Video; UN: Stardust | On Valentine's Day
Feb. 15th, 2022 07:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shadysided[cw: potential discussion of common mental health issues, enter at ye own risk!]
... This is bullshit, y'know.
[Luckily, Ziggy is not in the infirmary. She's not at her best, and she's still a bit underweight from all those weeks of working hard with little food, but she's not really hurt. Despite this, she hasn't been out of her room much. In fact, she's been... barely out at all. To collect food and leave, maybe.
Nothing like trapping yourself with your own thoughts to really have a good time.]
I killed people on that planet. I did it to protect me or my team, but I still just — I killed people. And everyone else, they killed a lot of people, too. I've never killed someone before, and now I've shot more than one person dead.
... Spare me the kneejerk reaction of 'life's unfair' or 'grow a thicker skin' or whatever. I've heard that plenty growing up. I know there's tons of people who deal with it like any other Friday night. I know saying anything doesn't matter, because we've got to do what we have to do, and the orbs are evil, awful curses on the people who come in contact with them.
But I killed people. They were bad people, and that helps, but it doesn't — make it go away. It's just... Wherever we go, we're always going to be unsafe, and scared, and we can't trust anyone. Not even each other, right? Because we don't even know what kind of people are really here. You could think someone's nice and then they're just... not. They could turn on you for whatever. And people, they wouldn't even know. They'd think you just died on a mission; they'd just move on and forget you. People might be more than happy to walk over you to undo their regrets.
People've said we can just leave, but... that's a load of shit, too. Who's gonna leave if they're told leaving means their family stays dead? Their friends? Some people don't even have a choice. For some people, if they leave, they just die. So how do we even know? That any of this matters? The orbs are going to punish us, too. They'll turn on us for being stupid enough to make deals with them.
[She runs her hands over her face, red hair falling around her face.]
I'm — I don't know. I'm not even supposed to be here. But who else is going to save a bunch of kids nobody ever gave a shit about? Nobody else is gonna save us but ourselves.
[Glancing aside, she folds her hands defensively.]
... Happy Valentine's Day. Enjoy the chocolates. I'm going to sit this holiday out, thanks.
... This is bullshit, y'know.
[Luckily, Ziggy is not in the infirmary. She's not at her best, and she's still a bit underweight from all those weeks of working hard with little food, but she's not really hurt. Despite this, she hasn't been out of her room much. In fact, she's been... barely out at all. To collect food and leave, maybe.
Nothing like trapping yourself with your own thoughts to really have a good time.]
I killed people on that planet. I did it to protect me or my team, but I still just — I killed people. And everyone else, they killed a lot of people, too. I've never killed someone before, and now I've shot more than one person dead.
... Spare me the kneejerk reaction of 'life's unfair' or 'grow a thicker skin' or whatever. I've heard that plenty growing up. I know there's tons of people who deal with it like any other Friday night. I know saying anything doesn't matter, because we've got to do what we have to do, and the orbs are evil, awful curses on the people who come in contact with them.
But I killed people. They were bad people, and that helps, but it doesn't — make it go away. It's just... Wherever we go, we're always going to be unsafe, and scared, and we can't trust anyone. Not even each other, right? Because we don't even know what kind of people are really here. You could think someone's nice and then they're just... not. They could turn on you for whatever. And people, they wouldn't even know. They'd think you just died on a mission; they'd just move on and forget you. People might be more than happy to walk over you to undo their regrets.
People've said we can just leave, but... that's a load of shit, too. Who's gonna leave if they're told leaving means their family stays dead? Their friends? Some people don't even have a choice. For some people, if they leave, they just die. So how do we even know? That any of this matters? The orbs are going to punish us, too. They'll turn on us for being stupid enough to make deals with them.
[She runs her hands over her face, red hair falling around her face.]
I'm — I don't know. I'm not even supposed to be here. But who else is going to save a bunch of kids nobody ever gave a shit about? Nobody else is gonna save us but ourselves.
[Glancing aside, she folds her hands defensively.]
... Happy Valentine's Day. Enjoy the chocolates. I'm going to sit this holiday out, thanks.
