worth it. We just gotta power through for 'em.

I'm doing my best. No other choice but to keep going. I have to fix things. Have to help Al.

[That is all it comes down to. That he has to do what he can for Al. It's all Ed's life has been the last few years. Trying to make up for that mistake ever since they had tried to bring Trisha back.]

I'll get there.

I know you will. I'll be right there with ya.

[They...literally just met. Have they even formally introduced themselves? But Clayton can't help feeling for the guy's situation, and he's kind of a bleeding heart anyway, so, here we are.]

You don't have to get involved. Might be better if you don't, if some others from my home show up at least.

[He still hasn't really talked about Father. The homunculi and their plan. What they did to Hughes. But he hasn't totally outright rejected help. And has had offers to listen if and when he is ready at least. So far, that is enough. More than Ed expects and asks for.]

[Clayton sees that this isn't a hard no and runs with it.]

Nah, don't worry 'bout it. This sounds like a real sticky situation and I'd hate to leave you high 'n dry if you needed help. Consider my door always open.

{voice, un: fullmetal}

voice | un: claytonator

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