text ↪ un: torontonian

[hallowing]

important q


if u were a dnd character


what class would u be



if u dont know wat dnd is (wow sorry for ur life) a class will be assigned for u randomly. no i dont make the rules.

Comments

text: un: secunit

[constructually]

[Hang on it has to look something up.

Okay yeah this is cool.]

Barbarian.

[hallowing]

THANK U

FINALLY

SOMEONE WHO KNOWS HOW TO PLAY THE FUCKING GAME

thanks secs u are my new fave

[constructually]

There are similar games where I'm from.

[Let's pretend Murderbot just sent Cy an information packet about some made up TTRPG except it involves like, holograms or some shit and is conducted via online interface because this is the future.]

What class would you be in Dungeons & Dragons?

[hallowing]

shit ur on the ball babe, i think u might be my next bad decision



i'd be a bard. but like, a weird pacifist bard. all i wanna do is sit on the sidelines and cast vicious mockery and like occasionally fuck things that no sane man would fuck

[constructually]

[Softly, but with feeling: ew.]

It will be a bad decision if you address me as "babe" again.

[ :)

This is a threat.]

That does not sound as fun as being a barbarian.

[Cyram your opinions are bad and you should feel bad.]

[hallowing]

quickest way to my heart's with a fifty cal. 😘

and i guess that depends on ur idea of fun!!


i don't think anybody wants a pacifist barbarian tho

cw descriptions of violence

[constructually]

Unnecessary. It isn't difficult to go through the stomach and reach up into someone's ribcage.

[This actually would count as flirting if Murderbot ever wanted to flirt.]

Sex is not my idea of fun.

A pacifist barbarian would be pointless. The purpose of the game is to kill enemies.

[hallowing]

i bet u say that to all the boys.

（ like, he's not a masochist, but also... okay, that's still hot. ）

yea but i don't jive with murder!! even fictional murder!! i just wanna smell flowers and pet bunnies u feel me?

who cares abt the objective i wanna walk to the beat of my own drum*


* this is a bard joke

[constructually]

[There's a small delay in response time as Murderbot frowns at the message.]

Query: You don't 'jive' with murder but respond positively to discussions of violence. Can you explain the contradiction?

[Humans are so weird and it's just trying to understand.]

[hallowing]

one was a (theoretical) threat against me (acceptable)

one was a threat against others (not acceptable)

[constructually]

Thank you for the clarification.

[Murderbot considers its next response, before deciding to be a shit.]

You're a masochist.

[There's the equivalent of an emoji attached to the message that signifies this is a joke.]

[hallowing]

are u kidding??? i couldn't handle masochism i'd cry 😭😭😭