Video | welcome, hallo, buenos días, ohayō, etc, etc! | UN: Newt

[groupiedrifter]

[Newt comes shuffling into view on the screen, holding a cup of coffee in his hand with a bag of what seems to be Sour Patch Kids harrowingly hanging out from beneath the pinky finger of the very same hand. Disheveled but more than happy to provide his services after dragging himself out of bed, he taps his knuckle on the chalkboard beside him — one that used to be Hermann Gottlieb's, may he rest in peace (in a not dead way — may he rest in peace on a beach or something while wholly alive and thriving).]

Noticed an influx of new and kinda-new faces over the last few days or weeks or whatever.

So here's my handy dandy welcome board! Recently updated, to keep with the times.

Read it over and get a feel for how this place goes; I'm gonna finish off this coffee before I take any questions.

[As he takes the world's most obnoxious-sounding sip and burns his tongue, here's the board in question:]



[And then, after a bit of time, he turns the board over to the other side:]



[No worries, current crew, if you can't get one of those introduction papers in person!

Because he's attached them in file format, too.]



[And in case you wanted a text format copy:

Name:
Age:
Birthday:
Favorite color:
Favorite food:
Favorite subject:
Favorite toy:
Favorite animal:
Favorite candy:
Favorite activity:
Favorite place:
Favorite book:
Favorite TV show:
Favorite movie:
I am good at:
I want to learn:
Least favorite subject:
Place I want to go:
If I could make one wish, it would be:
If I could have one superpower, it would be:
This is what I want my teacher to know about me:

(Have at it — threadjacking is encouraged).]

Comments

[peasant]

oh, passable. you hold me in such high regard.

[ written word dulls the sharp knife's point of sarcasm — and the slice of irritation beneath, besides, a red and raw scrape across her confidence. funny, that; two years and some change ago, she would have shuddered under ravka's lofty expectations. would have recanted their worship. but in the face of nikolai deeming her adequate, at best —

her insides twist, something darker coiling at the brazenness of that disrespect. she ignores it, charges forward without examination, for fear of what it may say of her growing comfort with power. with fealty. with the anticipation she will be obeyed, admired, acknowledged. ]

i've already punched you once. i'd never be so unimaginative the second time around.
you know, when you say all that, you almost make it sound like you were always expecting you would one day replace your brother.

[ravkas]

our predecessors don't hold a very high bar for us to meet.

[ in truth, he thinks alina is exactly what ravka needs — raw, unpolished, and born outside of the gilded walls of the palace. and grisha. but learning which fork to use at dinner won't kill her, either.

the accusation takes him by surprise, not because it isn't true, but because he isn't expecting it from her. ]

i was. vasily would have run the country into worse ruin than my father. i would be complicit if i sat idle and watched that.
are you asking if i would have killed him for the throne? it's a moot point now. don't tell me you would have preferred him.

cw: allusions to sexual abuse

[peasant]

worse than your father is a high bar for vasily to have met.

[ vasily had lorded his shadow over her like a python, waiting to squeeze her into compliance — but king pyotr had been a different breed of monster altogether. a creature of old lore, slithering into the beds of unsuspecting women — reigning over their bodies and their nightmares, more than he had ever reigned over ravka in its entirety.

the mere memory of it sets her on a course toward sickness, sloshing around in her stomach. she swallows down the nausea, forces herself to confront that one accusation that's underlined her responses — ]

if that's what you assumed i was asking, i'm certain i already have my answer.
but you know i have to ask. were you?

[ intending to. there's shockingly little amount of judgment, just yet; had she not deposed the darkling just the same, ruthless and efficient at the end? vasily's greatest crime had been his foolishness, yes, but it's as nikolai says — the whole of his family has been complicit. vasily would have only been another fist pummeling grisha into the dirt.

his was no great death to mourn, in the end. ]

[ravkas]

[ it's a burden he'll carry to his grave, the lantsov name and the legacy it carries. and it's not even mine. he's already made mistakes — allowing his father to skirt a trial that would have seen him hang is a decision he has to live with now, knowing daily he chose what served him best and not what was right. even he, after everything, doesn't have the mettle to watch his parents die.

he doesn't know, exactly, what the right thing is to say. he hadn't spent a great deal of time mourning his brother's death. he mostly mourned what might have been — the idea of a brother that actually liked him, a brother he could look up to. and yet, if it came down to it, would he have been able to put a bullet between his eyes? if it came down to vasily or ravka, what sort of king would he be if he couldn't?

what sort of king would he be if he could? ]

there are other ways to get what you want than cold blooded murder. i'm very innovative, after all.
i can't help who my family is, alina. all i can do is try to be better than them.

that's what i want with you, sunshine.

[groupiedrifter]

You're shitting me!
Wait, are you a cyborg? Or cybernetic? Are you concentrated magical energy?
What timezone is the clock set to? Is it accurate?
How does the fire not melt your face or burn your clothes?

[groupiedrifter]

Oh, man. Just love living on the edge, huh?

[groupiedrifter]

Oh, right. Knowhere! Like where Peter's from.
What's it like? Lots of species you said, right? I'm so jealous.
Traveling around and cataloguing new species or cultures has been one of the best things that's ever happened ever to me ever.

[yes he wrote it that way on purpose.]

[groupiedrifter]

Of course!

Which is why things accidentally explode or light on fire sometimes.

[groupiedrifter]

I dunno man, I think you've just been lucky not to catch me doing it yet. I've been getting better at not doing it, though! What's that annoying saying teachers always said? 'Think before you speak'?

text;

[groupiedrifter]

Hey, Totoro is practically a kaiju!
Everyone knows I love a giant monster.
Especially ones that don't try to eat me.

But action packed is good, too!
Just
maybe there's plenty enough action these days as it is

[groupiedrifter]

Yeah but you could do me a favor and draw ugly on purpose just once to make me feel like a master artist!

[groupiedrifter]

Oh, I've got a LIST of things I'm waiting for the perfect moment to say.
It's a struggle, being me. 😞🎉

[groupiedrifter]

I'm in there like EVERY DAY, you'll probably hear me from down the hall if I'm getting my guitar jam sessions in! Just stop in any time.

Also, only temporarily half-dragon.
Turning back 100% human again was a huge bummer. :(
I had a tail and scales and little wings, I was AWESOME.

[groupiedrifter]

That's one of the things that freaks me out most.
Not remembering any of you guys, when it's over.

[groupiedrifter]

Because kaiju are AWESOME!
Like how you have total heart eyes for giant mecha! 👹👹👹

[groupiedrifter]

Because people love trolling me when they get the chance.
It's some people's favorite hobbies around here. Just ask Jake.
So. You're friends with someone named Herlock Shlomes.
Is there a Wohn Jatson, too, or what?

[groupiedrifter]

Pretty much, yep.
Only the pieces you're putting back together are all individualized DICKHEADS WHO SCREW WITH YOU FOR FUNSIES.

[groupiedrifter]

... Dude, you gotta lighten up.

[groupiedrifter]

🥺😭💀 I'm turning into the crypt keeper day by day.....

[groupiedrifter]

You got it, pal!

[Oh, uh!]

那好吧, 回头见!

[godslain]

You mean with the Ximilia?

[durante]

Hang on, that's a lot of questions at once!

[this flies out via thoughts, sent too quickly for Dante to review and filter it, already flustered.]

Some of those I'd be more comfortable answering in person!

[peasant]

so you want us to draw OURSELVES as ugly as possible?
that's a bit rude, don't you think

video;

[softshoes]

[Okay, trolling from Jake, he believes, so he turns on the video just to show Newt his very serious not at all trolling expression.]

Very funny, Newt. The character's name was John Wilson, actually: you were close.

[What is this reverse name universe everyone is from???]

Please don't tell me you'll need evidence before you believe me.

[softshoes]

Medicine. Forensic pathology, to be specific. It is my profession to study the causes and mechanisms of death, in other words.

Although, I'm using some of my more general skills in the infirmary right now.

[Hopefully they won't need the forensic part of his job too much here.]