[video] BACKDATED TO JAN. 19TH | un: newt

[groupiedrifter]

[Ah, yes, it's the half-dragon birthday boy!

He wastes no time in playing out the likely anticipated song of celebration.

Watch on YouTube

This lute is getting some mileage.

It ends on a smug, contented:]

Haaaappy biiiirthday to meeeee!

That's the second birthday in a row that we're stuck on a mission. Man. But at least this birthday wasn't me stuck on a western-themed planet where we literally ran out of food to eat. That was a real freakin' bummer. [... well, it was the worst part until the townspeople turned into ash, but we don't talk about our traumas, new bloods] You guys better tell me happy birthday by the end of the day, or I'll cast a spell on you.

.... Mmmmnah, that would be too easy.

I'll just follow you around playing nothing but the happy birthday theme.


But the point of this wasn't just to shout at the rooftops that I'm 37-years-old! I spoke with the barkeep, Fribbington? What a queen, guys; I'm so jealous of her beard. Do you know how hard it is for me to get one of those? It's borderline impossible.

Ah — Right. Like, I spoke with her, and she really does not like Jun Shortaxe. Something about being sure you and him are on the same side, because it's not always that clear. But she had a lot of good things to say about Dweyre — that he was smart as a tack, helped a lot of people while in their party, best in his group at the Knights of the Seven Sisters... that after he died, nothing was ever really the same for them. I wish I could say anything else about the conversation jumped out at me... but...

Oh!

She mentioned the heirloom was some kind of scepter.

Round and royal-like, passed down through the kings. So valuable to King Zaros that he was willing to send parties after it and into deadly situations. Apparently this kind of gig, it would have set up Fribbington and the Brigade for the rest of their days as adventurers.

Unfortunately, things went really sideways. You know.

But uh! Yeah, that's all I got. I gotta admit, I've never been very good at finding the little details when it comes to things like this — maybe that's the ADHD talking. Either way, I'm almost done with the Ballard of Dweyre, so make sure you stop by the tavern and give a listen.

... Also, like. Cake. I want cake this birthday.

Someone around here has to have cake.

And I've also got an important questionnaire for everyone, by the way; no rush to finish it, it's just a little something to pass the time. Especially you new people. New people are required to fill this out.

[Anyone who knows him knows he's full of shit. But the text file comes through:]


NAME:
DATE OF BIRTH:
FAVORITE MOVIES:
FAVORITE FOODS:
FAVORITE MUSIC:

What’s your claim to fame?

How do you like to spend your free time?

What skill would you like to master? 

What is your proudest accomplishment? 

What is your biggest pet peeve?

What is the most useless talent you have? 

If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

Are you a cat or a dog person?

Do you sing in the shower?

If you only had 5 minutes in a grocery store, what would you buy?

Which body part do you wish you could detach and why?

If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?

If police arrested you with no explanation, what would your friends assume you had done?

Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

Comments

text; un: romanoff

[deaddrop]

Since it's your birthday.

NAME: Natasha Romanoff
DATE OF BIRTH: 12/3/84
FAVORITE MOVIES: Actually, I think you owe me a movie.
FAVORITE FOODS: Hard liquor & potato chips.
FAVORITE MUSIC: Still Tchaikovsky.

What’s your claim to fame? Natural redhead.

How do you like to spend your free time? Bold of you to assume I have free time.

What skill would you like to master? Palm reading.

What is your proudest accomplishment? Pass.

What is your biggest pet peeve? Expresso.

What is the most useless talent you have? I can resist the temptation of a warm pie.

If you had a warning label, what would yours say? ⚠️⚡

Are you a cat or a dog person? Guess.

Do you sing in the shower? Only if I have an audience.

If you only had 5 minutes in a grocery store, what would you buy? Hard liquor & potato chips.

Which body part do you wish you could detach and why? You know if you really wanted to detach part of your body, you could.

If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? What makes you think I haven't already?

If police arrested you with no explanation, what would your friends assume you had done? My friends know it was a set up.

Can you touch your nose with your tongue? Shit. Now I have to go back and change my useless talent.

[It is safe to assume that at least a third of these are complete fabrications, and people recall her previous responses might recognize that.]

[heroooic]

[There wasn't a single response to this that Finn doesn't want to comment on, but one in particular stands out above all the others.]

PASS!? c'mon nattle! get your pride on!!

[deaddrop]

We're going to have to work on that nickname.

Believe me, it's pass for a reason.

[heroooic]

haha no way, it's cute! and why? if you're proud of something, you should be able to say it out loud.

[deaddrop]

Sometimes having something to be proud of gets a little more complicated than that.

And nattle sounds like a snitch.

text-->video;

[heroooic]

[Finn reads over her reasoning a couple times, puzzling on it. He couldn't deny she had a point. Still, something about her words made him feel so... strange and sad, the cause floating just outside his grasp.]

i guess that's true. you're not a nattle-tale. what about...

[He goes silent for a moment, before snapping his fingers and switching to video. Finn appears to be settled beside a large tree in the forest with a half eaten lunch beside him, foraging around in some greenery. He snaps his fingers again, holding up a small handful of saw-toothed edged leaves.]

Nettle! It grows everywhere around here, we used it back home too. Everybody thinks it's super dangerous, but it's actually really good for you. Better than a snitch, right Nettle?

video; un: romanoff

[deaddrop]

[Natasha switches to video to follow his lead, her expression somewhere between skeptical and amused.

Finn is just young enough, and acts just young enough, to register as a kid and get some latitude for that. But he's also here, and old enough to be expected to comport himself in particular ways.

So she doesn't react quite the way she would if, say, Tony or Quill had called her that.

On the other hand they'd probably have gotten amused skepticism to, depending on the circumstances.]

So I'm a plant now, hm. Are you implying I'm not really dangerous?

[heroooic]

Nah. But it's cute, like I said. Cuteness is really important when you pick nicknames.

[Finn grins, tossing the nettles over his shoulder before settling back against the tree. Natasha may have been fun to poke at -- especially because she was always so ready to give back as good as she gave -- but there was something deeper to the nickname for Finn, even if just subconsciously. Something that made him feel strange and sad the in nearly the same way Natasha's words had.

For a moment, it seems like the teenager would simply resume his lunch and shift the conversation to something else entirely. Maybe even continue the Natasha v. Nettle debate. Instead, his expression takes a turn for the thoughtful.]

What did you mean earlier by 'complicated'?

[deaddrop]

[The nickname conversation had been a better one. She'd sort of hoped it'd divert him.

No such luck though.

Natasha shrugs a little. It's not a question that's easy to answer, but she'll do her best.]

Let's say you rescued someone. Saved them from something awful. Let's say their town got attacked by a dragon and they were kidnapped, but you outsmarted the dragon and rescued them, safe and sound. That's something to be proud of, right?

But you only had the opportunity because something bad happened, and the person you saved might rightly point out that while their town is still flattened. Not exactly the kind of thing they'd like to hear someone crowing about.

You follow me?

[heroooic]

[For a moment, Finn could've sworn he was listening to Billy speak. The old hero of legend he'd grown up idolizing had become similarly disillusioned over the years, walling himself into his home and allowing the empty hole inside him to grow day by day. Finn was so much younger then, pushing back against the thought with every fiber of his being.

Saving someone was always worth it, that's what he'd always believed. What he still believed. But...

Complicated. That's what she'd meant, wasn't it? He chews his sandwich thoughtfully, watching her for a moment of quiet.]

But you still saved them. Without you, they'd be dragon chow.

[deaddrop]

And glad I did. It's not exactly that I'm not proud of things I've accomplished, but the things I'm most proud of tend to leave the biggest flattened villages.

[It's not exactly a perfect analogy, but the whole point of not answering the question to start with is avoiding getting into the weeds with specifics.]

A lot of my best work is damage control. Or generously, making the best of a bad situation.

[heroooic]

[Finn takes another bite of his sandwich, more to give himself time to chew her words over than anything. He was aware enough to know this was an abstracted conversation, probably ghosting up against the truth rather than fully depicting it.

He fixes her with a thoughtful look, nibbling on a bit of crust.]

I think I get it. [Or at least a version of it.] But I also think it's worth being proud of making something bad a little better for someone, even if it's just one person. Maybe you don't have to post about it in front of everybody, but... I bet you've probably still got a lot to be proud of, y'know?

public > private

[deaddrop]

[There's a brief pause as Natasha considers and eventually opts to take the conversation private.

Some things don't need to be available to everyone.]

If you're worried about it, I promise, there are things I'm proud of. Just the things that are the most worth being proud of are also the most tied up with other things.

We're all here because we have things we regret, right?

[groupiedrifter]

Ah, shit, do I owe you a movie?
Maybe I do.
What movie were you thinking?

Also

I'm gonna guess you're a cat person.

[deaddrop]

How do you feel about James Bond?

It's true. My sister will be very disappointed.

[groupiedrifter]

She's a dog person, and you're a cat person?
God, it just makes so much sense.

James Bond is pretty cool! I keep hoping he'll show up here.
Is that weird? I mean, he's GOTTA be real in some universe.
I have LISTS of people who are fictional in my world that I wanna see here.

[deaddrop]

She is absolutely a dog person. I think that's too much commitment for me.

It's a little weird. Especially considering he's been played by different actors.

You could always make that your birthday wish, but you can't be disappointed if it's Timothy Dalton Bond who shows up and not Sean Connery.

[groupiedrifter]

I'm gonna be really scandalous here, really shocking, but

Daniel Craig Bond would be nice



I mean, I just
Daniel Craig's face... is all I'm saying...
they shouldn't allow eyes that blue..........

[he shall sit consumed with lust]

[deaddrop]

Now that does sound like a birthday wish.

Tell you what, Daniel Craig Bond shows up, I'll give you first go at it.

Happy Birthday.

[groupiedrifter]

.... Nat....... are you SURE?

That's such a big gift to give someone
like, I want to make sure you thought it through, it's so monumental.

[deaddrop]

Who'd I be to stand in your way when you get stars in your eyes like that.

[Can she see his eyes? No. Does that change anything? Also no.]

[groupiedrifter]

In that case, you need to tell me a big deal character-in-your-world-but-not-in-others that you get dibs on if they show up and have a thing for cute redheads.

[deaddrop]

Everyone has a thing for cute redheads.

Are you asking me about my fictional crushes, Newt?

[groupiedrifter]

You say that until Ronald McDonald rolls up to the joint

And of COURSE I'm asking you about your fictional crushes, it's only one of the best topics to discuss among amigos!

[deaddrop]

If Ronald McDonald shows up, I'll admit that I'm wrong.

What if none of my crushes were fictional? Then things could get awful awkward if I told you and they showed up.