{voice, un: fullmetal}

[chrysology]

[The date, 3rd of October, has him feeling rather pensive again. Just as he thought he would figure dealing with Father, getting Al his body back, he is yanked back here again. It's.....frustrating, to put it lightly. As much as he wants to scream at Viv to send him back. He knows he must have been pulled back here to help. That they need him. That Ed maybe hasn't done enough. Gathered enough orbs to earn that reward yet of getting Al back. Yet.

He sits in the sunlight room, pocket watch open at his lap if anyone approaches but he does turn on the feed.]

You think this will work? Gathering the orbs? To fix things? Is it worth it? I just feel like I've been trying to fix things for so long, not just here, but back home too. I feel like I was so close, and I got pulled back here again. And I can't help wondering. With some of the missions. The goals they give us. If at some point I might get something, some line I won't want to cross. For as much as I do want to fix things.

[He sighs, shaking his head as he isn't sure what more to say in his musings. In his worries. He figures even that much might be too much. That he might end up regretting even that. So he ends it there.]

Comments

text; anonymous

[shishkabob]

That's really up to you. I'm hoping this works, because otherwise I'm coming back to a huge shitshow, but the kind of power that the orbs are apparently offering? I've seen how badly it can go wrong.

The risk is worth it, to me. There are people back home I have to see safe. Is it still worth it to you?

text; un: fullmetal

[chrysology]

I've been working on fixing things for -- three or four years now. If the orbs really can help. I want to try. Have to try. But I also know I have certain things I am still not willing to do in order to figure that. So it's complicated? But I know Al, my brother, wouldn't want me crossing certain lines even if it meant losing the chance to fix things.

[shishkabob]

[He can't help but think of his own brother, a bitter pang in his heart.]

You and your brother are lucky to have each other. [Because Vergil sure wouldn't hesitate to cross lines, all for the sake of power.] I know people who were all too willing to cross lines in order to obtain their goals, and all of them came to messy ends. Sometimes their goal wasn't even all it was cracked up to be.

Don't lose sight of your brother, and what he would want you to do. That probably sounds obvious and easy right now, but...power has a way of screwing with someone's head. Even the power to fix things.

[chrysology]

Yeah. I'm trying to keep to that. To what I know he would and wouldn't be okay with. In exchange for fixing things for him. It's made some missions harder. But I'm still trying. Even if it means things aren't as easy. I'd rather that than do something Al wouldn't approve of, just to fix things. There's limits.

[Even if that might seem strange. Contradictory, in being a soldier that refuses to kill.]

audio | un: kururugi

[knightof]

[ There's a delay before this reply. As a new arrival, Suzaku doesn't have much insight on the nature of their previous missions or the orbs themselves. Hearing about it from others isn't the same thing.

But he's no stranger to trying to fix things, working tirelessly towards unreachable goals. ]

If what they've promised us is true then it'll be worth it.

[ Committing himself to a path because it's the only option available, the only way to make what's already passed worth it. It's no different from back home. ]

For me, at least. I can't speak for anyone else.

audio; un: fullmetal

[chrysology]

I've just been working towards fixing things for Al for years. And I know I've made things harder on missions before, on myself, on others. Because of certain things I won't do, certain lines I won't cross.

[For all that he is a child soldier, he has not killed. Refuses to. He didn't even take a gun when offered this time with the missions, after what happened back home when he couldn't even fire Riza's when she had let him borrow one of hers.]

Not that I'm not determined. I am. I just can't help wondering on the catch.

audio;

[knightof]

[ An affirmative sound from this side of the line. Suzaku doesn't doubt that there's a catch, more so than simply the time and service required from them. But he's too new to speculate on what form it'll take. ]

There's nothing wrong with standing by your principles. Even in a situation like this. Or, maybe, especially in a situation like this. It's admirable.

[ He's crossed enough of his own lines to understand how difficult maintaining them can be. ]

Who's Al?

audio;

[chrysology]

I know Al wouldn't want to fix things if it meant others had to die in exchange. That's why we are trying to figure the harder, longer way on fixing things back home. Or, that was -- is the plan. Besides me trying to fix things here too I guess.

[Ed tries to explain. He isn't really hiding that here. Not after all this time. He is still trying to be cautious in saying too much on Father or the Homunculi and their plan in using Amestris. But still, Al at least, he has talked about.]

Alphonse. My little brother. I want to fix things for him. He lost his body, I lost my leg in exchange for us attempting to bring back our mother. I bound his soul to a suit of armor. I want to get his original body back. That's why I'm here.

audio;

[knightof]

[ Suzaku's grateful they're on audio because w-wow. That's a lot of information in a few sentences. He's been here just long enough to start accepting the impossible — magic, angels, god knows what else — but that doesn't stop him from being thrown each time. The earpiece and method of communication don't help, since he has to get his thoughts together to send them through. ]

Ah, that's... Sorry, I'm still getting used to all of this. Things that weren't possible back home.

[ Binding souls, losing bodies, bringing people back from the dead... The last one, more than the others, is difficult to wrap his head around. If it wasn't so terribly personal, he'd want to ask if their attempt was successful. ]

But it sounds like you're doing everything you can, no matter how difficult it's been. I hope it works out.

voice | un: claytonator

[dr_unconscious]

[Clayton doesn't know this guy, and he hasn't been a part of this group long enough to have the slightest grasp of how intense these missions are, the stakes they're given, or the plausibility of any of it amounting to anything in the end. But he does hear the hurt in his voice. Nothing else is necessary for Clayton to want to step in.]

I can't speak for what you were up to back where you came from. But it sounds like you did the best you could, and you still are. Folks notice and appreciate that.

I think, no matter what happens on whatever mission, you should keep doin' that. You'll make a difference.

voice;

[chrysology]

I did, I am doing the best I can with what I can figure. And I know Al knows that. I just -- I know it's already taken so long. And I don't want to be too late in fixing things for him. I can't allow that. I just hope I make a difference in time.

[Ed wants to try and figure keeping at it. It isn't that he has lost the motivation. He is all the more determined if anything given how close things are back home. How he is right in the thick of things. Whatever it takes.]

[dr_unconscious]

I reckon you will. Even if you can't do it yourself, I'm sure there's folks here who'll support you through whatever troubles you have getting there. I figure, that's why we've been hired, right? 'Cause we're all set on fixin' stuff like this?

[And Clayton believes that. Earnestly. He is very optimistic.]

[chrysology]

I know people here have been pretty good about encouraging me, yeah. I just. I guess I can't help thinking on how long it has been. I know we are on a time limit back home.

[At the least, he knows things won't be missed back home. He'll be right back where he last recalls. The Promised Day. He gives a nod though, not that the other might necessarily be able to see that but still. Ed has always had that guilt. That it had been his idea and he should have been the one to take on that burden. He wants Al to sleep, to eat again. To feel again.]

We're trying though. To fix whatever messes we have back home to deal with. I just keep waiting on the catch.

[dr_unconscious]

I wouldn't worry too much 'bout the timing. If we were dropped here with...I dunno. [Imagine Clayton vaguely waving his hands around his head.] 'Space magic'--I figure they've got a way to drop us back off where we oughta be, yeah? Or, least where they found us if we don't match our end of the bargain. They got the power to do it.

[Clayton lets the implied, But are they willing to? question hang unspoken afterwards. To Ed's point, this contract feels like one that has a catch. Fixing his regret, only to drop him back at the time and place where he can't fully enjoy the consequences...that feels like almost too much of a cliché to believe.]

[Not wanting to fixate on the negatives of what he just said, Clayton instead tries to change the subject.]

So--Al. Friend? Family? Relationship?

voice | un: m.cabrera

[naloxone]

[ it's strange. marta wonders if she ghost-spoke this, like all her fears and worries might have manifested and grown a voice of its own. ]

There was a previous team, wasn't there? I can't remember if anyone ever said what happened to them... If it worked for them.

voice; un: fullmetal

[chrysology]

Yeah. I guess there must have been at least one other team at some point. Not sure if any of us have asked Viv on what happened there though. Maybe one of the others have. But all we can do is keep trying. Hoping.

[naloxone]

[ she hates that he sounds so young. maybe that's why she refrains from sharing her own doubts and fears... he hardly needs to be burdened with more. ]

That's why we're all here, isn't it? That hope that we can fix something. My mother would call it a leap of faith.

[chrysology]

Yeah. Maybe not fixing something for us, but the ones we care about back home. At least, so far, the people I've talked to it's been something like that. Not sure there's really anyone that wouldn't have even a single thing they might regret.

[It's just part of growing up. Being human. Making mistakes. Everyone has. Or has done things even on purpose that in hindsight were not the best idea at the time. Ed's just has rather bigger stakes at hand in saving his younger brother. But he is used to being considered one of the youngest here among the station. Even back home he is mostly surrounded by adults for the most part.]

voice | un: silent

[callada]

If you don't try, you definitely won't succeed.

Up to you if that's worth it.

voice

[chrysology]

I guess. That is a good point. Won't know unless I try. I am. Still trying. Even back home, even if I am going about it the harder, longer way around. Not using the initial way I was going to, what I was at first looking for to fix things for Al. If it gets him back to normal. Get him his body back. I don't care if I keep the auto-mail arm and leg if I have to.

voice; un: clarke

[romancekiller]

[clarke finds that she often has thoughts like this wondering if any of this will even work so this resonates with her more than she'd like to admit] I hope it will but whether it's worth it or not, I think that's up to you.

voice; un: fullmetal

[chrysology]

It'll be worth it if I get Al back. I'm just still sure there's some sort of catch with the orbs somehow.

[Not like he can be sure but it is just how he has been feeling. Right from the start. That to pay for their regrets being fixed, something had to give. There has to be some sort of payment in return. But perhaps that might just be his alchemically focused mind at work in thinking of it in terms of Equivalant Exchange.]

[romancekiller]

Sounds like you've got your answer then, right? But I get it though, from all these missions and what we've had to deal with, it's left me a bit uncertain too.

[chrysology]

There's still lines I won't cross. Why Al and I are figuring another way, back home, but. Yeah. It's. Complicated and simple both at the same time. If there's a chance this works. Of course I have to go for it. At least. Back home. Nothing was without some sort of price.

[He knows that from experience. From home. Of course, it might just be him thinking of this in terms of Equivalent Exchange. But if this is for Al. He would do it. He has to at least try.]

[romancekiller]

Yeah, I know what you mean. We know this is with a price though given we're still here going on these missions.