Video | welcome, hallo, buenos días, ohayō, etc, etc! | UN: Newt

[groupiedrifter]

[Newt comes shuffling into view on the screen, holding a cup of coffee in his hand with a bag of what seems to be Sour Patch Kids harrowingly hanging out from beneath the pinky finger of the very same hand. Disheveled but more than happy to provide his services after dragging himself out of bed, he taps his knuckle on the chalkboard beside him — one that used to be Hermann Gottlieb's, may he rest in peace (in a not dead way — may he rest in peace on a beach or something while wholly alive and thriving).]

Noticed an influx of new and kinda-new faces over the last few days or weeks or whatever.

So here's my handy dandy welcome board! Recently updated, to keep with the times.

Read it over and get a feel for how this place goes; I'm gonna finish off this coffee before I take any questions.

[As he takes the world's most obnoxious-sounding sip and burns his tongue, here's the board in question:]



[And then, after a bit of time, he turns the board over to the other side:]



[No worries, current crew, if you can't get one of those introduction papers in person!

Because he's attached them in file format, too.]



[And in case you wanted a text format copy:

Name:
Age:
Birthday:
Favorite color:
Favorite food:
Favorite subject:
Favorite toy:
Favorite animal:
Favorite candy:
Favorite activity:
Favorite place:
Favorite book:
Favorite TV show:
Favorite movie:
I am good at:
I want to learn:
Least favorite subject:
Place I want to go:
If I could make one wish, it would be:
If I could have one superpower, it would be:
This is what I want my teacher to know about me:

(Have at it — threadjacking is encouraged).]

Comments

[ravkas]

and she never mentioned a handsome prince giving her a giant emerald and his hand in marriage?

can you? i also pilot things. i apprenticed with a marvelous civil engineer and learned to build them, too. things that fly, i mean. planes that fly. and ships that fly.

[laviny]

No. I already told you that.

I think she had a thing with Rhysand, who was like faery royalty or something, though. But they weren’t married. Probably.

Anyway, I didn’t know Ravka had planes. Are your ships space ships?

[ravkas]

oh. faery royalty. well, that's nice.












not to pry, but is she not with mal? romantically? in a star-crossed "i can't live without my daily brooding session" sort of way?

they're not space ships. i kept a telescope out on the terrace to watch the stars, but never got around to constructing a ship that would go quite that far. parts are scarce, so i'd have to hire thieves to get raw materials, and that's highly frowned upon once you're king.

[laviny]

Okay, isn’t that the sort of thing you should ask one of them? I know them and I like them, but I can’t tell you what their relationship is like. They don’t talk about that with me.

Ohhh. I get it now. You are very arrogant and rich, and you like technology and inventing things. You are like Ravka's Tony Stark. I get it, I get it.

[If Tony Stark were also a ruler, which is a terrible thought, actually.]

Too bad about the space ships, though.

[ravkas]

so they're clearly not in a good place, or they're in no place at all. trust me, you would know if things were going swimmingly. you would see it. over and over again. endlessly.

you say those things like they're bad.

[laviny]

I would point out to you that this is public and they can see you saying that, but you just got yelled at, so you’ve probably noticed.

Being arrogant is kind of bad, yes. Being rich can also be bad, depending on what you do with it. Liking technology is fine, though.

[ravkas]

well, i've never seen mal read anything in his life.

we need rich people around so they can continue to hire you to assassinate all the people they dislike. i won't be hiring you, but i generally support the freedom to work. yours is a bit questionable, though.

[laviny]

That’s rude. That is a rude thing to say. This is why arrogance is bad.

Well, you know, I’ve been doing it since I was 6, my options are limited. It’s a specific skill set.

[ravkas]

i'll make sure to apologize the next time i see him.

you can fly. do you know how many people can't fly? we don't need a specific number. it's a lot.
in ravka, everyone is drafted into the army. everyone is taught to kill. very few can fly.

[laviny]

I can’t fly. I can make a plane fly. And it may be a rare skill in your world, but it is common enough where I’m from. People do it as a hobby.

[ravkas]

if you want to kill people, that's perfectly reasonable. i have my fair share of blood on my hands and i can't say i enjoy the feeling. but if you want to do something else, your options aren't limited unless you're dead. and you seem very much alive.
you can sell yourself short if you want, miss — you never told me your name — but i'd rather not.

[laviny]

Yelena Belova.

Are you giving me a pep talk?

text / un: solnishka

[peasant]

THIS IS STILL PUBLIC

[ boi why are you like this. ]

Text; un: belova

[laviny]

Is he always like this?

[peasant]

all the time, unfortunately
someone let him off his leash for too long

[laviny]

Oh. Well. My condolences.

[peasant]

💀

[ that's it. that's the text. ]

text — un: SOBACHKA

[ravkas]

alina!

well. i suppose i could've just asked you, but it never felt appropriate. also, faeries are real?

[peasant]

gossiping about it on the network was appropriate?

[ ]

no, he was my imaginary friend
of course faeries are real. are you honestly surprised?

[ravkas]

i wouldn't call it gossip. it was more like investigative research.

[ is alina mad fr take 200000000 ]

i've never truly considered it, but having taken a moment to do so, no, i'm not surprised.
royalty? would this be considered a type for you?

[peasant]

i'm going to tell the entire ship you've a fear of spiders in clown paint, then
call it "investigative research". these are important facts to know about you

[ saints please smite her and kill her now. ]

no
i'm simply blinded by giant, shiny gemstones, like a bird

[ravkas]

if i agree to this heinous crime against me, will you level with me?
what's going on between you and mal?

i would be concerned if i started sharing personality traits with kaz brekker.

perma- private🔒➡️

[peasant]

[ because one of them has to be wary of scrutiny, she takes the time to seal off this conversation from prying eyes. doubtlessly kirigan is watching, conspiring, hoping to spy some weakening crevice he can slither back into; she won't allow him the easy luxury of nestling in this particular wound. ]

not that it's any of your business but nothing's happening, as you well know

[ravkas]

[ it is his business. why wouldn't it be? they are friends, after all, the three of them, after all they've been through, although it certainly feels like he's been shut out of something remarkably important. what had fitz said that was so unbearably aggravating? that a king doesn't have friends? even if there was an ounce of truth in that statement (yes), there are still loopholes to everything in life. alina, after having seen the darkest parts of him, is his loophole.

should be, anyway. or he should stop assigning weight where it can't hold. ]

specificity is an astonishing skill. never to be used in politics, but quite helpful in casual conversation.
i don't well know. i thought the opposite of "nothing" was happening for you two.

[peasant]

there is no such thing as casual conversation for kings or saints.

[ first and foremost. court has wielded that lesson well — taught her the weight of a misplaced tongue, and the power of a well-placed word. never mind nikolai lantsov's penchant for dodging specificity as though it were tar and feathers lobbed in his direction.

(he's always been nimble-footed when the truth catches up to his shadow.)

still. there's something to be said for the precarious nature of a crown, dangling on the edges of so-called casual conversation. hers, more precisely; mal is gone. nikolai and ravka are all she has left. there's no need to endanger that next. ]

mal made his stance quite clear when he left.
have you suffered any smacks to the head lately, or has your memory always been this poor?