Video | welcome, hallo, buenos días, ohayō, etc, etc! | UN: Newt

[groupiedrifter]

[Newt comes shuffling into view on the screen, holding a cup of coffee in his hand with a bag of what seems to be Sour Patch Kids harrowingly hanging out from beneath the pinky finger of the very same hand. Disheveled but more than happy to provide his services after dragging himself out of bed, he taps his knuckle on the chalkboard beside him — one that used to be Hermann Gottlieb's, may he rest in peace (in a not dead way — may he rest in peace on a beach or something while wholly alive and thriving).]

Noticed an influx of new and kinda-new faces over the last few days or weeks or whatever.

So here's my handy dandy welcome board! Recently updated, to keep with the times.

Read it over and get a feel for how this place goes; I'm gonna finish off this coffee before I take any questions.

[As he takes the world's most obnoxious-sounding sip and burns his tongue, here's the board in question:]



[And then, after a bit of time, he turns the board over to the other side:]



[No worries, current crew, if you can't get one of those introduction papers in person!

Because he's attached them in file format, too.]



[And in case you wanted a text format copy:

Name:
Age:
Birthday:
Favorite color:
Favorite food:
Favorite subject:
Favorite toy:
Favorite animal:
Favorite candy:
Favorite activity:
Favorite place:
Favorite book:
Favorite TV show:
Favorite movie:
I am good at:
I want to learn:
Least favorite subject:
Place I want to go:
If I could make one wish, it would be:
If I could have one superpower, it would be:
This is what I want my teacher to know about me:

(Have at it — threadjacking is encouraged).]

Comments

[buckkeep]

We do?

( possibly the very best news he's ever heard, ever. )

I'll look forward to meeting him. And thank you for the welcome. ( so weird not to know anyone's titles or honorifics. awkwardly delayed — ) My lord.

[softshoes]

[my lord................]

Er, just "Professor Mikotoba" is all right.

His name is Jake, by the way. I'll spare you the surprise and let you know that he can speak. [and buddy does that dog like the sound of his voice (affectionate) (derogatory) (affectionate)] It's quite normal in his world.

[buckkeep]

( professor ooo la la

anyway, fitz's curiosity is piqued, although he's maybe more understanding of the concept of a talking dog than one might expect. to him all dogs speak, though not in any language understandable to most other people. still — )

He speaks with words?

[softshoes]

Rather eloquently too, if he likes.

[He assumes that, like in his own world, a talking animal is a novelty and Fitz is only trying to clarify.]

[buckkeep]

( "eloquent" is not exactly how fitz would've described nighteyes — though the idea of calling him graceless is a far worse sin. )

Then he is ... well trained?

[softshoes]

[Thank god he has enough control of the earpiece right now, because he reads that and literally laughs out loud. Jake the Dog. Well trained.]

It isn't like that at all. He's perfectly sentient-- and in dog years, he's actually near our age.

[buckkeep]

( for several reasons this is Concerning to fitz .............. although he's never met a dog that could speak, audibly, using human language. so maybe it's not the bad thing he's thinking that it is, but logic has never once held a candle to his own impulse in assuming the worst. )

Dog years? I've never heard of such a thing.

[softshoes]

Ah, I should say-- in terms of maturity, a dog of his age might be comparable to a man in his 40s or older, as opposed to a human teenager.

[Come to think of it, 17 is pretty old for a dog. Not something he wishes to contemplate too deeply: and anyhow, if a dog can talk and stretch his body like putty, it's likely his species is longer lived than a garden variety pet.]

[buckkeep]

( convo be so weird ... not only because talking dog, but because apparently he sees this jake as more of a fellow than a companion. so strange. and yet for fitz, who is oftentimes more wolf than person, it kind of makes him smile. )

You regard him as your equal, then?

[softshoes]

[It's a ridiculous suggestion, or it would have been a bit under a year ago, before he arrived here.]

I've always thought that people weren't quite so different from one another, across nations and cultures. It turns out that is equally true, applied to new worlds and different intelligent species.

Which is to say that, yes, I do.

[buckkeep]

That seems a very wise thing to say.

( fitz isn't sure he entirely agrees about the lack of differences between people, but he understands the sentiment. bodies are flesh and bone across universes — sometimes they're fur, too. if the other side of fitz's soul happens to howl at the moon, it seems as natural to him as opposable thumbs and words.

and this furry creature at least has one of those things. he's curious. )

I'm sorry, you mentioned earlier that you're an educator of sorts? In what subject, if I may ask?

[softshoes]

Medicine. Forensic pathology, to be specific. It is my profession to study the causes and mechanisms of death, in other words.

Although, I'm using some of my more general skills in the infirmary right now.

[Hopefully they won't need the forensic part of his job too much here.]

text; un: jtd

[doooooog]

you wanna hear eloquent? check this out:

File transfer initiated: jakesguidetolife.mp3

[softshoes]

I don't download suspicious files from strange dogs.

[in the distance you may have heard .5 seconds of whoopie cushion sounds.]

[doooooog]

the secrets of life are lost on incurious minds like yours, homie.

[ In the distance, you definitely hear significantly more seconds of Jake loudly laughing at his own hilarious jokes. Must be a day ending in Y. ]