[anon text] [ROSE WOES]

[kenpachi]

Hello! A little light-hearted fun, shall we?

Please nominate your favourite eligible bachelor/ette aboard the Ximilia, and vote for who you believe deserves the title of Ximilia's Most Eligible Bachelor/ette!

The deadline is MARCH 3RD at 9:00 AM local time! Get your votes in quickly, everyone!

The winner can be featured on a commemorative trading card for the month of March. :) If he or she agrees, in any case. If they refuse, the title will go to the runner-up!

Thank you!

<b>Bachelor/ette:</b> <b>Tell us about your bachelor/ette:</b> <b>Why do they deserve to win?</b>

（ added a bit later... ）

And if anyone wishes to opt out of participation, please say so!

NOMINEES SO FAR:

ANDY (who sounds like a very interesting individual!)
NEWT (who doesn't love a good tattoo?) STRONGLY DISQUALIFIED FOR BEING A CANNIBAL!
RITA (an actress! this is where I'd put my vote if I wasn't staying perfectly impartial!)
A GHOST?! (how terrifying!)
FINN (something about hearts...?)
YELENA (who doesn't love dogs? They're so cute and loyal!)
SABRIEL (a classy magic user has entered the ring!)
TAKESHI (I think he grows peaches? By all the voting, it seems he's kindly enough to share!)
ZHAO (a dragon chef!)
YENNEFER (I am given to understand she is on fire... perhaps someone should check on her...?)
WEI WUXIAN (I hear his hair is amazing!)
SHAUN XU (I think we were promised shirtless pictures...)
ALEKSANDER (are we sure about this one?)
STEVE (It seems like Wei Wuxian has some competition for 'best hair on the station'!)
DR. MCCOY (A medical man, and has anyone heard that accent? Charming!)
YUJIN (x2! and he tapdances! Wow, there are so many doctors here!!)
A FINE CLOAK? (is this... legal? Do people wish to date drapery?)
RYUNOSUKE (A lawyer! Do we need those here? But not a picky eater at least!)
DIMITRI (He rescues cats from trees! What's not to love?)
MAL (I hear you can get lost in his eyes! Sounds dreamy!)



[ooc; not to be taken too seriously, Unohana runs several newspaper columns in her own world and gets up to Shenanigans with the Shinigami Women's Association. She's a tiny bit of a troll but hides it behind the Soft Matron Energy.

... also it's a good way to gather information c:]

Comments

[groupiedrifter]

I DO NOT EAT CHILDREN

[kenpachi]

SIR, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

[groupiedrifter]

How can I, being accused of CHILD CANNIBALISM!

Not when I've got a perfectly good tube of Pringles right next to me, cmon!

[kenpachi]

Is 'Pringles' the name of a child?

You monster!

[groupiedrifter]

Ok, now you're all just teasing me.
Besides, that rando apparently 'slurps squirts'. REAL CONCERNING STUFF.

Pringles are delicious, salty, flavorful snacks ftr, they're chips!
being anonymous and all, IDK if I can share them with you. :/

[kenpachi]

I'm sorry, but I'm not sure I can trust — on matters of taste — a man who regularly consumes children!

[groupiedrifter]

I can't believe you're letting the real child-chomper get away with this.
This is some real Lifetime Original Movie crap right here

[kenpachi]

I have disqualified you from further participation in these nominations!

I will reconsider if you can produce proof you've learned to control your cannibalistic impulses.

[groupiedrifter]

Man, this is BOGUS.

Alright, well. When I've ran out of kids to eat, I'll let you know.

text; un: kovacs

[kovach]

hey i eat shit kids for breakfast too
guess you can count me out

[doooooog]

spoken like a real kid-gulper

[groupiedrifter]

y'know you're being really mean here
I'm someone looking for love, and you're intentionally sabotaging my chances
Are you anti-love? Awful, dude, just awful. Villain stuff, right there.😔

[doooooog]

what's being a child-chomper gotta do with looking for love?
since when are those mutually exclusive.

[groupiedrifter]

Because it's libel!! It's falsified information created specifically to create a negative opinion of me!
What if you're some weirdo child-chomper???
And you're just accusing me to get the heat off YOURSELF.

[doooooog]

whoa, me? some kind of baby-biter? ME, this guy, right here?
yeah man i slurp squirts all the time

[groupiedrifter]

I knew it
you're not gonna get away with this, CHILD-CHOMPER.
Eating kids is one thing, but trying to ruin my chance at bachelorhood????
Unforgiveable!

[doooooog]

listen, salmon roe is really good man
i don't know what to tell you
maybe take a date to get some sushi sometime. you can be minor diners together.

1/2

[groupiedrifter]

... I do really like salmon roe.

[kenpachi]

It is wildly suspect, isn't it...?

[doooooog]

in my experience, people saying they aren't something almost always means they is that thing.
that's just psychology.

[kenpachi]

Oh, how clever!

You must know quite a lot...

[doooooog]

i am an expert in many facets of life, it's true. kudos to you for noticing.

[kenpachi]

Why haven't they made you the leader here yet?

Wait!

Unless...

Am I talking to Commander Degar?!

1/2

[doooooog]

[ thank you glob ]

2/2

[doooooog]

wow, you've got a good eye. i didn't think anyone would clock it was me.
i don't normally wade into the matters of the crew, y'see
but these anonymous posts provide a nice break from singing softly to the orbs 24/7