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I'm curious and I'm bored as fuck.

who do we think is fucking who on this ship? there's gotta be a hundred people here. there is no fucking way we're all virgins with purity rings saving ourselves for marriage.

I'd say under-21s look away but I've been a teenaged dipshit, you fuckers are going to want in on this gossip shit anyway. come get your - I think they call it "tea" on Twitter? it's been a while, I'm not up to date.

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what kinda tea are you looking for? i could tell ya about oolong, earl gray, english breakfast, lemon zinger...

those are ship names btw

when you say ship names

are you talking about other space ships? are there other space ships?

( Goddamn you kids and your weird jargon. )

[ we gotta get you off facebook, eddie. it's time to join society. ]

nah i got different names for those

( Okay, first off, rude. Second, yeah, okay— also true. )

????

then what are the first ship names about?

oh that's just my nickname for those little rafts that getcha through stormy waters in life.

what, you never heard of boats before?

??????

wait

ships like

relationSHIPS?

( Eddie, buddy, you're getting it. )

Oolong should be for those dick measuring ships. You know, the ones who keep trying to one up each other.

not a bad alternative, but i don't really go in for games of inches.

'sides, where's the sport in a contest you always win?

Those are fighting words behind an anonymous filter.

catch me if you can, cop

Not my kind of game.

Anyway why tea names when you can give people terrible name smushes?

I know a few men who fit that dynamic...

Only a few?

[ quietly links this ]

wtf are you talking about, those are tea names.

[Oh, Richie. Buddy. Never seen an AO3 account in your life, huh?]

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