Video | welcome, hallo, buenos días, ohayō, etc, etc! | UN: Newt

[groupiedrifter]

[Newt comes shuffling into view on the screen, holding a cup of coffee in his hand with a bag of what seems to be Sour Patch Kids harrowingly hanging out from beneath the pinky finger of the very same hand. Disheveled but more than happy to provide his services after dragging himself out of bed, he taps his knuckle on the chalkboard beside him — one that used to be Hermann Gottlieb's, may he rest in peace (in a not dead way — may he rest in peace on a beach or something while wholly alive and thriving).]

Noticed an influx of new and kinda-new faces over the last few days or weeks or whatever.

So here's my handy dandy welcome board! Recently updated, to keep with the times.

Read it over and get a feel for how this place goes; I'm gonna finish off this coffee before I take any questions.

[As he takes the world's most obnoxious-sounding sip and burns his tongue, here's the board in question:]



[And then, after a bit of time, he turns the board over to the other side:]



[No worries, current crew, if you can't get one of those introduction papers in person!

Because he's attached them in file format, too.]



[And in case you wanted a text format copy:

Name:
Age:
Birthday:
Favorite color:
Favorite food:
Favorite subject:
Favorite toy:
Favorite animal:
Favorite candy:
Favorite activity:
Favorite place:
Favorite book:
Favorite TV show:
Favorite movie:
I am good at:
I want to learn:
Least favorite subject:
Place I want to go:
If I could make one wish, it would be:
If I could have one superpower, it would be:
This is what I want my teacher to know about me:

(Have at it — threadjacking is encouraged).]

Comments

text | un: andy

[oiorpata]

Name: Andy
Age: 37 or 41.5 give or take a few decades
Birthday: May 40th
Favorite color: Depends on the century
Favorite food: Baklava
Favorite subject: Geometry
Favorite toy: A knife
Favorite animal: Horses
Favorite candy: Starbursts
Favorite activity: Sleeping
Favorite place: The moon
Favorite book: I never learned how to read
Favorite TV show: The one with the puppets
Favorite movie: I like a good heist
I am good at: Swords ;)
I want to learn: Basic Math
Least favorite subject: Geometry
Place I want to go: A land down under
If I could make one wish, it would be: World Peace
If I could have one superpower, it would be: Immortality :)
This is what I want my teacher to know about me: I'm allergic to nuts

[ she is once again 50% full of shit. ]

Re: text | un: andy

[groupiedrifter]

You dropped your crown, my Baklava Queen 👐👑

[how embarrassing of him.]

Duuude, I can't believe I never noticed how full of shit you are on these.😌

[oiorpata]

Should I deny it three times first or ??

[ well she laughed, so. ]

That's just a problem you need to consider with any kind of survey. I'm being educational.

[groupiedrifter]

My poor data is compromised.
How will I cope????


.......... Are you really allergic to nuts, though?
Because if you are then the baklava thing is a concerning level of masochism.

[oiorpata]

Isn't that something every scientist needs to be prepared for?

No, congratulations you found one bit of bullshit. But I might suffer for it if I had to.

[groupiedrifter]

I mean, same.
I wouldn't let anything stop me from eating unhealthy food.
You can pry my peanut M&Ms out of my cold, puffy, hive-covered hands.

And of course we gotta be prepared!
It doesn't mean I'm not an extremely loud complainer.
😬☝

[oiorpata]

I've eaten literal garbage and a myriad of unhealthy shit over the years. A bag of flaming hot dill pickle remix potato chips is nothing.

Are you actually allergic to them?

text; un: felix

[swordandshield]

See, now if I tried to put that down as my favorite toy--absolutely my favorite kind though--I'd just get side-eyed for the rest of forever.

Why is it that crazy hot chicks can get away with that?

[Because they're cool, Felix. And also less douche-y.]

[oiorpata]

Have you tried being a hot chick?

[swordandshield]

I mean, I could try it on the internet like an old creepy dude but that wouldn't really solve my problem in the long run. And it would be creepy. Like, creepier than the original complaint.

[oiorpata]

I didn't say pretend.

Maybe you need to adjust other areas. It might not be the knife causing the side eye.

[swordandshield]

Am I about to be critiqued? Ooohh, I love this time of day! [not. and yet. he set himself up for it anyway.]

[oiorpata]

Hardly. I'm just here to enjoy Newt's questionnaire not fix anyone.

un: knife

[eyeronically]

what kind of knife?

[oiorpata]

I see you're a fan too.

A butterfly knife is fun, and I like a good rampuri. Depends on the mood.

[eyeronically]

a butterfly knife is essential if you're going to knife.

[oiorpata]

So you're a person of taste. I have a few here.

[eyeronically]

( don't threaten him with a good time!! )

yours? or from that thing in the armory?

[oiorpata]

[ she can be very threatening!! ]

The printer in the armory, but also I've taken some back from missions. Don't knock it, I've used it to make a lot of shit.

They're mine now, that's what counts.

[morethan084]

youre such a shit

[oiorpata]

Maybe this whole time I've just been testing Newt.

[morethan084]

You’re not supposed to let him onto that.

[oiorpata]

It's been long enough for me to get a little more obvious about it.

[morethan084]

I guess you’re right

[oiorpata]

Thanks for admitting it 😎