Video | welcome, hallo, buenos días, ohayō, etc, etc! | UN: Newt

[groupiedrifter]

[Newt comes shuffling into view on the screen, holding a cup of coffee in his hand with a bag of what seems to be Sour Patch Kids harrowingly hanging out from beneath the pinky finger of the very same hand. Disheveled but more than happy to provide his services after dragging himself out of bed, he taps his knuckle on the chalkboard beside him — one that used to be Hermann Gottlieb's, may he rest in peace (in a not dead way — may he rest in peace on a beach or something while wholly alive and thriving).]

Noticed an influx of new and kinda-new faces over the last few days or weeks or whatever.

So here's my handy dandy welcome board! Recently updated, to keep with the times.

Read it over and get a feel for how this place goes; I'm gonna finish off this coffee before I take any questions.

[As he takes the world's most obnoxious-sounding sip and burns his tongue, here's the board in question:]



[And then, after a bit of time, he turns the board over to the other side:]



[No worries, current crew, if you can't get one of those introduction papers in person!

Because he's attached them in file format, too.]



[And in case you wanted a text format copy:

Name:
Age:
Birthday:
Favorite color:
Favorite food:
Favorite subject:
Favorite toy:
Favorite animal:
Favorite candy:
Favorite activity:
Favorite place:
Favorite book:
Favorite TV show:
Favorite movie:
I am good at:
I want to learn:
Least favorite subject:
Place I want to go:
If I could make one wish, it would be:
If I could have one superpower, it would be:
This is what I want my teacher to know about me:

(Have at it — threadjacking is encouraged).]

Comments

[peasant]

white isn't a color. it's a shade.

[ is this know-it-all retrbution after all of his know-it-allism? survey says yes. ]

[dispassioned]

Hm. I suppose you have a point.

What about ivory?

[peasant]

i thought cats preferred cream as a color.

[ badumtsh. ]

[dispassioned]

[Ok. Ok, ok, ok. They can both be know it alls here.]

They prefer it as a treat and it's bad for them.

[peasant]

speaking from firsthand experience, i presume.

[dispassioned]

[Well, Asians do tend to be lactose intolerant, but.]

Just science.

[She's getting good at trolling though.]

[peasant]

i'll be sure not to feed you any ice cream, in that case.

[dispassioned]

Looking out for me, are you?

Or do you just want the ice cream to yourself?

[peasant]

my intentions are strictly benevolent
😇

[dispassioned]

Then, what will you feed me instead?

[peasant]

if you're expecting me to cook, ice cream might be the safer choice

[dispassioned]

[It's too bad amusement doesn't translate over text because he's definitely amused.]

No, I'm the one that owes you a meal.

[peasant]

that's true
i'm still waiting on you to deliver
🍳 🥘 🍲 🫕 🥣

[dispassioned]

Don't worry, it will be worth the wait.

[He's just a perfectionist, don't mind him.]

[peasant]

that's a bold claim to make from mister "i'm good at anything i want to be good at"

[dispassioned]

Is it? I would say it's being honest.

[Obviously if he's good at anything he wants to be, and wants to be good at cooking, then the cooking will be worth waiting for.]

[peasant]

[ reeking of humbleness, here. ]

oh, so you're mysteriously good at everything you try?

[dispassioned]

[Did she truly expect anything else?]

Not immediately. But I’m dedicated to getting good.

[peasant]

no one is good at ANYTHING and EVERYTHING
i think your ego is greatly exaggerating

[dispassioned]

But when did I say I was good at anything and everything?

[peasant]

now you're just trying fancy wordplay on me

[dispassioned]

Ah, maybe, but it's true. I know you're aware of some of the things I'm not good at.

[He has, in fact, even admitted some weaknesses to her.

However, he has also noticed her answers to the survey.]

I didn't realize our birthdays were so close together.

[Because it's never come up before, but guess who's filing away that bit of information now.]

[peasant]

you're not good at not being good at something.

[ nailed it. ]

It never had reason to come up, really.

[dispassioned]

[She has a point, though.]

Well, you're not wrong.

[It does bother him when he's not good at something he wants to be good at.]

Ah, that's true. I don't think about mine often.

[peasant]

you have months to start thinking about it now. newt likes to make a big deal out of them all.

[ rest in fucking pieces in that case, chishiya. you fell for newton's trap card. ]