text / audio | un: newt

[groupiedrifter]

Alright, let's not be total wallflowers at prom here, if we're going to be stuck together for the foreseeable future, I think it's only right that we (read: I) start getting to know all of my fellow space cadets. If we're ACTUALLY in space and this isn't some humongous simulation. You guys saw how easy it was for this place to manufacture a hyper-realistic simulation earlier, right? Yikes, big yikes.

But if we ARE in space and we're going to be traveling around, that's actually kind of AWESOME.

No offense to anyone who didn't want to actually be here of course, but you're nuts if you're not a LITTLE curious about the vast expanse of outer space. C'mon. OUTER SPACE! How incredible is that? And here I thought me coming face to face with aliens back home was INCREDIBLE, now we've got ACTUAL OUTER SPACE??? Pinch me I'm in a simulation. LOL.

Sorry I'm rambling, my name's Newt. Dr. Newton Geiszler, but but that sounds so much more boring and overcomplicated than 'Newt', so just stick with that. Worked as a xenobiologist on earth (is there multiple earths or what??? a lot of you are crazy unfamiliar with Kaiju, which is wild to me), helped giant robots fight aliens, the usual. Likes are rock music, playing instruments, tattoos, science and tech, dislikes are bossy pushovers who complain about those things.

Speaking of which, my really good pal from home's name is Hermann Gottlieb, and you should call him Herm to make him REALLY feel at home. :)

It's nice to meet you guys on the NEWTwork. ;P

... Actually—

[Suddenly, the text turns into audio, in which a higher voice with some focal fry bleeds in-]

—can I just abruptly switch to an audio function?

[A pause, and then an excitable:]

Holy shit, how awesome is that?! This is amazing; we've made some pretty monumental gains in technology back home, but we're still working on finessing the finer aspects of neuralogically connecting to networks like these for the general population. I'd love to take one of these apart sometime and see what makes them tick. Good to have an idea of what to expect, in case we need modifications or repairs done at any point.

Anyway. Uh. Hey!

... This whole voices-in-your-head thing can't be good for my train of thought, but geronimo, right?

[If anyone listens beyond that, they may catch the accidental thought-to-audio that follows:]

Wha — oh, dammit.

I sure hope this is the last nosebleed, because I would rather not worry about having accidental brain damage from drifting with aliens.

Comments

audio; awkwardly charms monsters by accident tbh

[groupiedrifter]

[He snorts.]

You know, I get that sometimes. But hey, it's way better than being boring.

[With some small measure of hope, he adds:]

... Does that mean you're not human? Because if you're not human, we've gotta talk. I need to know there are anthropoids around that aren't trying to eat me or abduct me or stomp on me! [He clasps his hands together, wringing them, the sound small and slight beyond his rambling.] Hell, they don't have to be anthropoids! They could be a big blob with an eyeball and mouth for all I care! It's all I've wanted for the last decade, dude.

[Maybe some of his post-Kaiju drift funk can be dimmed by this exciting concept. Not that he's going to admit he's been having nightmares about the drift and what happened in Hong Kong. Focus ahead! Move forward! There's more than just the Kaiju now, right? Right!]

audio --> video;

[skelepun]

[He could not argue with that. There was something about this guy -- maybe the enthusiasm, the lack of shame, or just the talkativeness -- that reminded Sans of someone.

Not that Newt could hold a candle to the person in question -- who could? Still, even putting him in the same league was pretty high praise as far as Sans was concerned.

Which is maybe why he decides to indulge him, switching to video before he even really realizes that's what he's doing.]

Got the big blob part covered. [Sans holds up two bony fingers, pointing them towards his eye sockets.] No eyeballs though, sorry pal.

[Think less Toho, more Harryhausen.]

video; 1/2

[groupiedrifter]

video;

[groupiedrifter]

You're a skeleton-man.

That is — so badass! That is the coolest! You look amazing! Holy shit, are you from a clan of skeletons?! Did you have skin at some point?! What's your opinion on organs?! Do you ever misplace your phalanges???

[... Sans does get an video image back, of course!

... It's a guy who looks exactly how you think he'd look.

It you with DETERMINATION.]

1/2

[skelepun]

video; 2/2

[skelepun]

[Whether it was weird or ego-boosting, Sans didn't... nah. Nah, that's not true. Sans absolutely knew. It was weird. Flattering, maybe, kinda, but definitely weird.]

Heh, uh. [He counts off the questions on one hand, keeping them straight with each finger.] Thanks, you look alright yourself. I got a brother but nah, from a clan of monsters. Never had skin. Got a good grip on the digits.

[Was that everything? Hard to keep track with this guy.]

Hope I'm everything you dreamed I'd be, pal. It's all downhill from here.

[groupiedrifter]

[He adjusts his glasses (yes, one lens is still cracked to hell), as if 'you look alright yourself' was maybe just gentle teasing, and that maybe he should straighten himself up, try to look less frayed.]

Unless you turn into a Kaiju and eat me, there's no downhill. Trust me.

Besides, we're in the same club. See? I've even got a membership ring.

[He holds up his fist in solidarity, showing the gaudy silver skull ring on his pinky.]

[skelepun]

Not unless I steal your soul.

[Wink. He's kidding. Well, not really.

The ring gives Sans amused pause, canting his skull to the side in thought for a moment. His grin widens, just a hair.]

Cute. But y'know, there's a lot more to being a monster than the aesthetics. If you're serious about joining the club, I mean.

[groupiedrifter]

[He blinks, and then hunkers forward a bit.]

Oh yeah? What else is required for joining the club? Because I'll have you know, I also happen to be a skeleton under all of this.

[He gestures, of course, to his skin.]

[skelepun]

Huh, no kidding. [Whether Sans' surprise is feigned or not is anyone's guess.] If I ever get back to my bro, he's gonna be pumped his human theory was correct. We don't get many of you in the Underground.

[Just the one, really. But Sans has no interest in dwelling on that now, leaning forward with a rhythmic tap of bone against bone as he regards Newt.]

You really wanna know, buddy? 'Cuz I don't got time for posers.

[groupiedrifter]

Man, having a sibling would be so awesome. Always wanted a brother to torment.

[But then he straightens up a little, adjusts his ridiculously loose tie. Because yes, that had started as a little joke, but since Sans is putting him to the test, how can he say no???]

I think I got what it takes. What do I need to do?

[skelepun]

Couldn't recommend it enough, pal. If your parents are still around, you should have 'em get started on that.

[But yes. To business. Sans leans in a little, as if passing on a well guarded secret.]

Monsters are pretty secretive, by necessity. Humans have been kinda rough to us in the past. And, uh, the present. Don't ask me why. [He grins wider.] You any good at puzzles?

[groupiedrifter]

[Would bringing up that he was the product of an affair and his mother ditched him ASAP kill the mood?

... Yeah, probably. So he'll keep that pocketed forever.]

I'm super great at puzzles!

[He's mediocre at them, but it's mostly because his attention span is the size of a goldfish and he never finishes them. Hermann's more of your crosswords and mind puzzles kind of dude. But Newt will absolutely focus if it means getting christened by a monster.]

NOW WITH CORRECT NUMBERS LMAO

[skelepun]

[ hey man, no bummers. ]

Great, you're halfway there. But let's see if you can crack this bad boy...

[ The puzzle in question seems to transfer directly from Sans' mind to Newt's, in perfect clarity. Patent pending, all rights reserved. ]

[groupiedrifter]

... Oh yeah?

Well, you'll be happy to know I totally nailed it.

[Oh! Well, in that case...

There's a long pause, followed by a-]



[This man has multiple PhDs and has successfully built drifting technology out of literal garbage.]

[skelepun]

[ Whaddya know, they have so much in common. Well, except for the word "successfully" and "drifting." ]

Correct answers, overshadowed by a bunch of necessary extras... well damn, you've got the makings of a real monster after all.

[ He kinda does mean that, even if he's winking. ]

Almost makes me feel like I'm not completely outnumbered on this tub.

[groupiedrifter]

Even if you are outnumbered, I've got your back, little skeleton dude.

It's not like you're stomping around trying to wipe out people; you're making crossword puzzles. Any humans worth their salt are gonna love you, guaranteed.

[Newton's always been preeeetty tone deaf, but he's also absolutely the person to go to if you want to be reminded that you're badass and awesome and should love yourself. It's the philosophy he has used since being a teenager in a sea of jealous adults at MIT, or the philosophy he used at the Jaeger Academy, when they took one look at him and wrote him off near immediately because he had dyed hair and jewelry. It's cool to be different. It's cool to be a monster, as long as that monster is full of good stuff. He'll shout it from the rooftops (and get yelled at for being shrieky and loud at 2 in the morning).]

Do you have a name, by the way? I feel bad just calling you all these variations on 'skeleton'. Unless you're into that. Personally, I'm super endeared to 'Skele-man', but, you know.

[skelepun]

[ The confidence of that statement almost makes Sans laugh. It was arrogant, sure, but unintentionally so. Genuine. He really believed the words coming out of his mouth and hell if that wasn't kinda sweet.

Unconvincing, but sweet. ]

Oh, sure. That's always been my experience with humans. [ The video feed means he can't extend a hand, as is his personal preference when it came to greeting new pals, but Sans offers a quick wave all the same. ] And you can call me whatever you want, but the name's Sans.

[groupiedrifter]

Sans is a pretty good name, so maybe I'll just stick with that.

[He crinkles his nose in amusement, still a bit starstruck by the fact that he's talking to a non-human being. Talking to it in a way that isn't drifting through its head, mind you (no offense to the hunk of Kaiju brain in the lab, or Baby Otachi, whom we must assume would speak in baby babbles and rattle shaking, rest in peace).]

So! Tell me about yourself, dude. [He leans on his elbows. This is a date, we're dating over a candlelight dinner. Tell him about long walks on the beach and how much you like astrology.] Otherwise, I'll just annoy you with an endless stream of questions about monsters, which is probably not what you were walking into on purpose.

[skelepun]

[ Well hell if Sans isn't one to match the vibe. He leans forward too, jaw balanced in one hand thoughtfully. ]

It's a family name. [ Skeleton culture is nothing if not steeped in tradition, after all. ] And I dunno, I'm kinda shy. But you seem like a nice guy, so I'll cut you a deal.

[ He holds up a finger, tapping it against his skull. ]

You get one answer in exchange for one question.

[groupiedrifter]

Awwww, no fair! Come on.

[He throws his hands up, slumping back.]

Okayokayokay, uhhhh.

[Well, scientifically, he's got oodles of questions... But...]

What're your favorite things to do?

[skelepun]

[ Wait. Is this a date? Sans bursts into abrupt laughter. ]

That's seriously your question, isn't it? Wait, don't answer that, I don't wanna waste my question on something I know the answer to. [ His laughter finally dies down a bit, confronted with the fact that he has absolutely zero idea how to answer. ] I guess if we're talking a shortlist it's eating good food, drinking good drinks, telling bad jokes, and, uh...

[ Whatever he's about to say, Sans chews on for a few moments before swallowing it back down again. There was a strange ache in his breastbone that he quickly shrugs through, beaming with dazzling sureness. ]

Guess it's a shorter list than I thought. [ Sans moves speedily along with a quick wink. ] Your turn, buddy. What's with the tats?

[groupiedrifter]

[He's about to commend the fact that 'bad jokes' is included in there, but then he's distracted by the question about his tattoos. Usually they're a source of fondness and pride, a sort of complicated relationship he has with what he fears and loves, but it does feel a little morbid to explain to a self-proclaimed monster what's going on there. Would it be offensive? He's not even sure. There are a few people in his world who think he's tasteless and/or lame for it, but they're humans, so...

And anyway, his last few days on earth... drifting with the creatures, it had messed with his passion more than he'd like to admit. Now he's just got an even bigger, more complicated mass of emotions, like a tumor clinging to the outer wall of his heart.]

Oh, uh! They're tattoos of those monsters I told you about. Every year or two, I started getting a new one, so now I'm pretty much done with my arms — and my chest is covered, so now I'm gonna be working on my back, I guess...!

[He looks his arms over, Yamarashi and Gamera Jr. facing outward.

Despite himself, he smiles, a little proudly, a little fondly.]

It kind of started out as me facing two big fears at the same time, you know? Needles and the monsters from the ocean stomping on our cities? But I guess over the years, it became a lot of things.

[skelepun]

[ It was a fresh subject, which is exactly what Sans wanted out of his question. After all, who didn't love talking about their tattoos? Not that they were especially common underground, but sometimes temporary ones would wash down from the surface into the dump. Sans remembered a time when his brother found one bearing a particularly demonic looking skull and couldn't stop talking about it for weeks. Sans had to have a mini-intervention to get him to wash his scapula.

At the time, Sans had no real idea why humans would want skulls on their arms. Listening to Newt, the reasoning seemed... clearer, somehow. Though Newt's fear seemed considerably more justified than whatever was frightening the humans on the surface of his world. ]

Yeah? [ There's laughter in the word, though it's not so much at Newt as a sort of fond consideration of Newt's admission. ] So the tats, did they come before or after you decided to study them? [ A beat. ] The aliens, not needles.

[groupiedrifter]

I guess somewhere around the same time? I went into the academy, and one thing led to another. If I’m honest, it started becoming this exciting thing, to get a new one done — which I know sounds kind of fucked up, but they were all I studied for years, day and night, and eventually... I realized I wasn’t scared of them, not like a lot of people were. I just wanted to know more; to figure out how they worked. They were the most complex, fascinating creatures to walk the earth...! Like Godzilla, or King Kong, or Mothra, but in the flesh. And we didn’t know anything about them for so long...!

[Sorry, he’s starting to get a little chatty; it’s too clear that, even with his complicated feelings, he can’t help but excitedly discuss them. He reigns himself in, but not without some difficulty.]

I guess now I don’t really have any new kaiju for tattoos... but you know, I’m sure there are some pretty badass-looking aliens out there that would be good for a back piece...